emotions
okay so i try not to bitch about stuff on here. especially not specifics but i am really upset.
I am upset that i don't fit in with any of the 'crowds' that i know. i am upset no one calls me over break. i am upset that i care that people don't call. i am upset at one person imparticualar. We end up seeing eachother a lot and i think that this person is really great. but whenever we make plans thay have stopped calling me. they will call someone else and have them call me. We used to chat and talk and now i feel like i have offended them or i am just not cool enough to be their friend anymore. like they don't want to talk to me. my dad told me to talk to them about it, and i just can see this person having no idea what i am talking about. they will just say that instead of calling me and everyone else, they figured someone else could save them the extra 5 min, which makes sence and all. so i feel stupid for being upset about it. of couse my father being the political republican that he is ventured i could be wrong and their could be lots of other reasons this person has stopped talking to me. i think i am not wrong.
I am upset because on new years i am going to be going to orlando not to see my friends but to see my aunt and uncle, and as much as i love them, i am 19 and want to have friends. But i don't. i got a message today from someone i used to date. I liked him quite a bit but it didn't work out. and he said that he believes i will never find someone that is my equal and that he holds me on a pedestal. As touched as i was by this statement i also became very sad. because i don't think i am better than anyone and i just wish i had some people i could be myself around. but i guess if i take a positive spin on it then maybe other people are like him and don't think i would want to hang out with them, like i am too good for them. (i don't know who reads this) but if anyone does read this and thinks that, please know that is not true at all. that i am just as lonely as anybody else.
i am not really good at emotions. sounds like a stupid comment from a girl, but 'feelings' are not my strong point. and lately i have been 'feeling' a lot and i hate it. i know it is a good thing and all, i just don't like it. also a lot of these feelings are not ones i like to have. i like happy. and fun. but i have been upset, angry, sad. i don't like those for me.
I really do wish everyone a Happy New Year and i have safe holiday!
<3 melissa
I am upset that i don't fit in with any of the 'crowds' that i know. i am upset no one calls me over break. i am upset that i care that people don't call. i am upset at one person imparticualar. We end up seeing eachother a lot and i think that this person is really great. but whenever we make plans thay have stopped calling me. they will call someone else and have them call me. We used to chat and talk and now i feel like i have offended them or i am just not cool enough to be their friend anymore. like they don't want to talk to me. my dad told me to talk to them about it, and i just can see this person having no idea what i am talking about. they will just say that instead of calling me and everyone else, they figured someone else could save them the extra 5 min, which makes sence and all. so i feel stupid for being upset about it. of couse my father being the political republican that he is ventured i could be wrong and their could be lots of other reasons this person has stopped talking to me. i think i am not wrong.
I am upset because on new years i am going to be going to orlando not to see my friends but to see my aunt and uncle, and as much as i love them, i am 19 and want to have friends. But i don't. i got a message today from someone i used to date. I liked him quite a bit but it didn't work out. and he said that he believes i will never find someone that is my equal and that he holds me on a pedestal. As touched as i was by this statement i also became very sad. because i don't think i am better than anyone and i just wish i had some people i could be myself around. but i guess if i take a positive spin on it then maybe other people are like him and don't think i would want to hang out with them, like i am too good for them. (i don't know who reads this) but if anyone does read this and thinks that, please know that is not true at all. that i am just as lonely as anybody else.
i am not really good at emotions. sounds like a stupid comment from a girl, but 'feelings' are not my strong point. and lately i have been 'feeling' a lot and i hate it. i know it is a good thing and all, i just don't like it. also a lot of these feelings are not ones i like to have. i like happy. and fun. but i have been upset, angry, sad. i don't like those for me.
I really do wish everyone a Happy New Year and i have safe holiday!
<3 melissa