Oh but it's that time again...
And so I bring to you the latest gems from my wonderful university students. All spellling, punctuation, and grammar errors are theirs, as is frequent lack of logic.
My comments are below. Because everyone should see how my mind works and MSTing students is the only way I keep from hating my life.
"Most fairy tales begin with the dilemmas brought up at the beginning of the story."
*sings* Let's start at the very beginning. It's a very good place to start!
"Throughout our lives some of the experiences that we have will be lived happily, while the other will be lived miserably."
Life is a crapshoot, folks.
"However the thirteenth fairy was not supposed to murder a person's life just because she was not pleased with the invitation result."
She should have murdered a person's death.
"Giving each character a single personality, the reader of the fairy tale could pay more attention to the more all of the story, which was that virtuous would always hold punishment for the wickedness."
As opposed to the author giving characters multiple personalities?
"Evil is an omnipresent virtue. One example of this is the evil fairy wearing a black hat."
Well, I'm thrilled to know that wearing my black hat is a virtue... of evol! Muahahahaha!
"Big sister is evil because she doesn't allow him to play with her stuffs."
Bad ring finger, bad! Stop letting them include incorrect S's! Honestly. Stuffs. Do people say that?
"Magic and swords are not the likely solutions to solving problems in our daily life."
Goddamnit!
"Being evil is an action that shouldn't be done and it will only get people in trouble."
Thanks. I wasn't clear about that.
"The author also does not explain why simplicity of the fiary tales offer children strategies for dealing with struggle and hardship, during the ages when the child is still developing their neurological senses within their brain in their early years with their parents."
Errr... Not to be confused with neurological senses in their arse?
In this fairy tale the author has good and bad to demonstrate the characters' personality."
Good and bad what? PUPPIES?!?!?!
"The shock of the little riding hood would be her dead grandmother, eaten up by the wolf, and in some stores, after the wolf has died, it would have become a warm pelt for the child."
Right. Thank you Captain Obvious and his sidekick WTF Boy.
"Annie learned that it was wrong to control other people's life by killing them."
Instead, Annie learned that you should control other people's lives by Chinese water torture and butt plugs.
"She must live life as a pleasant girl, not telling anyone the big secret that she is the princess."
And therefore an evil bitch!
"Children since day one have to be told how to eat and how to do things."
'Now open your mouth, then close, and suck,' commands the mother to the infant. ... Er, wait, this is a topic sentence to a paragraph about responsibility in The Goose Girl? WTF?!
"Fairy tales provides children with the basic human prediction: death and love."
*snorts* That should be 'predicament' but I rather like the prediction. *doesn't like the verb agreement problem though*
"It is human instinct to have struggles in life."
Please tell me you don't mean that and you just hit 'shift-F7' and picked the pretty noun?
"Fairy tales help distinguishes between the different ambivalent behaviors like good and bad, but like in reality nothing in between."
Good and bad are ambivalent. Check.
To find a wife the prince has to throw a spear at a girl's door. He was getting frustrated, because he did not know what girl to choose and so he lets the spear go into the dessert. There he finds a monkey."
And monkey's brains while popular... in pudding?
"Well the girl did not listen to her mother and she louses the handkerchief and also louses all her power."
Hmm, anyone have a good louse repellant handy?
"For the kindness of the queen, the fish fulfills her with a baby girl. A celebration was put for the wonderful gift they have recieved; a wonderful baby girl."
Now is the time to use 'shift-F7', but carefully.
"Are your sisters and stepmother treating you like dirt? No problem, the prince will come save you. Did you die from eating a poisonous apple? No problem, the prince will come and raise you from the dead."
Honestly? That's the best summation of fairy tales ever. *gives student an A*
My comments are below. Because everyone should see how my mind works and MSTing students is the only way I keep from hating my life.
"Most fairy tales begin with the dilemmas brought up at the beginning of the story."
*sings* Let's start at the very beginning. It's a very good place to start!
"Throughout our lives some of the experiences that we have will be lived happily, while the other will be lived miserably."
Life is a crapshoot, folks.
"However the thirteenth fairy was not supposed to murder a person's life just because she was not pleased with the invitation result."
She should have murdered a person's death.
"Giving each character a single personality, the reader of the fairy tale could pay more attention to the more all of the story, which was that virtuous would always hold punishment for the wickedness."
As opposed to the author giving characters multiple personalities?
"Evil is an omnipresent virtue. One example of this is the evil fairy wearing a black hat."
Well, I'm thrilled to know that wearing my black hat is a virtue... of evol! Muahahahaha!
"Big sister is evil because she doesn't allow him to play with her stuffs."
Bad ring finger, bad! Stop letting them include incorrect S's! Honestly. Stuffs. Do people say that?
"Magic and swords are not the likely solutions to solving problems in our daily life."
Goddamnit!
"Being evil is an action that shouldn't be done and it will only get people in trouble."
Thanks. I wasn't clear about that.
"The author also does not explain why simplicity of the fiary tales offer children strategies for dealing with struggle and hardship, during the ages when the child is still developing their neurological senses within their brain in their early years with their parents."
Errr... Not to be confused with neurological senses in their arse?
In this fairy tale the author has good and bad to demonstrate the characters' personality."
Good and bad what? PUPPIES?!?!?!
"The shock of the little riding hood would be her dead grandmother, eaten up by the wolf, and in some stores, after the wolf has died, it would have become a warm pelt for the child."
Right. Thank you Captain Obvious and his sidekick WTF Boy.
"Annie learned that it was wrong to control other people's life by killing them."
Instead, Annie learned that you should control other people's lives by Chinese water torture and butt plugs.
"She must live life as a pleasant girl, not telling anyone the big secret that she is the princess."
And therefore an evil bitch!
"Children since day one have to be told how to eat and how to do things."
'Now open your mouth, then close, and suck,' commands the mother to the infant. ... Er, wait, this is a topic sentence to a paragraph about responsibility in The Goose Girl? WTF?!
"Fairy tales provides children with the basic human prediction: death and love."
*snorts* That should be 'predicament' but I rather like the prediction. *doesn't like the verb agreement problem though*
"It is human instinct to have struggles in life."
Please tell me you don't mean that and you just hit 'shift-F7' and picked the pretty noun?
"Fairy tales help distinguishes between the different ambivalent behaviors like good and bad, but like in reality nothing in between."
Good and bad are ambivalent. Check.
To find a wife the prince has to throw a spear at a girl's door. He was getting frustrated, because he did not know what girl to choose and so he lets the spear go into the dessert. There he finds a monkey."
And monkey's brains while popular... in pudding?
"Well the girl did not listen to her mother and she louses the handkerchief and also louses all her power."
Hmm, anyone have a good louse repellant handy?
"For the kindness of the queen, the fish fulfills her with a baby girl. A celebration was put for the wonderful gift they have recieved; a wonderful baby girl."
Now is the time to use 'shift-F7', but carefully.
"Are your sisters and stepmother treating you like dirt? No problem, the prince will come save you. Did you die from eating a poisonous apple? No problem, the prince will come and raise you from the dead."
Honestly? That's the best summation of fairy tales ever. *gives student an A*