When was the last time you, you laughed so hard you cried?
I hate that feeling when you really want to say something meaning and significant that will make others sit back and think, but the things that are in your head will only be so significant to you.
I had a wonderful and unexpected phone conversation last night.
God bless the World Series!
Matthew Charles called me up after I texted him to let him know my mom heard "Pretender" on the pre-game show. (Well apparently a billion other people had that same idea)
But he called me back, and only about 2 minutes of the conversation centered around that subject.
Instead it was a glorious 21 minute conversation about living at home, lack of privacy, recording, and Irish soda bread.
(Only to be ended by another call from their attorney, bummer!)
Anyways, beyond that, this month seems to have brought the annual change.
Summer to Autumn. Happy people to morose.
Welcome to Seasonal Depression, Enjoy the Stay!
I think this time of year, well I know I feel hopeless and lost a lot, but everyone just begins to believe there is nothing good left in life.
And on the days that I feel okay, the other people I care about, don't, and this in turn brings me back down because there is nothing this time of year that I can say to help them.
(Run on sentence, yes, fuck you)
It makes me think of the last book in the Chronicles of Narnia.
When everyone enters the "real" Narnia, the poor dwarves can only see a small, dark room.
All they taste are the lowest and filthiest of foods.
And all they believe is that they've been captured and trapped in some sort of hellish cave that they can never escape, thus they are miserable.
And all the children, Lucy especially, try so hard to show them the food is really a wonderful feast and they are sitting in the greenest of fields on the brightest of days.
But it's as if they only hear what is in their own minds.
To me, that is what these cold, dark months of winter are.
We are all just trapped in our own dreary little room and we can't see the escape, no matter how obvious it may be.
As I already stated, I am not immune to the season, but I am fortunate enough to be able to remind myself of a few things.
1. Today (anyday) is no different than any other day of the year, and if I can feel wonderful in a different season, than I should be able to make this work.
2. I am not alone. Whether it is in the fact that millions of other people are suffering from the same problem, or purely that I can count of friends and family to be there for me, I don't have to feel shut out from the world.
While there may be other points, I believe those two to be the most important.
On the downest of days when all I want to do is crawl in bed and sleepsleepsleep, the littlest gesture can just pick me right up out of my hole.
Maybe I'm jut easy and optomistic.
An unexpected phonecall letting me know that a good friend is alive and well and thinking of me. Stepping outside and seeing a clear blue sky, even when the temperature is so cold that it hurts. Reconnecting with someone wonderful from the past. Hell, even eating a completely satisfying, 100% hits-the-spot meal.
Even the worst days aren't usually as bad as we think they are, it's just hard to see them for the potential they could have if we only want to try.
I said I wanted to say something that would make people think, and maybe this will, or maybe I am right in thinking it's only significant to me.
In any case, I have been thinking a lot of the subject and I just felt the need to express those thoughts regardless.
I had a wonderful and unexpected phone conversation last night.
God bless the World Series!
Matthew Charles called me up after I texted him to let him know my mom heard "Pretender" on the pre-game show. (Well apparently a billion other people had that same idea)
But he called me back, and only about 2 minutes of the conversation centered around that subject.
Instead it was a glorious 21 minute conversation about living at home, lack of privacy, recording, and Irish soda bread.
(Only to be ended by another call from their attorney, bummer!)
Anyways, beyond that, this month seems to have brought the annual change.
Summer to Autumn. Happy people to morose.
Welcome to Seasonal Depression, Enjoy the Stay!
I think this time of year, well I know I feel hopeless and lost a lot, but everyone just begins to believe there is nothing good left in life.
And on the days that I feel okay, the other people I care about, don't, and this in turn brings me back down because there is nothing this time of year that I can say to help them.
(Run on sentence, yes, fuck you)
It makes me think of the last book in the Chronicles of Narnia.
When everyone enters the "real" Narnia, the poor dwarves can only see a small, dark room.
All they taste are the lowest and filthiest of foods.
And all they believe is that they've been captured and trapped in some sort of hellish cave that they can never escape, thus they are miserable.
And all the children, Lucy especially, try so hard to show them the food is really a wonderful feast and they are sitting in the greenest of fields on the brightest of days.
But it's as if they only hear what is in their own minds.
To me, that is what these cold, dark months of winter are.
We are all just trapped in our own dreary little room and we can't see the escape, no matter how obvious it may be.
As I already stated, I am not immune to the season, but I am fortunate enough to be able to remind myself of a few things.
1. Today (anyday) is no different than any other day of the year, and if I can feel wonderful in a different season, than I should be able to make this work.
2. I am not alone. Whether it is in the fact that millions of other people are suffering from the same problem, or purely that I can count of friends and family to be there for me, I don't have to feel shut out from the world.
While there may be other points, I believe those two to be the most important.
On the downest of days when all I want to do is crawl in bed and sleepsleepsleep, the littlest gesture can just pick me right up out of my hole.
Maybe I'm jut easy and optomistic.
An unexpected phonecall letting me know that a good friend is alive and well and thinking of me. Stepping outside and seeing a clear blue sky, even when the temperature is so cold that it hurts. Reconnecting with someone wonderful from the past. Hell, even eating a completely satisfying, 100% hits-the-spot meal.
Even the worst days aren't usually as bad as we think they are, it's just hard to see them for the potential they could have if we only want to try.
I said I wanted to say something that would make people think, and maybe this will, or maybe I am right in thinking it's only significant to me.
In any case, I have been thinking a lot of the subject and I just felt the need to express those thoughts regardless.