(no subject)
a moment of peace.
i got cut.
but i'm glad because i have a friend coming up for the night.
i wrote my statement today.
some days i think i'm schizophrenic.
i bounce between intoxicated bliss and dispirited gloom.
i'm sitting with you eating dinner.
i'm attentive to what you're saying.
'you know, you're one of those striking people that one would look at walking down the street
and see that mystery that you house. you're beautiful, and yet, if you look up, one would think
you were slightly pissed off. I know you, so I know it's not true, but strangers don't know.'
i glance up, give you an icy smile.
'mmmm... you think?'
you think i'm listening to you ramble
but really
i'm plotting murder in my brain.
what would be the quickest
most painless way
to let her go?
do you ever miss being a child?
i wish we could all be adults, but have the capacity to carry that child within us.
sometimes we forget that child.
we leave them behind, and with them all things meaningful.
a memory.
I'm 6.
laying on the grass under the stars, in my sundress, curls splayed out around my face,
one knee bent, the other carelessly thrown in the air
my little feet bare
whispering secrets to the fireflies i catch in my hands.
how come we never have time to catch fireflies?
life passes by so fast and we have only time to keep up with it all.
sometimes i wish i could reclaim that childhood felicity that i once held so precious.
sometimes i think i've lost her.
and i spend days trying not to brood over her loss.
it's a waste of time.
or is it?
i wrote this to a friend last week.
pretty much sums up my mood.
lately.
i got cut.
but i'm glad because i have a friend coming up for the night.
i wrote my statement today.
some days i think i'm schizophrenic.
i bounce between intoxicated bliss and dispirited gloom.
i'm sitting with you eating dinner.
i'm attentive to what you're saying.
'you know, you're one of those striking people that one would look at walking down the street
and see that mystery that you house. you're beautiful, and yet, if you look up, one would think
you were slightly pissed off. I know you, so I know it's not true, but strangers don't know.'
i glance up, give you an icy smile.
'mmmm... you think?'
you think i'm listening to you ramble
but really
i'm plotting murder in my brain.
what would be the quickest
most painless way
to let her go?
do you ever miss being a child?
i wish we could all be adults, but have the capacity to carry that child within us.
sometimes we forget that child.
we leave them behind, and with them all things meaningful.
a memory.
I'm 6.
laying on the grass under the stars, in my sundress, curls splayed out around my face,
one knee bent, the other carelessly thrown in the air
my little feet bare
whispering secrets to the fireflies i catch in my hands.
how come we never have time to catch fireflies?
life passes by so fast and we have only time to keep up with it all.
sometimes i wish i could reclaim that childhood felicity that i once held so precious.
sometimes i think i've lost her.
and i spend days trying not to brood over her loss.
it's a waste of time.
or is it?
i wrote this to a friend last week.
pretty much sums up my mood.
lately.