(no subject)
I have started,something.
there has always been this part of me that felt guilty and wrong whenever I would think thoughts unbecoming of a sane person.It would scream in a tiny voice that the things I was,the thing I was becoming was not right.That thinking was wrong,wrong,wrong.
And yesterday,it died.Or ceased to exist.Or stopped or sank.Or drowned.
I was in my apartment,and I was reading a book,and I can say that the book caused it.it accelerated this process that Ive been building up too.Its like being rushed to the end of a race when all the while you were walking.My mind couldnt handle it and my body couldnt handle it and I crashed,I crumbled into this blabbering mass of thoughts.I wasnt human and it was as if I was burning the core of my being.
That part of me that was my mind,the part of me that I use to explore this thing we call life suddenly became me,not just a part of me anymore.I was,in totality this thing.This nameless voice in my head that analyzes and thinks about life.I couldnt handle it.It was literally a physical reaction.I went crazy,life didnt seem real,my world didnt seem real and all that was real to me was my reflection,it was the only solid entity while everything else was blurry,like looking at a room through a window.
My conscience,my last vestige or barrier or wall or whatever you want to call it crumbled.I can slip into that place at will now.My insanity has fought its way into the pantheon of my mind.
I have started something.I am moving now whence I was once stagnant.
I dont know where I will go,or the things I will see.
But I know I am moving,in my mind I am moving.
gah,it doesnt make sense to me.I am finally fucked up.Hallelujah,Ive gone crazy.
God bless.
there has always been this part of me that felt guilty and wrong whenever I would think thoughts unbecoming of a sane person.It would scream in a tiny voice that the things I was,the thing I was becoming was not right.That thinking was wrong,wrong,wrong.
And yesterday,it died.Or ceased to exist.Or stopped or sank.Or drowned.
I was in my apartment,and I was reading a book,and I can say that the book caused it.it accelerated this process that Ive been building up too.Its like being rushed to the end of a race when all the while you were walking.My mind couldnt handle it and my body couldnt handle it and I crashed,I crumbled into this blabbering mass of thoughts.I wasnt human and it was as if I was burning the core of my being.
That part of me that was my mind,the part of me that I use to explore this thing we call life suddenly became me,not just a part of me anymore.I was,in totality this thing.This nameless voice in my head that analyzes and thinks about life.I couldnt handle it.It was literally a physical reaction.I went crazy,life didnt seem real,my world didnt seem real and all that was real to me was my reflection,it was the only solid entity while everything else was blurry,like looking at a room through a window.
My conscience,my last vestige or barrier or wall or whatever you want to call it crumbled.I can slip into that place at will now.My insanity has fought its way into the pantheon of my mind.
I have started something.I am moving now whence I was once stagnant.
I dont know where I will go,or the things I will see.
But I know I am moving,in my mind I am moving.
gah,it doesnt make sense to me.I am finally fucked up.Hallelujah,Ive gone crazy.
God bless.