[--Lost--]
You took my best friend. I'm sure you didn't know that you took the only one I could talk to. I bet you didn't really know how strong our relationship was. If you did, you wouldn't have taken him. How do you think it would feel, if you got home from work one day and mom was gone? Not so good. I know, because I came home today and my best friend was missing.
So I went to your office down stairs and you told me that it was for the best; I was getting busy and couldn't handle the responsibility. You said I didn't care about him all that much. Why was it such a big deal? If I didn't care about him all that much, why weren't my cheeks wet? If I didn't care, please tell me...why would I cry black tears? When you left for work this morning, I woke to swollen eyes and a blistering headache. I woke to a chattering bird and the nightmare began all over again. Mom tried to make me feel better. Instead, I had to reapply my makeup three times.
Thank you so much. Thank you for taking the only one who listened and listened and didn't speak or argue or complain. Thank you for making me cry in front of my friends, and, more importantly, in front of Zach. You are too lucky that I am good at handling myself in bad situations. You are lucky that I held my breath and told them that I wasn't going to cry. Zach said he would ask his mom if he could take my best friend for me. My friends told me that they were sorry, and that I was good at holding in the tears.
What no one knows--not even you--is that I am crying. I'm drowning in my own tears. My insides hurt from attempting to maintain the silence of the night...from holding my breath to keep from making any sound.
It's all on the inside, you see.. Because I won't dare let you bask in my demise. If I cried for you, on the outside, you would know. You would know that I am weak and that I cannot handle being opressed.
I cry. Believe me, I do.
So I went to your office down stairs and you told me that it was for the best; I was getting busy and couldn't handle the responsibility. You said I didn't care about him all that much. Why was it such a big deal? If I didn't care about him all that much, why weren't my cheeks wet? If I didn't care, please tell me...why would I cry black tears? When you left for work this morning, I woke to swollen eyes and a blistering headache. I woke to a chattering bird and the nightmare began all over again. Mom tried to make me feel better. Instead, I had to reapply my makeup three times.
Thank you so much. Thank you for taking the only one who listened and listened and didn't speak or argue or complain. Thank you for making me cry in front of my friends, and, more importantly, in front of Zach. You are too lucky that I am good at handling myself in bad situations. You are lucky that I held my breath and told them that I wasn't going to cry. Zach said he would ask his mom if he could take my best friend for me. My friends told me that they were sorry, and that I was good at holding in the tears.
What no one knows--not even you--is that I am crying. I'm drowning in my own tears. My insides hurt from attempting to maintain the silence of the night...from holding my breath to keep from making any sound.
It's all on the inside, you see.. Because I won't dare let you bask in my demise. If I cried for you, on the outside, you would know. You would know that I am weak and that I cannot handle being opressed.
I cry. Believe me, I do.