IM DONE WITH THE DRAMATICS
"My first best friend, the girl with the long dark hair, walked away from me when I was 12 and again when I was on the verge of 20. No relationship had been through the same amount of brutality and lies and deceit and shit talking and middle finger waving as ours had. She was a beautiful person with loose lips that sunk us. I still don't know if it was just her hostility that made her walk away the second time, or if it was genuine sincerity. But she made her point known while she was walking away, the only one who didn't leave my life silently. I guess I can credit her for that. But at the same time, getting walked away from twice is something I never imagined enduring. If they want to be gone, why can't they just stay gone."<----- this is one of the most over dramatic and one sided documentations of a friendship i have ever read. when something is gone, its gone. it takes two baby. and i hope that you get all the closure that you need by trying to be such a wordsmith. good luck with that. You do not know what its like to really, absolutely lose someone, a real bestfriend, forever. I pray to god you never have to know that grief. And one more thing PLEASE do me a favor and STOP acting so damn innocent. I've never been perfect but neither have you. Fuck your self pity its pathetic.
my moms getting surgery tomorrow. shes scared and so am i. my mother is my wings. she makes me soar above a common bound. i love her for who she raised me to be and the person she supports.
cody is redoing my grandmothers house in monrovia and will reside there with his friend kate and i still dont get his room.
the move in with arthur is soon to come.
to be cont...
& later that night...
I'm not sure if this move is something that I want all though the distance is definitely something I don't. He's all I've had for awhile he puts up with my shit and I put up with his and its all out of love. We are NOT perfect and we have never claimed to be but who really is? I would greatly appreciate everyone if they would just stop judging us, stop trying to figure us out. It is what it is. Its love. And its by no means easy. But what comes easily never stays.
Lucy drives me crazy. I should have gotten a dog.
I don't like to go out anymore because I am broke and in debt and everytime I officially "go out" I feel guilty. I'm on an anti-spend mission for however long it takes. I can't move out without paying off my loans and getting back on my feet. Adjustments they need to be constructed.
I need more sleep I feel like my lack of it effects me more than I'd like to admit. Although I do love driving in the middle of the night singing jimmy eat world and forgetting about everything.. Sometimes I wish I could drive forever.. And never look back.
FACT OF THE DAY: Everyone has their own version of how things went and why they ended up the way they did.
my moms getting surgery tomorrow. shes scared and so am i. my mother is my wings. she makes me soar above a common bound. i love her for who she raised me to be and the person she supports.
cody is redoing my grandmothers house in monrovia and will reside there with his friend kate and i still dont get his room.
the move in with arthur is soon to come.
to be cont...
& later that night...
I'm not sure if this move is something that I want all though the distance is definitely something I don't. He's all I've had for awhile he puts up with my shit and I put up with his and its all out of love. We are NOT perfect and we have never claimed to be but who really is? I would greatly appreciate everyone if they would just stop judging us, stop trying to figure us out. It is what it is. Its love. And its by no means easy. But what comes easily never stays.
Lucy drives me crazy. I should have gotten a dog.
I don't like to go out anymore because I am broke and in debt and everytime I officially "go out" I feel guilty. I'm on an anti-spend mission for however long it takes. I can't move out without paying off my loans and getting back on my feet. Adjustments they need to be constructed.
I need more sleep I feel like my lack of it effects me more than I'd like to admit. Although I do love driving in the middle of the night singing jimmy eat world and forgetting about everything.. Sometimes I wish I could drive forever.. And never look back.
FACT OF THE DAY: Everyone has their own version of how things went and why they ended up the way they did.