Guilty as charged.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm faking it all. Like...what if I'm just really good at "pretending" to love God and be infatuated by Him? Argh. Sometimes I feel as if I'm digging a grave for myself (gravedigging! =D) or something. I've been thinking about...everyone, everyone, you look so empty... even when I look at the stars.
five times eight is forty you know. seven times eight is fifty-six...why am I listening to this? xP
Rain on my hopes, rain on my soul, rain on everything that I know. It feels so ludicrous--the pursuit of this dream we thought we'd be there long ago. Ooh. Stravinsky sounds fun to play. ^^
House, M.D. is seriously awesome. Lol Enoch and I were talking about going to school with tic tacs in a prescription bottle...so we can be like house and take "Vicodin" dry. xD
Wow. o.o Wow. Levy has offered me a ride to go to the Prayer Meeting thing at 7:00AM tomorrow. I half-accepted...I feel really bad, because ...I don't know--it just seems like a huge favor! I guess I accepted it...also, I think I am a bit insecure about my friendships...I don't know if I should change that or not, or what I can do to change that. Sigh. Again, Ia;sldkjfa;lsdkfj argh. I TALK ABOUT THIS SO MUCH BUT THERE IS NO ACTION. I MUST ACT. must must must must.
actions speak louder than words.
preach. and if necessary, use words.
a;ldkfj I'm so mad at myself...for just not following up on anything and for a;sldkjf. I feel so ehh. I don't know. sigh. I'll go do econ/spanish/yeah. such a disappointment to myself. a failure. and yet I do nothing.
How confusing. The minimal length of these paragraphs is a bit vexing, but it should be okay. a;sdjfk;laskd you know what...maybe...;asldkfja;dlkj I just haven't really been in communion with the Lord lately. Argh...WHYYYYYYYY THIS MAKES ME SO MAD THAT I'M NOT WILLING TO SET ASIDE TIME FOR SOMEONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LORD OF MY LIFE. ;ALSKDJF;ALDSKFJ WHO AM I TO NOT DO THAT...DO I EVEN LOVE GOD?!??! woeiptwueosid. I really believe that I do...because if I didn't, I wouldn't care about that I'm not setting aside time for Him, but am I believing the truth? Am I in denial that I really am not loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength? I think I am.
Judge: You have broken the greatest commandment.
Me: Your honor, I believe you speak the truth.
Judge: Guilty as charged!
Why should anyone care? I am not just a man fast and lost in this world, lost in a sea of faces. I am loved by God. yet somehow You still find the time for me it's then You then you show me Your love. In your arms, I will beee yeah-ah. It's official: I've made a cuckold out of God--through House, friends, Piper, food, sleep, et al. as;ldkf;jaslk.
BUT IF I KEEP ON SITTING HERE MOPING, NOTHING WILL CHANGE. I MUST GET UP, DUST MYSELF OFF, AND FACE THESE CHALLENGES AND STEADFASTLY CHASE AFTER HIS HEART.
Argh. So much of what happens is so superficial...it's kind of annoying, I guess...but then, I think Tim said this once, after youth group or something, like, "So what do you expect us to do after the message? There's not much else you can do besides hang out" Same situation here. There's a place for superficiality and a place for sincerity and depth. You need the superficiality to initially establish common ground, which may lead to a deeper relationship, may not. I want to say "it's all fate," but I don't think that's true. But...I do believe there is an element of fate to it...like some people just "click," whereas others it's just like...ehh odd or difficult to become friends/talk...
I'm cold. I need like an uber portable heat dish. ^^
a;sldkfj. why am I freezing all the time? =( Okay...I still have Spanish and Economics. Wow. I hope I can do this...
You're all I want. Help me know You are near.
~chasing, chasing, chasing, dashing, dashing, dashing, caught.
five times eight is forty you know. seven times eight is fifty-six...why am I listening to this? xP
Rain on my hopes, rain on my soul, rain on everything that I know. It feels so ludicrous--the pursuit of this dream we thought we'd be there long ago. Ooh. Stravinsky sounds fun to play. ^^
House, M.D. is seriously awesome. Lol Enoch and I were talking about going to school with tic tacs in a prescription bottle...so we can be like house and take "Vicodin" dry. xD
Wow. o.o Wow. Levy has offered me a ride to go to the Prayer Meeting thing at 7:00AM tomorrow. I half-accepted...I feel really bad, because ...I don't know--it just seems like a huge favor! I guess I accepted it...also, I think I am a bit insecure about my friendships...I don't know if I should change that or not, or what I can do to change that. Sigh. Again, Ia;sldkjfa;lsdkfj argh. I TALK ABOUT THIS SO MUCH BUT THERE IS NO ACTION. I MUST ACT. must must must must.
actions speak louder than words.
preach. and if necessary, use words.
a;ldkfj I'm so mad at myself...for just not following up on anything and for a;sldkjf. I feel so ehh. I don't know. sigh. I'll go do econ/spanish/yeah. such a disappointment to myself. a failure. and yet I do nothing.
How confusing. The minimal length of these paragraphs is a bit vexing, but it should be okay. a;sdjfk;laskd you know what...maybe...;asldkfja;dlkj I just haven't really been in communion with the Lord lately. Argh...WHYYYYYYYY THIS MAKES ME SO MAD THAT I'M NOT WILLING TO SET ASIDE TIME FOR SOMEONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LORD OF MY LIFE. ;ALSKDJF;ALDSKFJ WHO AM I TO NOT DO THAT...DO I EVEN LOVE GOD?!??! woeiptwueosid. I really believe that I do...because if I didn't, I wouldn't care about that I'm not setting aside time for Him, but am I believing the truth? Am I in denial that I really am not loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength? I think I am.
Judge: You have broken the greatest commandment.
Me: Your honor, I believe you speak the truth.
Judge: Guilty as charged!
Why should anyone care? I am not just a man fast and lost in this world, lost in a sea of faces. I am loved by God. yet somehow You still find the time for me it's then You then you show me Your love. In your arms, I will beee yeah-ah. It's official: I've made a cuckold out of God--through House, friends, Piper, food, sleep, et al. as;ldkf;jaslk.
BUT IF I KEEP ON SITTING HERE MOPING, NOTHING WILL CHANGE. I MUST GET UP, DUST MYSELF OFF, AND FACE THESE CHALLENGES AND STEADFASTLY CHASE AFTER HIS HEART.
Argh. So much of what happens is so superficial...it's kind of annoying, I guess...but then, I think Tim said this once, after youth group or something, like, "So what do you expect us to do after the message? There's not much else you can do besides hang out" Same situation here. There's a place for superficiality and a place for sincerity and depth. You need the superficiality to initially establish common ground, which may lead to a deeper relationship, may not. I want to say "it's all fate," but I don't think that's true. But...I do believe there is an element of fate to it...like some people just "click," whereas others it's just like...ehh odd or difficult to become friends/talk...
I'm cold. I need like an uber portable heat dish. ^^
a;sldkfj. why am I freezing all the time? =( Okay...I still have Spanish and Economics. Wow. I hope I can do this...
You're all I want. Help me know You are near.
~chasing, chasing, chasing, dashing, dashing, dashing, caught.