(no subject)

[prairiewildrose]

My heart is breaking, smashed into a million little pieces. Every once in a while I am a real idiot, I fall for it, and I get very very hurt. I have 2 other children who are older, 10 and 13. My ex, was a malicious asshole, as much as I took the highroad, he took the ditch. He systematically pressued and eventually brainwashed my children until they had nothing else to do with me, as you may know in a court of law that can count as a status quo. It is psychologically called parental alienation Now after years of rallying in the new DSM V it is recognized as a real mental issue and grounds to remove children under emotional abuse, back then it wasnt. I take great pride that I had something to do with the changes. Long story short when court time came, my ex was unlikely to win mobility becasue there was 1 child who still had a relationship he met a vile woman from the internet and married her he wanted to move there. I ran a big risk the courts would say ok well he has made provisions for the youngest to have access, enforceable ya right. He offered me custody of the youngest in exchange for mobility. You have to understand the 2 children were being harassed hounded, punished anytime the did even recognize me as their mother and eventually they caved it was easier to go with it then to fight it. My thinking was Solomons wisdom..If I let them go, maybe they will finally be free from the harassment pressure and could be normal regular little girls. My daughter, the one with me is so strong minded, she knew right from wrong, she knew i wasnt the monster portrayed, and she wanted out of the harassment, but by doing so she lost her father and 2 sisters. Normally I block the emails I have learned them to be hurtful mean and malicous, but today I received one from my oldest daughter and instead of deleting, I read it, I live for the hope that one day she will remember but it was an email with an attachment of what I have to assume was a fat woman, as her email talked about remembering me this big ect ect. Due to my linus system I was unable to view. I wrote back and said i couldnt view but if she wanted to know Yes I was still big, but was working out 4 days a week and had long dark hair. The reply was a bunch of crap about how whatever I was doing wasnt working becasue they had heard from others how terrible looking I was. Ok button pushing i know, yet I got really upset, my heart breaks thinking about her being raised in a household of hatred and intolerance. I was going to shoot off a reply to that effect before MD yanked me off the computer.

I have struggled with right and wrong, my daughter had a relationship with his parents,a nd I continued to allow it, even though they were a major contributor to his success. Eearlier this year there was a blowup and he threatened to try to get his parents rights to my daughter, while all they time they said they had no contact, well stupid stupid me believe it, and it could be true, but he gets info from somewhere. I dont want to take the highroad anymore It became apparent in March they may have been taking me for a fool and I have struggled with the sense of my daughter deserves her grandparents but also they can be a harm to her as well. Even though there has been 3 years wihtout incidence since the episode in March my gut has been on alert. I thinkt he less she has to do with them the better and we may be better off, It may be better to focus on the good things in our lives the good people a possible move and school change, I may even change my phone number and block all their emails, just go on in our own little happiness. All I know right now is my heart is shattered