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I've been very much a homebody the last week or so, I can't decide if I like it or not. It's very unusual for me to spend a full day at home and not really notice or mind, but that's what I've been doing the last few days. I went out yesterday only to buy groceries with Chloe at around 8:30 and today only to grab some last minute things for dinner (garlic bread should always be made with white flour. I couldn't get behind the whole wheat stuff I bought). I'd planned on going out tonight, and I want to, because DJ Classe is spinning at the club and he's phenomenal, but part of me just wants to stay home and read or watch TV. We don't have cable, but god help me if we did LOL. I guess I'm just finally settling down after the last year, it's basically been non-stop go go go. I'm sure if Caroline could read this she'd be all like "but she never wanted to stay home when we were together. That's all I wanted. See, we COULD have been together" hahahahahaha, NO! I like that I get to chose to stay home, that I'm not being forced too. And I like being at home ALONE not having someone talking at me all the time about how terrible they feel, and then ragging on what a terrible person I am if I want some alone time.
It would be nice to have a girlfriend though. I'm not getting too worked up about it though, I'm kind of enjoying being single. It's pretty much only the physical stuff I miss, not even just the sex, but the hugs and having someone to sleep next to and cuddle with on the couch. And my girlfriends can fill that need for me, so really, what am I complaining about. I think the reason I hate being single has more to do with a fear that I'm ALWAYS going to be single than me being uphappy that I'm single now, if that makes sense.
I just feel like I've changed so much in the last month or so, I don't know if this is really me, or if I'm just going crazy now that I'm off my meds... ok, that's probably not it. more likely I'm just finally myself again and I don't know how to handle this newer complicated me becuase the meds kept me so sedated.
Alright, it's 7:40. I'm going to go start thinking about getting dressed and going out. It's Glenda's birthday tonight, gotta celebrate!
It would be nice to have a girlfriend though. I'm not getting too worked up about it though, I'm kind of enjoying being single. It's pretty much only the physical stuff I miss, not even just the sex, but the hugs and having someone to sleep next to and cuddle with on the couch. And my girlfriends can fill that need for me, so really, what am I complaining about. I think the reason I hate being single has more to do with a fear that I'm ALWAYS going to be single than me being uphappy that I'm single now, if that makes sense.
I just feel like I've changed so much in the last month or so, I don't know if this is really me, or if I'm just going crazy now that I'm off my meds... ok, that's probably not it. more likely I'm just finally myself again and I don't know how to handle this newer complicated me becuase the meds kept me so sedated.
Alright, it's 7:40. I'm going to go start thinking about getting dressed and going out. It's Glenda's birthday tonight, gotta celebrate!