(no subject)

[praenomenepoch]

my best friend is asleep on my futon, and i'm still awake of course, mainly because i slept from 11am-530pm today...this past week has taught me quite a few things, and has given me some insight on how to live my next week, and every other afterwords. in the past while i learned how to get excited about a person in a way that has been alien to me for some time. i also learned that people can be inconsiderate, self disposed, and not give a fuck, but hey i do that all the time myself, so why should i get bothered by that. in retrospect, i'd rather cherise an element of my life, as opposed to scorn it for it's lack of longevity. the only way a person can actually lose out on an exceptional moment in their lives is if they focus on the fact it's now gone, as opposed to resting their focus on the idea that a good moment happened in the first place. so as a potentially futile gesture, "thanks for the moment friend, goodbye".

i feel like this loop of uncertainty and foresight i've been running for years on end now is breaking off into all these exit ramps.
i can leave now...

i'm laughing to myself right now, feeling as manic as the winds of a storm. yet i have no rain or destruction to bare this time, just some fluctuate expository feelings, and a want to tell each and everyone i've looked in the eyes in my life that i love them...for one reason or another.

sean...stop listening to glenn branca and go to bed...it makes you a giddy, thougthful, and oft frightening mess.