Never been Marcused.
Dear everyone, ever-- I found this [Names have been edited for the sake of the Internet]:
I like a boy (I think I'll call him X for immediacy and simplicity's sake).
I made a couple of promises to myself after I decided me and Harris/Chuck Bass were no more (even though I still haven't told him that, though I guess it doesn't matter since the most recent interaction we had was him sending me a WILDLY inappropriate facebook message about my breasts yesterday). I will now hold him (and any subsequent crushes) to the following standards:
1. You must be someone my friends like. (X: 1; Harris/every other guy I've ever so much as looked at: 0)
2. Please do not be an alcoholic. (X: 1; Harris: 0)
3. No more people who need to be institutionalized for any kind of severe emotional/chemical dependence problems. (X: 1; Harris/most of the other ones: 0)
4. If you have any kind of freaky-sex-picture-taking things, I'd like to NOT be involved in them THE FIRST TIME WE HOOK UP. (X: 1; Harris: 0)
5. DO NOT BE HARRIS/CHUCK BASS. (X: 1; Harris: 0)
So, that looks like a good start. The only thing is, I totes can't get a read on whether or not he's into it. I feel bad because I was soooooo drunk and I feel like I made a mess of things. And now I am SO AWKWARD. And I don't want to get all hyperanalytical, but seriously, I feel so messed up about this.
--
I wrote this in April of 2006. What is weird is, if you sub in "Lord Marcus" for "X" and sub in "Harris" for "Harris," all of this is EXACTLY TRUE RIGHT NOW. I was so convinced I didn't have a metaphor/analogy/"all just a little bit of history repeating" for this one (even calling him Lord Marcus is kind of a stretch, since Blair at least got to DATE the dude) but...look! It's the SAME THING! Again! THIS HAPPENED ALREADY!
Answer: Lord Marcus? Is gay.
Le sigh. No, the real answer is Lord Marcus has an Emo McMySpace somewhere and soon enough I will be under rock bottom and fifty feet of crap. Homegirl didn't really look like an Emo McMySpace, but she didn't have any makeup on, so I guess it's still possible. Isn't this just kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
xoxo
bcw
I like a boy (I think I'll call him X for immediacy and simplicity's sake).
I made a couple of promises to myself after I decided me and Harris/Chuck Bass were no more (even though I still haven't told him that, though I guess it doesn't matter since the most recent interaction we had was him sending me a WILDLY inappropriate facebook message about my breasts yesterday). I will now hold him (and any subsequent crushes) to the following standards:
1. You must be someone my friends like. (X: 1; Harris/every other guy I've ever so much as looked at: 0)
2. Please do not be an alcoholic. (X: 1; Harris: 0)
3. No more people who need to be institutionalized for any kind of severe emotional/chemical dependence problems. (X: 1; Harris/most of the other ones: 0)
4. If you have any kind of freaky-sex-picture-taking things, I'd like to NOT be involved in them THE FIRST TIME WE HOOK UP. (X: 1; Harris: 0)
5. DO NOT BE HARRIS/CHUCK BASS. (X: 1; Harris: 0)
So, that looks like a good start. The only thing is, I totes can't get a read on whether or not he's into it. I feel bad because I was soooooo drunk and I feel like I made a mess of things. And now I am SO AWKWARD. And I don't want to get all hyperanalytical, but seriously, I feel so messed up about this.
--
I wrote this in April of 2006. What is weird is, if you sub in "Lord Marcus" for "X" and sub in "Harris" for "Harris," all of this is EXACTLY TRUE RIGHT NOW. I was so convinced I didn't have a metaphor/analogy/"all just a little bit of history repeating" for this one (even calling him Lord Marcus is kind of a stretch, since Blair at least got to DATE the dude) but...look! It's the SAME THING! Again! THIS HAPPENED ALREADY!
Answer: Lord Marcus? Is gay.
Le sigh. No, the real answer is Lord Marcus has an Emo McMySpace somewhere and soon enough I will be under rock bottom and fifty feet of crap. Homegirl didn't really look like an Emo McMySpace, but she didn't have any makeup on, so I guess it's still possible. Isn't this just kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
xoxo
bcw