Larsen, HELP
Ok then, here is my problem : In the second installment of Larsen, I've jumped ahead about two months after the first one. In the first, the main character Larsen made some resolutions, in this one we see him in a very sad state. He is on the verge really, if not by his own doing, then by the organization he belongs to named the Merchants and Traffickers Guild. Most of the Guild's actions are legal, atleast the ones anyone ever hears about, as a necessity they have a band of assassins that function as the enforcers of the "laws and regulations" put in place by the Guild. One officer of the Guild can do the work of twenty regular men, they have gadgets and such as well as being very proficient in the martial arts as well as stealth. While their titles infer a certian aspect of their jobs, it is but one of those, they are the muscle so to speak..... The main quasi-evil opposing force in the story is called....oddly enough, the Force. The Force is a military organization that sees the Guild as a major thorn in the side, and a major supplier of the crime they intend to police. Larsen was once in the Force, mainly as an act of youthful foolishness.
He participated in a few things he wasn't proud of and some he cant remember, therefore, he withdrew. The only place for a man of his "talents" to turn to was the Guild, so you now see where he stands. Also, the Guild is a very secretive organization, and therefore you cant really quit but one way...rotting in a ditch somewhere.
Now then, what I need help with is transition. From the dialog you can tell that on the way back from the first part's mission, Breadon did something to put larsen in a tight spot. He's been accused of a crime or two and got the crap knocked out of him by that chick. The Guild has lost faith in his abilities, and has more or less put him on hiatus until they decide what to do with him. Their decisions are being fueled by Breadon's testimonies, for an upstart, she has an awful lot of power and say in the inner workings of the Guild. Larsen has began to pick up on this and is trying to think of why it was him she was paired with, by direct order of the highest ranking official, the Marshall. ***Which reminds me, I need to post some changes to the first part***
What I need is, a way to get from "damn she got me" to "now I have a way to get her back for it"......I know where I want to go with it, but I'm missing something and i'm not sure what. I've introduced another character, who is a figure from Larsen's past. General Sorensa, a retired Force agent who needed work much like Larsen did, and with some hard feelings toward the Force. In lieu of posting the entire thing, just message me, or comment on here and I'll send you the portions in question...I'll really appreciate the insight, so please HELP :D
He participated in a few things he wasn't proud of and some he cant remember, therefore, he withdrew. The only place for a man of his "talents" to turn to was the Guild, so you now see where he stands. Also, the Guild is a very secretive organization, and therefore you cant really quit but one way...rotting in a ditch somewhere.
Now then, what I need help with is transition. From the dialog you can tell that on the way back from the first part's mission, Breadon did something to put larsen in a tight spot. He's been accused of a crime or two and got the crap knocked out of him by that chick. The Guild has lost faith in his abilities, and has more or less put him on hiatus until they decide what to do with him. Their decisions are being fueled by Breadon's testimonies, for an upstart, she has an awful lot of power and say in the inner workings of the Guild. Larsen has began to pick up on this and is trying to think of why it was him she was paired with, by direct order of the highest ranking official, the Marshall. ***Which reminds me, I need to post some changes to the first part***
What I need is, a way to get from "damn she got me" to "now I have a way to get her back for it"......I know where I want to go with it, but I'm missing something and i'm not sure what. I've introduced another character, who is a figure from Larsen's past. General Sorensa, a retired Force agent who needed work much like Larsen did, and with some hard feelings toward the Force. In lieu of posting the entire thing, just message me, or comment on here and I'll send you the portions in question...I'll really appreciate the insight, so please HELP :D