Conflagration....
No real meaning behind the title....just a word I like in both meaning and sound :D. Now, lets get down to it. It has been six weeks since my last post....rediculous. I need to treat this as just what it is, a distraction, a time for me to think what I want to think, and get it out in a cathardic means. I've tried four times atleast in those six weeks to write some kind of followup on a previous entry, but nothing came to mind. I have some of Larsen pt duex done, but its as of yet not post worthy, and I havent made much of an effort to make it that way. I am in dire need of a, not to sound redundant..., a distraction. A real distraction though, not just writing a page or so every now and again. Books are great, games are fun, and movies are momentarily satisfying. But one thing I have never had in my life ( in any real sense of the idea) "love". Some great thing that draws me in and doesn't let go. The superficial meaning is, of course, a woman. But as of right now I'm not so sure of the possibility or necessity of that. I'm a bum, I have no job, no degree, and no inspiration. I've always been a slacker, skimming along, never really having to "try" to get things done. I blame my parents for this (in a good way). I was no where near spoiled, I was whipped when I needed it, and taught values. I learn by observation, silently, and when it comes time to have the answer, I usually do. I have a rock solid memory, once through and its in stone. But I have nothing to show for it. All my attempts seem thwarted by a supernatural hand, doomed to fail from the begining. Pessimistic, I realize, but its hard not to be. I'm not done on this rant, but I need to do some things, so I'll finish later...No promises, when ever I get around to it ;)