Kanye/Justin Vernon (Or, what happens when Verbyna and I talk)...
A not!fic for the ages...
Emma Scatterbrain 5:50 pm
Ryan and Gabe - you guys have totally forced a new pairing on me. God. Plato and paisley.
(Kanye West has to be thrown in somehow. He is like the doucheyish hipster douchebag out there)
(Maybe Kanye/Justin vernon)
verbyna 5:51 pm
(I have an @kanyewest quote as my Facebook description)
Kanye/Justin Vernon is for the win!!!
Emma Scatterbrain 5:52 pm
!!! Kanye and his fendi and Justin and his log cabin!!!
verbyna 5:52 pm
oh my god, I am picturing it, it is fabulous
Emma Scatterbrain 5:53 pm
how could it be anything but? Kanye would be all fur coats and ego and Justin would have mono and be *thoughtful*
verbyna 5:54 pm
And maybe there's no phone reception and Kanye couldn't tweet and he would start to write 140 characters down and Justin would read them after a few days and suggest Kanye should write a book
and it would turn out to be halfway decent
it would be about the end of civilisation
and squirrels
and it would have a lot of precious metals metaphors
Emma Scatterbrain 5:59 pm
and the main character would die halfway through and then be reborn at the end. And maybe the main character is himself? (Okay, no maybe). But the character who fills in while the Kanye/Jesus-esque chracter is dead is Justin. Justin as a female resistance fighter.
verbyna 6:00 pm
<3333333
Emma Scatterbrain 6:00 pm
(Justin writes a song about Denver after he reads it)
verbyna 6:00 pm
(of course he does)
Emma Scatterbrain 6:02 pm
(and it is glorious and sweet and sad and he plays all the intruments and self records it on a tape deck recorder thingy from 1981)
verbyna 6:02 pm
(which Kanye bedazzled and decorated with strips of fur from one of his hats)
Emma Scatterbrain 6:06 pm
(of course. Kanye is generous to a fault. Justin is a lucky guy to have Kanye in his life).
verbyna 6:07 pm
*cracking up*
and Justin could show Kanye how to comfortably sleep of fur pillows. Kanye would write a whole chapter about that from a squirrel's perspective, right before the resurrection.
verbyna 6:08 pm
sleep on*
Emma Scatterbrain 6:09 pm
Kanye is very method.
It makes everything he does more authentic
verbyna 6:09 pm
He's such a genuine guy, Justin agrees
It's part of why they work so well together
Emma Scatterbrain 6:12 pm
(In my head I'm imagining a 90s odd-couple rom-com where Justin and Kanye go down to Justin's log cabin and there are shinanagains and hilarious interludes where Kanye interacts with wildlife and locals, while Justin is at one with nature and maybe wears gumboots and plaid)
(maybe lupe fiasco turns up right when Kanye is on the verge of giving in and going in search of salvation (aka the nearest LV/Fendi/Gucci store)
verbyna 6:15 pm
(That is exactly what I was imagining. It could also take place in Wisconsin close to Andy Hurley and Mixon's compound, aka Fuck City, and they would try to convert Kanye and Justin and Lupe to veganism and savagism)
(It would not go well)
Emma Scatterbrain 6:15 pm
(No. It wouldn't. Kanye can't part with his furs, man! They are his children!)
(His very extensive, very soft, and very fashionable children)
expensive*
verbyna 6:16 pm
*cracking up so hard*
Emma Scatterbrain 6:16 pm
*me too*
Emma Scatterbrain 6:18 pm
And Andy! He totally is disaproving so hard. The animals! (he would do what my bff does and try to show Kanye PETA videos of animals being skinned alive in the making of Kanye's fur coat/scarves/hats/socks)
verbyna 6:19 pm
And Justin would be like, we just slaughtered a goat the other day! It was organic. (Actually, he slaughtered it while Kanye worked on his novel and searched for herbs for the steak his ex taught him to cook.)
Emma Scatterbrain 6:20 pm
Andy's face would go white and Mix (is that his name?) would wiggle his eyebrows to try and tell them to stop speaking.
verbyna 6:21 pm
It would be aful. I just had a mental image of Andy doing his morning training and running into Kanye who's wearing clothes so loud that the animals are hiding
And Andy would jog in place and stare and then do stretches while lecturing Kanye on clothes, and Kanye would remind him that they both know Pete Wentz
so Andy has no room to talk
awful*
Emma Scatterbrain 6:23 pm
(Kanye's work out gear would be made out of fur. And vintage 80s neon work out gear. And diamonds.)
verbyna 6:23 pm
And oh! Andy would say that he's tweeting Pete about this! And Kanye would tell him that he's post-Twitter, he's writing a novel! And Pete Wentz would tell the WORLD
Emma Scatterbrain 6:23 pm
Twitter is so 2010
Novels are the new twitter
Pete would tell everyone!
And their moms
verbyna 6:24 pm
Oh man, Kanye's mom coming to pick him up because she just doesn't know who he is anymore
But she would see what he did to the cabin and be reassured
Emma Scatterbrain 6:26 pm
It would be all lux and logo's and then Justin would make her organic tea in a mug he found in a flea market in Canada.
verbyna 6:26 pm
<3333
Andy would drop by with vegan cookies to Show Them The Way
and he'd get along with Kanye's mom
Emma Scatterbrain 6:28 pm
The cookie's would have bits of stuff that look like bark and/or twigs in them.
Kanye's mom would be so happy her son has made a friend.
(he had a difficult childhood. he was sensative)
verbyna 6:29 pm
I have so much love for this whole loltastic 'verse now
Emma Scatterbrain 6:29 pm
me too
it's all my favourite things and people all in one 'verse.
Emma Scatterbrain 5:50 pm
Ryan and Gabe - you guys have totally forced a new pairing on me. God. Plato and paisley.
(Kanye West has to be thrown in somehow. He is like the doucheyish hipster douchebag out there)
(Maybe Kanye/Justin vernon)
verbyna 5:51 pm
(I have an @kanyewest quote as my Facebook description)
Kanye/Justin Vernon is for the win!!!
Emma Scatterbrain 5:52 pm
!!! Kanye and his fendi and Justin and his log cabin!!!
verbyna 5:52 pm
oh my god, I am picturing it, it is fabulous
Emma Scatterbrain 5:53 pm
how could it be anything but? Kanye would be all fur coats and ego and Justin would have mono and be *thoughtful*
verbyna 5:54 pm
And maybe there's no phone reception and Kanye couldn't tweet and he would start to write 140 characters down and Justin would read them after a few days and suggest Kanye should write a book
and it would turn out to be halfway decent
it would be about the end of civilisation
and squirrels
and it would have a lot of precious metals metaphors
Emma Scatterbrain 5:59 pm
and the main character would die halfway through and then be reborn at the end. And maybe the main character is himself? (Okay, no maybe). But the character who fills in while the Kanye/Jesus-esque chracter is dead is Justin. Justin as a female resistance fighter.
verbyna 6:00 pm
<3333333
Emma Scatterbrain 6:00 pm
(Justin writes a song about Denver after he reads it)
verbyna 6:00 pm
(of course he does)
Emma Scatterbrain 6:02 pm
(and it is glorious and sweet and sad and he plays all the intruments and self records it on a tape deck recorder thingy from 1981)
verbyna 6:02 pm
(which Kanye bedazzled and decorated with strips of fur from one of his hats)
Emma Scatterbrain 6:06 pm
(of course. Kanye is generous to a fault. Justin is a lucky guy to have Kanye in his life).
verbyna 6:07 pm
*cracking up*
and Justin could show Kanye how to comfortably sleep of fur pillows. Kanye would write a whole chapter about that from a squirrel's perspective, right before the resurrection.
verbyna 6:08 pm
sleep on*
Emma Scatterbrain 6:09 pm
Kanye is very method.
It makes everything he does more authentic
verbyna 6:09 pm
He's such a genuine guy, Justin agrees
It's part of why they work so well together
Emma Scatterbrain 6:12 pm
(In my head I'm imagining a 90s odd-couple rom-com where Justin and Kanye go down to Justin's log cabin and there are shinanagains and hilarious interludes where Kanye interacts with wildlife and locals, while Justin is at one with nature and maybe wears gumboots and plaid)
(maybe lupe fiasco turns up right when Kanye is on the verge of giving in and going in search of salvation (aka the nearest LV/Fendi/Gucci store)
verbyna 6:15 pm
(That is exactly what I was imagining. It could also take place in Wisconsin close to Andy Hurley and Mixon's compound, aka Fuck City, and they would try to convert Kanye and Justin and Lupe to veganism and savagism)
(It would not go well)
Emma Scatterbrain 6:15 pm
(No. It wouldn't. Kanye can't part with his furs, man! They are his children!)
(His very extensive, very soft, and very fashionable children)
expensive*
verbyna 6:16 pm
*cracking up so hard*
Emma Scatterbrain 6:16 pm
*me too*
Emma Scatterbrain 6:18 pm
And Andy! He totally is disaproving so hard. The animals! (he would do what my bff does and try to show Kanye PETA videos of animals being skinned alive in the making of Kanye's fur coat/scarves/hats/socks)
verbyna 6:19 pm
And Justin would be like, we just slaughtered a goat the other day! It was organic. (Actually, he slaughtered it while Kanye worked on his novel and searched for herbs for the steak his ex taught him to cook.)
Emma Scatterbrain 6:20 pm
Andy's face would go white and Mix (is that his name?) would wiggle his eyebrows to try and tell them to stop speaking.
verbyna 6:21 pm
It would be aful. I just had a mental image of Andy doing his morning training and running into Kanye who's wearing clothes so loud that the animals are hiding
And Andy would jog in place and stare and then do stretches while lecturing Kanye on clothes, and Kanye would remind him that they both know Pete Wentz
so Andy has no room to talk
awful*
Emma Scatterbrain 6:23 pm
(Kanye's work out gear would be made out of fur. And vintage 80s neon work out gear. And diamonds.)
verbyna 6:23 pm
And oh! Andy would say that he's tweeting Pete about this! And Kanye would tell him that he's post-Twitter, he's writing a novel! And Pete Wentz would tell the WORLD
Emma Scatterbrain 6:23 pm
Twitter is so 2010
Novels are the new twitter
Pete would tell everyone!
And their moms
verbyna 6:24 pm
Oh man, Kanye's mom coming to pick him up because she just doesn't know who he is anymore
But she would see what he did to the cabin and be reassured
Emma Scatterbrain 6:26 pm
It would be all lux and logo's and then Justin would make her organic tea in a mug he found in a flea market in Canada.
verbyna 6:26 pm
<3333
Andy would drop by with vegan cookies to Show Them The Way
and he'd get along with Kanye's mom
Emma Scatterbrain 6:28 pm
The cookie's would have bits of stuff that look like bark and/or twigs in them.
Kanye's mom would be so happy her son has made a friend.
(he had a difficult childhood. he was sensative)
verbyna 6:29 pm
I have so much love for this whole loltastic 'verse now
Emma Scatterbrain 6:29 pm
me too
it's all my favourite things and people all in one 'verse.