Reflections
Well, tsechink inspired me to write an entry about how I've changed from the time I started this online journal till now. I'm still not any better of a writer =P So pardon my random jumbled thoughts.
It's been 6 years and 2 days! Now I haven't gone through and read all my past entries.. because well they're really all over the place and many are incomplete and not published.. haaha *nervous laugh* anyways =P
High school was a very long time ago, which was when I made this [January 17, 2004], and I think since then I have of course changed, but yet in many ways, I've stayed the same too. Ways in which I've changed are I have different views on life, based on the experiences of those around me and my own. I've been exposed to more and worked with various kinds of people. I'm less sheltered and understand how difficult life can be, and that every decision I make may ultimately have significant impact on another. Mistakes are inevitable, and I have learned from them. They made me who I am now.
I'm still very quiet and shy around those I don't know.. and even around those I do know. I've been like this.. as far back as I can remember. I'm more of a listener than a speaker. It's very hard for me to change, which is why I don't really change much I guess. I'm also not influenced easily or give into peer pressure. The more you try, the more I won't do it and just get annoyed =P just FYI. For example, I've never seen the point in smoking, because I find it absolutely disgusting and unhealthy to the smoker and those around them as well. Sure, it can look cool sometimes, like how unbelievably sexy Keanu Reeves looked when he smoked in Constantine.. but only because it's him and I have a small thing for him, haha ^^; The smell is just ugh *shudders* not cool. It's why I don't like standing outside waiting for the bus, the smoke invades my fresh, clean air and I don't like that.
Alcohol.. never seen the point in that either. People say I'm missing out on all the fun it is, with the partying and all. I honestly don't think so.. because since I've never experienced it, how can I miss it? Drinking impairs ones judgment and causes people to do stupid, embarrassing things they could regret. This is probably the main reason why I don't want to drink.. I don't want to lose control and do something stupid. I also just can't stand the taste and how it could make me feel like ass =P I'd rather stay sober and be a fool on my own =D and remember details of events like my birthday, instead of going "I got so wasted, I can't remember a thing!" How's that fun?? How is being hung over and throwing up all night fun? I don't understand.. I suppose it relieves stress and loosens you up.. and maybe even gives you courage to do something you wouldn't do when sober.. but you'd probably go about it the wrong way anyway.
I've always been obedient, and respectful of my parents and elders. It's how I was brought up and taught. I can't stand rude people with no respect for others. I've kind of come out of my shell and disobeyed my parents in small ways, in regards to what I do with school, my life, and going/staying out later than they'd like. They just have to understand that I'm not a child anymore (though I still am in many ways, heh) and let me do things on my own. I need to learn things from the outside world they cannot teach me. I'm still trying, but I'm kind of a push over when it comes to these things.. =S Work in progress!
I have few close friends, and I prefer it that way compared to having lots of acquaintances. Those few close friends of mine have been the same people since junior high and high school; they are the ones who have always been there for me and stuck with me. I'm a very laid back person, and don't mind many things and I let a lot of the little things slide, so I have hardly ever get into arguments with anyone. I also just don't express myself often.. or well. It's difficult for me to put things into coherent sentences and open myself up to others.
I love and cherish every single person who has had a positive impact on my life, big or small, however short or long a amount of time. I don't know what I did in a past life to deserve having such wonderful individuals in my life. No matter happens in the future, the past will not change and I will not forget. I hope.. I will try my hardest.
I HEART YOU, MY LJ FRIENDS <3 !
I'll also try to use this LJ more.. and be less lazy. I have an actual paper journal that I keep up with more, but it only stores highlights whereas it seems I used LJ for angry rants.. haa ha.. =)
It's been 6 years and 2 days! Now I haven't gone through and read all my past entries.. because well they're really all over the place and many are incomplete and not published.. haaha *nervous laugh* anyways =P
High school was a very long time ago, which was when I made this [January 17, 2004], and I think since then I have of course changed, but yet in many ways, I've stayed the same too. Ways in which I've changed are I have different views on life, based on the experiences of those around me and my own. I've been exposed to more and worked with various kinds of people. I'm less sheltered and understand how difficult life can be, and that every decision I make may ultimately have significant impact on another. Mistakes are inevitable, and I have learned from them. They made me who I am now.
I'm still very quiet and shy around those I don't know.. and even around those I do know. I've been like this.. as far back as I can remember. I'm more of a listener than a speaker. It's very hard for me to change, which is why I don't really change much I guess. I'm also not influenced easily or give into peer pressure. The more you try, the more I won't do it and just get annoyed =P just FYI. For example, I've never seen the point in smoking, because I find it absolutely disgusting and unhealthy to the smoker and those around them as well. Sure, it can look cool sometimes, like how unbelievably sexy Keanu Reeves looked when he smoked in Constantine.. but only because it's him and I have a small thing for him, haha ^^; The smell is just ugh *shudders* not cool. It's why I don't like standing outside waiting for the bus, the smoke invades my fresh, clean air and I don't like that.
Alcohol.. never seen the point in that either. People say I'm missing out on all the fun it is, with the partying and all. I honestly don't think so.. because since I've never experienced it, how can I miss it? Drinking impairs ones judgment and causes people to do stupid, embarrassing things they could regret. This is probably the main reason why I don't want to drink.. I don't want to lose control and do something stupid. I also just can't stand the taste and how it could make me feel like ass =P I'd rather stay sober and be a fool on my own =D and remember details of events like my birthday, instead of going "I got so wasted, I can't remember a thing!" How's that fun?? How is being hung over and throwing up all night fun? I don't understand.. I suppose it relieves stress and loosens you up.. and maybe even gives you courage to do something you wouldn't do when sober.. but you'd probably go about it the wrong way anyway.
I've always been obedient, and respectful of my parents and elders. It's how I was brought up and taught. I can't stand rude people with no respect for others. I've kind of come out of my shell and disobeyed my parents in small ways, in regards to what I do with school, my life, and going/staying out later than they'd like. They just have to understand that I'm not a child anymore (though I still am in many ways, heh) and let me do things on my own. I need to learn things from the outside world they cannot teach me. I'm still trying, but I'm kind of a push over when it comes to these things.. =S Work in progress!
I have few close friends, and I prefer it that way compared to having lots of acquaintances. Those few close friends of mine have been the same people since junior high and high school; they are the ones who have always been there for me and stuck with me. I'm a very laid back person, and don't mind many things and I let a lot of the little things slide, so I have hardly ever get into arguments with anyone. I also just don't express myself often.. or well. It's difficult for me to put things into coherent sentences and open myself up to others.
I love and cherish every single person who has had a positive impact on my life, big or small, however short or long a amount of time. I don't know what I did in a past life to deserve having such wonderful individuals in my life. No matter happens in the future, the past will not change and I will not forget. I hope.. I will try my hardest.
I HEART YOU, MY LJ FRIENDS <3 !
I'll also try to use this LJ more.. and be less lazy. I have an actual paper journal that I keep up with more, but it only stores highlights whereas it seems I used LJ for angry rants.. haa ha.. =)