Fic: Bah Humbug, McKay/Sheppard, PG-13
Title: Bah Humbug
Author: pqueen
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13
Summary: John's humming sets Rodney off on a mission
Rodney frowned when he heard John humming. He recognized the song, but he wasn't sure where from. It kept nagging at him during the entire walk to the village. Eventually, as they all got involved in their various tasks, he forgot all about the song. At least until they were heading back to the Jumper. John was humming another song and this one Rodney recognized - Jingle Bells.
Quickly, Rodney did the mental calculation in his head. It was the week before Christmas. He faltered for a minute and glared at John. It wasn't until John slowed down and the goofy smile left his face that Rodney realized that his frown must have been noticed.
"Problem, Rodney?"
Rodney shook his head sharply. "No problem, Colonel. I just noticed what you were humming."
"I was humming?" John asked, wrinkling his brow in confusion. "What song?"
"Jingle Bells," Rodney said. "And on the way here I think it was Rudolph."
John frowned. After a moment, his face cleared and his lips quirked. "You almost had me going, Rodney. You really could have been an actor."
"Not joking."
"He's right," Ronon put in from behind them. "I don't know what you were humming, but you were humming something."
"Huh," John said, frowning again.
They continued on in silence for a while in blissful silence. Every once in a while, Rodney would hear a faint noise from John, but the noise was quickly cut off. After the fifth time, he finally snapped.
"If you want to hum, just hum already."
"I don't," John said quickly. "It's just that Cadman was playing Christmas music yesterday."
"When were you in Cadman's room?" Rodney asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.
"I wasn't," John said and was grimacing when Rodney looked over. "She was playing it during her workout this morning. She was in such a good mood that I didn't have the heart to stop her."
"So the songs got stuck in your head," Rodney guessed and was rewarded with a nod.
"Believe me, I'm trying to get them out of my head," John said sourly.
"I wouldn't have pictured you as the Grinch type, Colonel. That's more my speed."
"Have you ever had a happy Christmas, Rodney?" John asked. He was staring straight ahead, but what Rodney could see was carefully blank.
"Not for a long time."
"But you have," John persisted.
"Back when I was on Earth and before Jeannie got married. She and I got together in between everything else we had going for a Christmas dinner. It was where I got my cat." The thought of the dinner reminded him of the work parties he'd been to and he grinned a little at the mostly-fond memories.
"Well, I've never had a happy Christmas."
"Don't tell me you're Jewish," Rodney said, hoping to get a laugh. He looked closer at John when he didn't get it. His face was still carefully blank, but Rodney could see small wrinkles around his eyes. It was a sure sign that John was stressed.
"I'm not Jewish, McKay," John said and Rodney heard the warning behind the words. Luckily, they were within eyeshot of the Jumper and Rodney used that as an excuse to let the subject drop.
***
Three days later, he'd almost forgotten about the conversation with John. Until he passed a room that nearly made him deaf. Cadman and her Christmas music. He stopped and listened to the music. What she was listening to wasn't bad. Some city's orchestra playing Carol of the Bells. He was about to move on again when the idea came into his head fully formed. He hesitated. One the one hand, John would kill him. On the other, it would probably be a good way to go out.
Eventually the song changed to Deck the Halls and Rodney made up his mind. He signaled his presence at the door and after a short delay it opened.
"McKay," Cadman said, looking surprised. "What are you doing here?"
"Surprising as it may sound," he said, shoving her aside and walking in, "I need your help."
***
"If you build it, they will come?" Radek asked.
"No, if you get it, I will play," Rodney said and scowled as Radek patted his arm.
"You are a good friend."
"This had better be appreciated," Rodney muttered and walked into the room, looking around at the assembled science team.
"What are we all doing here?" Kavanagh asked.
"Doing something for a friend," Rodney said, pointing at the assorted electronics that Ronon was bringing him in behind him. "We need to get these working before tomorrow."
Kavanagh looked in the box suspiciously. "Our valuable time is being wasted doing this?" Kavanagh asked, disbelief thick in his voice.
"Yes," Rodney snapped. "And you will sit here and be happy to help.”
"It is sweet of you, Dr. McKay," a voice said at the back and Rodney scowl deepened as he searched for Miko.
"What's sweet about it? This is meant to make you all happy."
"It is not us that you want happy," Radek murmured from behind the crowd. Rodney snorted in disgust and walked out of the room, leaving his team to their work.
***
"Dr. McKay!" Teyla called from behind him and Rodney stopped and waited for her to catch up. "I have-"
She cut off sharply and a moment later Rodney saw John walk in at the opposite end of the hallway.
"Rodney," John said when he reached them, nodding his head in acknowledgement. "Teyla? We're still on for tomorrow, right?"
"Yes, of course. Tomorrow evening. Will you meet me at my room?"
"I guess," John said, looking a little confused and Rodney panicked, hoping she had a good excuse. "Why there?"
"I have another appointment immediately before ours at my room," she said smoothly. "One that may run longer than expected if I do not get interrupted."
"Got you," John said and grinned at her.
Rodney shuffled back and forth on his feet, anxious to be away and finishing up the rest of his plans. John noticed and smirked.
"Go, both of you," John said, making a little shooing motion. Rodney took the dismissal and grabbed Teyla's arm, nearly pulling her along. Once they were out of earshot, he stopped again.
"You have what?" he asked.
"I have the plants," she said, clearly amused at his behavior. "The ones that you say look like-"
"Fine, fine," he said quickly, interrupting her. He quickly peeked around the corner. John wasn't there, but Rodney wasn't taking any chances. "Give them to Elizabeth. She's the one supervising that side of the arrangement.”
"I will see you tomorrow, then," she said, bowing her head.
"Tomorrow," he groaned and rushed away, leaving her chuckling behind him.
***
"You're a goddess, Sam," Rodney said to her over the monitor.
She smiled. "I could stand to hear that more often," she said and Rodney heard protestations from Colonel Mitchell somewhere in the background.
"You got everything?" he asked, looking over the list he'd written down.
"Everything and a little more besides. I think you may have given the idea to some of the people here, too. You should have seen Teal'c's face when he came shopping with us."
"Teal'c?" Rodney asked and immediately shook his head. "No. Don't tell me. I'm not sure I want to know. Thanks again."
"No problem. You have fun," she said. Then she winked at him. "And behave yourself."
"Oh, please, Colonel," he said and rolled his eyes.
"What's going on, Rodney?" a voice said from behind him and Rodney froze.
"He's getting some of our outdated equipment," Sam said with a barely hidden grin, saving him from having to come up with an excuse. And, on cue, the first of the boxes came through the Gate.
"Outdated and he's calling you a goddess?" There was something in John's voice and Rodney felt his gut clench.
"What can I say? I make an impression."
"Apparently," John said flatly.
"Anyway, thanks again. I'll owe you dinner next time I'm there."
"In your dreams, McKay," Sam said, rolling her eyes. Rodney felt the air behind him move as John relaxed a little.
"Right, right," Rodney said, not really paying attention to her. He shut down the video and stood up. He shifted nervously, avoiding John's eyes. "I really should go make sure those supplies are taken care of properly," he said and rushed out of the room, not giving John a chance to stop him.
***
A sharp, high scream from the observatory sent him running. The scene he walked into was something he would have expected to see on the cover of some romance novel. Elizabeth, looking very breathless, was lying in Ronon's arms and was looking up at him with affection.
"Am I interrupted anything?" Rodney said, trying very hard to hide his laughter and failing utterly.
"No, not at all," Elizabeth said. Her serious expression was completely overridden by her location in Ronon's arms. After a moment, she realized the fact and got him to let her down.
"You're not setting up everything already, are you?"
"Not yet," Elizabeth said and motioned to the plants that Teyla had gathered. "Just those so that we can get them up without being in everybody's way tomorrow."
"Oh, good," Rodney said, relieved. "I've been lucky so far and I don't want to ruin that luck."
"Don't worry so much, Rodney," Elizabeth said with what probably was supposed to be a reassuring smile. "He hasn’t found out."
"So far," he muttered, knowing that he was already jinxed.
***
"Rodney," John called and Rodney quickly did and about face and headed back the way that he'd come. He knew it was a mistake when he heard John running to catch up and felt the tight grip on his arm. He stopped and turned to face John with a sigh.
"Colonel."
"You've been avoiding me, Rodney," John said. There was an unreadable expression on his face and Rodney almost didn't want to know what John was thinking.
"No, of course not," Rodney said, looking behind John. He wanted to get out of the conversation fast, but he didn't think that John was going to take much more stalling.
"You have. I've seen you twice this week. You're hiding something."
"I told you. I've been busy."
"With secret shipments from Colonel Carter and secret meetings with Teyla. I say again. Hiding something." He looked about to continue, but something interrupted him and he cocked his head slightly. Obviously someone was talking to him over the comm... Finally, John straightened. "I have to go. But this isn't over yet, McKay."
John was obviously expected somewhere, but he was hesitating, as if waiting for Rodney to say something. He tried to think of some excuse to offer, but couldn't come up with anything.
"Look, Colonel," he said finally. "I'll tell you everything tomorrow night. After whatever plans you have with Teyla."
"I'll meet you at your room, then," John said, nodding.
"My-? Yes. Of course. My room." He determinedly did not read anything into the location of the supposed meeting. It wasn't like there'd actually be a meeting, anyway.
"Good," John said with a nod and began walking off. "Tomorrow."
"Tomorrow," Rodney said with a sigh.
***
Every five minutes, Rodney checked his watch. He kept expecting John to enter the room at any moment. The closer it came to the time that John was supposed to arrive, the more often Rodney checked the time. Eventually, it got to the point that not even a minute had passed.
"Where is he?" he muttered and his question was answered by Radek running into the room.
"They're just down the hall."
"Everyone, think 'off'," Rodney called and a split second later the lights blinked out.
The door opened and Rodney heard John question Teyla about the lights. A moment later he was almost blinded as John turned the lights on. Rodney could see the shocked question forming on John's face, but didn't give him a chance to ask it. Instead, he played the first chord on the piano and the entire room - Athosians included - burst into a rendition of We Wish You a Merry Christmas.
When they were through, Rodney looked at John carefully. He'd been very adamant that he didn't like Christmas and Rodney afraid that a party wouldn't change his mind about that. Even, or maybe especially, because the party was held in his honor.
After a while, he decided to stop being a chicken and gave the piano over to one of the marines. He made his way over to John. When he got there, he stopped, not sure what to say.
"McKay," John said quietly. "I was wondering when you were going to get here."
"I've been a little busy," Rodney said guiltily and nodded in the direction of the keyboard.
"I saw that. Not bad," he said and Rodney could tell that he was referring to the party as much as to the music. "I'm impressed you managed to pull everything together so quickly."
"It's why I haven't been around that much," Rodney said. "That and trying to make sure I didn't give away the secret."
"Hmm," John muttered noncommittally.
"There's even alcohol," Rodney said quickly, hoping to attract John's interest in something about the party. "For after the kids go to bed, of course."
"Of course," John said and Rodney began to despair, sure that his plan had gone horribly wrong. Until he saw John's lips start to curl up in a smirk. "I see you even got something else."
"What?" Rodney asked, confused. He looked around, wondering what he'd forgot to mention or what wasn't immediately obvious. Grinning wildly now, John pointed up. Dread filling him, Rodney obediently looked up and saw the fake mistletoe that Teyla had found on the mainland. "Oh."
"Yes, oh." The unreadable expression was back on John's face. "Looks like there's going to be no meeting at your room tonight. Since you've already explained why you've been missing all week."
"Right," Rodney said, feeling as if he was missing something. John just shook his head and took a step closer. Between one breath and the next, his entire life flipped itself around as he felt John's lips brush his in an entirely chaste kiss.
"Merry Christmas," John whispered and Rodney broke into a grin. Merry Christmas, indeed.
Author: pqueen
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13
Summary: John's humming sets Rodney off on a mission
Rodney frowned when he heard John humming. He recognized the song, but he wasn't sure where from. It kept nagging at him during the entire walk to the village. Eventually, as they all got involved in their various tasks, he forgot all about the song. At least until they were heading back to the Jumper. John was humming another song and this one Rodney recognized - Jingle Bells.
Quickly, Rodney did the mental calculation in his head. It was the week before Christmas. He faltered for a minute and glared at John. It wasn't until John slowed down and the goofy smile left his face that Rodney realized that his frown must have been noticed.
"Problem, Rodney?"
Rodney shook his head sharply. "No problem, Colonel. I just noticed what you were humming."
"I was humming?" John asked, wrinkling his brow in confusion. "What song?"
"Jingle Bells," Rodney said. "And on the way here I think it was Rudolph."
John frowned. After a moment, his face cleared and his lips quirked. "You almost had me going, Rodney. You really could have been an actor."
"Not joking."
"He's right," Ronon put in from behind them. "I don't know what you were humming, but you were humming something."
"Huh," John said, frowning again.
They continued on in silence for a while in blissful silence. Every once in a while, Rodney would hear a faint noise from John, but the noise was quickly cut off. After the fifth time, he finally snapped.
"If you want to hum, just hum already."
"I don't," John said quickly. "It's just that Cadman was playing Christmas music yesterday."
"When were you in Cadman's room?" Rodney asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.
"I wasn't," John said and was grimacing when Rodney looked over. "She was playing it during her workout this morning. She was in such a good mood that I didn't have the heart to stop her."
"So the songs got stuck in your head," Rodney guessed and was rewarded with a nod.
"Believe me, I'm trying to get them out of my head," John said sourly.
"I wouldn't have pictured you as the Grinch type, Colonel. That's more my speed."
"Have you ever had a happy Christmas, Rodney?" John asked. He was staring straight ahead, but what Rodney could see was carefully blank.
"Not for a long time."
"But you have," John persisted.
"Back when I was on Earth and before Jeannie got married. She and I got together in between everything else we had going for a Christmas dinner. It was where I got my cat." The thought of the dinner reminded him of the work parties he'd been to and he grinned a little at the mostly-fond memories.
"Well, I've never had a happy Christmas."
"Don't tell me you're Jewish," Rodney said, hoping to get a laugh. He looked closer at John when he didn't get it. His face was still carefully blank, but Rodney could see small wrinkles around his eyes. It was a sure sign that John was stressed.
"I'm not Jewish, McKay," John said and Rodney heard the warning behind the words. Luckily, they were within eyeshot of the Jumper and Rodney used that as an excuse to let the subject drop.
***
Three days later, he'd almost forgotten about the conversation with John. Until he passed a room that nearly made him deaf. Cadman and her Christmas music. He stopped and listened to the music. What she was listening to wasn't bad. Some city's orchestra playing Carol of the Bells. He was about to move on again when the idea came into his head fully formed. He hesitated. One the one hand, John would kill him. On the other, it would probably be a good way to go out.
Eventually the song changed to Deck the Halls and Rodney made up his mind. He signaled his presence at the door and after a short delay it opened.
"McKay," Cadman said, looking surprised. "What are you doing here?"
"Surprising as it may sound," he said, shoving her aside and walking in, "I need your help."
***
"If you build it, they will come?" Radek asked.
"No, if you get it, I will play," Rodney said and scowled as Radek patted his arm.
"You are a good friend."
"This had better be appreciated," Rodney muttered and walked into the room, looking around at the assembled science team.
"What are we all doing here?" Kavanagh asked.
"Doing something for a friend," Rodney said, pointing at the assorted electronics that Ronon was bringing him in behind him. "We need to get these working before tomorrow."
Kavanagh looked in the box suspiciously. "Our valuable time is being wasted doing this?" Kavanagh asked, disbelief thick in his voice.
"Yes," Rodney snapped. "And you will sit here and be happy to help.”
"It is sweet of you, Dr. McKay," a voice said at the back and Rodney scowl deepened as he searched for Miko.
"What's sweet about it? This is meant to make you all happy."
"It is not us that you want happy," Radek murmured from behind the crowd. Rodney snorted in disgust and walked out of the room, leaving his team to their work.
***
"Dr. McKay!" Teyla called from behind him and Rodney stopped and waited for her to catch up. "I have-"
She cut off sharply and a moment later Rodney saw John walk in at the opposite end of the hallway.
"Rodney," John said when he reached them, nodding his head in acknowledgement. "Teyla? We're still on for tomorrow, right?"
"Yes, of course. Tomorrow evening. Will you meet me at my room?"
"I guess," John said, looking a little confused and Rodney panicked, hoping she had a good excuse. "Why there?"
"I have another appointment immediately before ours at my room," she said smoothly. "One that may run longer than expected if I do not get interrupted."
"Got you," John said and grinned at her.
Rodney shuffled back and forth on his feet, anxious to be away and finishing up the rest of his plans. John noticed and smirked.
"Go, both of you," John said, making a little shooing motion. Rodney took the dismissal and grabbed Teyla's arm, nearly pulling her along. Once they were out of earshot, he stopped again.
"You have what?" he asked.
"I have the plants," she said, clearly amused at his behavior. "The ones that you say look like-"
"Fine, fine," he said quickly, interrupting her. He quickly peeked around the corner. John wasn't there, but Rodney wasn't taking any chances. "Give them to Elizabeth. She's the one supervising that side of the arrangement.”
"I will see you tomorrow, then," she said, bowing her head.
"Tomorrow," he groaned and rushed away, leaving her chuckling behind him.
***
"You're a goddess, Sam," Rodney said to her over the monitor.
She smiled. "I could stand to hear that more often," she said and Rodney heard protestations from Colonel Mitchell somewhere in the background.
"You got everything?" he asked, looking over the list he'd written down.
"Everything and a little more besides. I think you may have given the idea to some of the people here, too. You should have seen Teal'c's face when he came shopping with us."
"Teal'c?" Rodney asked and immediately shook his head. "No. Don't tell me. I'm not sure I want to know. Thanks again."
"No problem. You have fun," she said. Then she winked at him. "And behave yourself."
"Oh, please, Colonel," he said and rolled his eyes.
"What's going on, Rodney?" a voice said from behind him and Rodney froze.
"He's getting some of our outdated equipment," Sam said with a barely hidden grin, saving him from having to come up with an excuse. And, on cue, the first of the boxes came through the Gate.
"Outdated and he's calling you a goddess?" There was something in John's voice and Rodney felt his gut clench.
"What can I say? I make an impression."
"Apparently," John said flatly.
"Anyway, thanks again. I'll owe you dinner next time I'm there."
"In your dreams, McKay," Sam said, rolling her eyes. Rodney felt the air behind him move as John relaxed a little.
"Right, right," Rodney said, not really paying attention to her. He shut down the video and stood up. He shifted nervously, avoiding John's eyes. "I really should go make sure those supplies are taken care of properly," he said and rushed out of the room, not giving John a chance to stop him.
***
A sharp, high scream from the observatory sent him running. The scene he walked into was something he would have expected to see on the cover of some romance novel. Elizabeth, looking very breathless, was lying in Ronon's arms and was looking up at him with affection.
"Am I interrupted anything?" Rodney said, trying very hard to hide his laughter and failing utterly.
"No, not at all," Elizabeth said. Her serious expression was completely overridden by her location in Ronon's arms. After a moment, she realized the fact and got him to let her down.
"You're not setting up everything already, are you?"
"Not yet," Elizabeth said and motioned to the plants that Teyla had gathered. "Just those so that we can get them up without being in everybody's way tomorrow."
"Oh, good," Rodney said, relieved. "I've been lucky so far and I don't want to ruin that luck."
"Don't worry so much, Rodney," Elizabeth said with what probably was supposed to be a reassuring smile. "He hasn’t found out."
"So far," he muttered, knowing that he was already jinxed.
***
"Rodney," John called and Rodney quickly did and about face and headed back the way that he'd come. He knew it was a mistake when he heard John running to catch up and felt the tight grip on his arm. He stopped and turned to face John with a sigh.
"Colonel."
"You've been avoiding me, Rodney," John said. There was an unreadable expression on his face and Rodney almost didn't want to know what John was thinking.
"No, of course not," Rodney said, looking behind John. He wanted to get out of the conversation fast, but he didn't think that John was going to take much more stalling.
"You have. I've seen you twice this week. You're hiding something."
"I told you. I've been busy."
"With secret shipments from Colonel Carter and secret meetings with Teyla. I say again. Hiding something." He looked about to continue, but something interrupted him and he cocked his head slightly. Obviously someone was talking to him over the comm... Finally, John straightened. "I have to go. But this isn't over yet, McKay."
John was obviously expected somewhere, but he was hesitating, as if waiting for Rodney to say something. He tried to think of some excuse to offer, but couldn't come up with anything.
"Look, Colonel," he said finally. "I'll tell you everything tomorrow night. After whatever plans you have with Teyla."
"I'll meet you at your room, then," John said, nodding.
"My-? Yes. Of course. My room." He determinedly did not read anything into the location of the supposed meeting. It wasn't like there'd actually be a meeting, anyway.
"Good," John said with a nod and began walking off. "Tomorrow."
"Tomorrow," Rodney said with a sigh.
***
Every five minutes, Rodney checked his watch. He kept expecting John to enter the room at any moment. The closer it came to the time that John was supposed to arrive, the more often Rodney checked the time. Eventually, it got to the point that not even a minute had passed.
"Where is he?" he muttered and his question was answered by Radek running into the room.
"They're just down the hall."
"Everyone, think 'off'," Rodney called and a split second later the lights blinked out.
The door opened and Rodney heard John question Teyla about the lights. A moment later he was almost blinded as John turned the lights on. Rodney could see the shocked question forming on John's face, but didn't give him a chance to ask it. Instead, he played the first chord on the piano and the entire room - Athosians included - burst into a rendition of We Wish You a Merry Christmas.
When they were through, Rodney looked at John carefully. He'd been very adamant that he didn't like Christmas and Rodney afraid that a party wouldn't change his mind about that. Even, or maybe especially, because the party was held in his honor.
After a while, he decided to stop being a chicken and gave the piano over to one of the marines. He made his way over to John. When he got there, he stopped, not sure what to say.
"McKay," John said quietly. "I was wondering when you were going to get here."
"I've been a little busy," Rodney said guiltily and nodded in the direction of the keyboard.
"I saw that. Not bad," he said and Rodney could tell that he was referring to the party as much as to the music. "I'm impressed you managed to pull everything together so quickly."
"It's why I haven't been around that much," Rodney said. "That and trying to make sure I didn't give away the secret."
"Hmm," John muttered noncommittally.
"There's even alcohol," Rodney said quickly, hoping to attract John's interest in something about the party. "For after the kids go to bed, of course."
"Of course," John said and Rodney began to despair, sure that his plan had gone horribly wrong. Until he saw John's lips start to curl up in a smirk. "I see you even got something else."
"What?" Rodney asked, confused. He looked around, wondering what he'd forgot to mention or what wasn't immediately obvious. Grinning wildly now, John pointed up. Dread filling him, Rodney obediently looked up and saw the fake mistletoe that Teyla had found on the mainland. "Oh."
"Yes, oh." The unreadable expression was back on John's face. "Looks like there's going to be no meeting at your room tonight. Since you've already explained why you've been missing all week."
"Right," Rodney said, feeling as if he was missing something. John just shook his head and took a step closer. Between one breath and the next, his entire life flipped itself around as he felt John's lips brush his in an entirely chaste kiss.
"Merry Christmas," John whispered and Rodney broke into a grin. Merry Christmas, indeed.