well!
yesterday was ok...my whole day pretty much consisted of laying by the pool! that was relaxing. but later that night got really weird....not weird in a bad way...but not in a good way either.
it all started around 11:00 or so. i went upstairs, and i started getting this really weird vibe. so i turned on my lava lamp..hoping for some protection..lol. then i crawled into bed. i was laying there for like 2 minutes. then all of these visions started racing through my head..i was so scared.....i have never felt like this before!
in some ways the visions were good...they got me thinking of all the memories that my aunt kim and i shared. all the nights we stayed up talking about anything and everything! the times her and i layed outside under the stars! all the family picnics. the water balloon fights. her taking me driving for the first time! me dying her hair, while she complained the whole time about me taking too long!!the parties that we went to. but she was always the one who was thinking of others instead of her self! like on the night of prom..my aunt was there, even though she was really, really sick! she helped me the whole time!!! i will never forget that! oh man i miss her so effing much! she was the only person i could really talk to ! now i have no one(well not no one. i just dont have her) i will never get over the fact that she is not with me anymore!
WHY?
i remember when she brought her son home from the hospital...the look in her eyes..she was so excited that she was finally able to have a child! i guess she had 2 miscarriages before this..hmm...but the look in her eyes.....they sparkled with excitement!!
i know that you all probably dont want to hear this...but i have no one to talk to anymore. this is my escape now.
My aunt Kim WAS and ALWAYS will be the stars to my nights sky, the syrup on my pancakes, the apple to my tree, the cheer to my cheerios, and of course the marshmallows to my lucky charms! and if you are ever someones marshmallow to their lucky charms, you know that you are the best thing that ever happened in their life! she was the most wonderful person and without her i am incomplete! i now that she is, and always will be in my heart....but she shouldnt have to be....her life was taken and not by natural causes...but by jealousy....it shouldnt have happened like that!
I WANT HER BACK!!
i want to see her smiling face one more time! i want to tell her good-bye! i didnt even get that! i couldnt even see her one last time! i just want her back........it feels like i have lost the love of my life.....oh wait, SHE WAS MY LIFE!!
i am the spitting image of her.. everyone is always saying that we act and look the same....and that she should have been my mother!! some times i wished she was my mother...actually once i wished upon a star that time would some how turn back and that she would have given birth to me!(i know. that is crazy. right?) but that is how much i loved her!
in some crazy way i wish that my life would have been taken that night instead of hers!
her and i actually talked like 2 nights before she was taken about my graduation and the awesome party that she was going to throw me! she said that it was going to be the best party anyone could ever ask for!! all she ever talked about was sitting in the front row, cheering , while i walked across the stage on graduation day! she was the only one who had confidence in me! my actual parents are always putting me down "oh, your not going to graduate" blah blah blah WHATEVER! but no one really understands how much she wanted to see me on the greatest night of my life!!!!
well i was going to end this big long speech thing like 5 paragraphs ago, but i got thinking ....and there is no stopping me when i start doing that!!lol but ill go now!
p.s. my dream last night was of me standing on stage infront of everyone at graduation, while my aunt is sitting in the front row crying her eyes out!!now i know that my aunt will definitely have a front row seat..as she watches from heaven!!
REST IN PEACE KIMBERLY ANNE!
~<3 Amber
it all started around 11:00 or so. i went upstairs, and i started getting this really weird vibe. so i turned on my lava lamp..hoping for some protection..lol. then i crawled into bed. i was laying there for like 2 minutes. then all of these visions started racing through my head..i was so scared.....i have never felt like this before!
in some ways the visions were good...they got me thinking of all the memories that my aunt kim and i shared. all the nights we stayed up talking about anything and everything! the times her and i layed outside under the stars! all the family picnics. the water balloon fights. her taking me driving for the first time! me dying her hair, while she complained the whole time about me taking too long!!the parties that we went to. but she was always the one who was thinking of others instead of her self! like on the night of prom..my aunt was there, even though she was really, really sick! she helped me the whole time!!! i will never forget that! oh man i miss her so effing much! she was the only person i could really talk to ! now i have no one(well not no one. i just dont have her) i will never get over the fact that she is not with me anymore!
WHY?
i remember when she brought her son home from the hospital...the look in her eyes..she was so excited that she was finally able to have a child! i guess she had 2 miscarriages before this..hmm...but the look in her eyes.....they sparkled with excitement!!
i know that you all probably dont want to hear this...but i have no one to talk to anymore. this is my escape now.
My aunt Kim WAS and ALWAYS will be the stars to my nights sky, the syrup on my pancakes, the apple to my tree, the cheer to my cheerios, and of course the marshmallows to my lucky charms! and if you are ever someones marshmallow to their lucky charms, you know that you are the best thing that ever happened in their life! she was the most wonderful person and without her i am incomplete! i now that she is, and always will be in my heart....but she shouldnt have to be....her life was taken and not by natural causes...but by jealousy....it shouldnt have happened like that!
I WANT HER BACK!!
i want to see her smiling face one more time! i want to tell her good-bye! i didnt even get that! i couldnt even see her one last time! i just want her back........it feels like i have lost the love of my life.....oh wait, SHE WAS MY LIFE!!
i am the spitting image of her.. everyone is always saying that we act and look the same....and that she should have been my mother!! some times i wished she was my mother...actually once i wished upon a star that time would some how turn back and that she would have given birth to me!(i know. that is crazy. right?) but that is how much i loved her!
in some crazy way i wish that my life would have been taken that night instead of hers!
her and i actually talked like 2 nights before she was taken about my graduation and the awesome party that she was going to throw me! she said that it was going to be the best party anyone could ever ask for!! all she ever talked about was sitting in the front row, cheering , while i walked across the stage on graduation day! she was the only one who had confidence in me! my actual parents are always putting me down "oh, your not going to graduate" blah blah blah WHATEVER! but no one really understands how much she wanted to see me on the greatest night of my life!!!!
well i was going to end this big long speech thing like 5 paragraphs ago, but i got thinking ....and there is no stopping me when i start doing that!!lol but ill go now!
p.s. my dream last night was of me standing on stage infront of everyone at graduation, while my aunt is sitting in the front row crying her eyes out!!now i know that my aunt will definitely have a front row seat..as she watches from heaven!!
REST IN PEACE KIMBERLY ANNE!
~<3 Amber