[multiple, multiple locks] [I despair of her.]

[pplrunincircles]

[locked against the CLF]

So is this Three Dog person just the coolest person in the world or what? I mean his name is Three Dog. And like the way he writes stuff. I don't know how to describe it. It sounds like super cool though. I'm not good with words and explaining stuff. Plus, it's fun to hear about the rest of the world, huh?

So if an angel and

Comments

[locked]

[sophicsulphur]

Yeah... you are right about that. I guess I didn't think of it that way, but I should've. It's just hard to not act. You see someone else's life in the balance, or in your case having a death that's better than it would otherwise be, and you know you can do something. You just don't think about yourself. Or I don't anyway.

That's okay! I understand your Calling comes first. And I think I'm free then! Sounds great!

[long pause before she writes this in at the bottom]

Elizabeth, you're a really really nice person and I trust you so would you maybe do me a favour? Please keep being Phoebe's really, really good friend, okay? And if I ever do anything stupid and make her feel bad please listen to her. And please tell me.

And if I ever act on the journals or anywhere like I'm going to do something stupid that will make her feel bad then please tell me. Like, say "no, Iris, if you do that it will go badly and I will slap you with a fish". Something like that.

Because I just do really stupid things sometimes and I don't even know.

Okay that's a lot of favours. I understand if you can't do all that.

[locked]

[pplrunincircles]

Yes, it's definitely hard, but it's a good thing to do. Like run a little slower when going to someone that's in need or like try to watch out for things that could kill you on the way.

Awesome!

Um. Thank you. I'm glad you think I'm a really nice person, but I don't know if- I was always gonna keep being Phoebe's really good friend. But if you do something that makes her feel bad that's gonna be between the two of you, you know? I mean, I don't think she would tell me about it. Especially if she considers you a friend, she wouldn't like talk about you to anybody or something. We're friends, but our callings keep us both super busy so we don't get to see each other as much as we like.

What could you act like on the journals that would make her feel bad?

Phoebe is pretty awesome about stuff. I mean, unless you're like calling her bad names then I don't think that she'd feel bad.

Plus, everyone does stupid stuff sometimes. I do it more than most people that I know so. I know how you can feel bad when you do something stupid that hurts someone you care about, but you have to forgive yourself or it's one of those things that stops you from really living life, you know? Cause you're too scared of hurting them again or something like that.

It's not that I can't. I guess I just don't understand what's going on really.

[locked]

[sophicsulphur]

No, that makes sense. I'm just scared I guess. I worry too much.

It's no big deal. I just really love her and I'm worried I'll do embarrassing stuff. Like now. I don't know.

I'm not good at this.

[locked]

[pplrunincircles]

Hey, it's okay. I used to be there where I worried all the time. I'd say something stupid or do something stupid, and I'd be so afraid that I'd ruined everything. I've been there. But you know what? The people who really care about you like the people who are the only kinds that are worth having in your life aren't gonna let that stuff get in the way, okay?

Plus, there's nothing embarrassing that you did just now cause you only told me, and I won't tell anybody else about it and I'm not gonna judge you for anything that you say or do.

I don't think anybody is good at it.

At least not at first.

[locked]

[sophicsulphur]

Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks. I'm sorry for being all silly at you. But it really does feel like that. I'm really glad to know it doesn't really end up that you ruin everything though. That you've been there, that's comforting.

Sorry about that. Sometimes I just feel like bursting.

Anyway! I should stop talking. And I will see you on Tuesday if you don't have Calling stuff and no more explosions happen and we both are generally free and alive!

[locked]

[pplrunincircles]

No problem! Hey, I'm like the silliest person in the world so. There's no need to apologize. Seriously. I could show you some private entries I wrote back in the day where I was freaking out over something I said or did. I don't care what most people think about me, but when it comes down to certain ones, yeah, I'm gonna freak out. I've learned better now. I know that people who really care about you, they'll let that "stupid" stuff that you do go and they'll be there for you how ever they can be. But it took me a long time to figure it out.

Hey, you. No apologizing! I don't want you saying you're sorry to me unless you've like hit me in the face with a frying pan or something. Then you can apologize. :)

You don't have to stop talking if you don't want. I'm just chilling in bed eating mac and cheese while I flip through the journal and watch a movie. But if you do want that's cool too. Cause I totally WILL see you on Tuesday assuming that we're still alive and no sudden crises happen. Yes.

[locked]

[sophicsulphur]

Yeah, that's so true. You don't care that much about what anyone thinks until you... do. I was always kind of the weird one growing up and even as a teenager people thought I was weird and I just didn't mind at all. But suddenly I'm obsessing over it. I need to just make myself relax. It shouldn't be this hard, I mean I'm used to meditating.

Okay! Also I can't guarantee I will never, ever accidentally hit you in the face with a frying pan, because I like cooking and also I'm a bit clumsy. So it could happen. But I will totally apologise then.

I guess I won't stop then! I just didn't want to keep you. Although if I kind of suddenly stop it means I fell asleep, so don't worry about it. Bed is a comfortable place to be reading your journal from. Especially with a warm kitten. Warm kittens are the best.

[locked]

[pplrunincircles]

You are totally speaking to the Princess of Weird right here. I was definitely seen as weird when I was growing up, especially in middle school. I used to sit alone eating lunch hiding somewhere and I used to get laughed at. People hated me cause I always asked questions in class like all the questions ever. At the end, I just told myself, NO MORE! And I stopped caring what people I didn't know thought about me, but there's a handful of people who it'd kill me if they thought badly of me. But you shouldn't obsess over it. You should try to relax if you can, because like I said, people worth your love will also not think badly of you for something that you've done.

oh mygosh! I LOVE COOKING. I also am really, really clumsy. Once, I was hanging from the back of a fire escape. My sandal got caught in it while I was trying to escape, and I got a banana stuck to my hand at the same time. It was awkward.

Nope, you're not keeping me! And even if you were, I could always write back to you at a later time. Okay! :) Bed is totally comfy. Did you get one of the kittens at the Kashtta? I've seen them when I was over there. They're so adorable! :D

[locked]

[sophicsulphur]

They hated you for asking questions? It's a little bit the same for me, but I still don't get why people do that, like it's bad to want to know things. People were just always like, there are questions you're not supposed to ask. But I never got that. My family were alchemists and I grew up learning I was supposed to question everything and explore everything. But everyone else just acted like that was the worst thing ever.

I will try, you're right. If someone is as incredible inside as I know Phoebe is, it shouldn't be a big deal. It's only really my second time ever feeling like that for anyone, and the first didn't go anywhere either. So I guess I just am not used to... what to do or anything.

Haha, we're the same on so many things! How did the banana get stuck to your hand? That's what I want to know. They don't seem like things that just get... stuck.

I did! I have a black kitten named Flamel. I found him trying to get into all my stuff. I guess he really likes alchemy too, which I guess would be why he ended up with me. It's so nice to have a cat to snuggle up to when Chicago is being... well, Chicago I guess.

[locked]

[pplrunincircles]

Um. It's complicated. I think cause I asked stupid questions or something. I don't know. I was annoying to people. I used to be terrified that I'd annoy the people that I got close to too like I did all of them. I'm better though when it comes to being afraid of that. I understand what they say when they say Ignorance is bliss. It took me awhile to figure it out, but I get it now and it's not anything that I want someone else to be... to understand. I don't think it's bad to ask questions or to learn.

It definitely won't be. Not to her! I know that like that stuff can get complicated though so I get why you'd be flipping out about it. I think you should try to just continue to be her friend. I know it can be hard, but what else can you do?

I tripped and my hand fell in superglue and my leg fell in blue paint! I guess they were like doing renovations and stuff. I don't know! So I got the superglue on my hand and then I realized I was hungry? So I usually don't take stuff from the dying people's apartments, but I was seriously near-faint, you know? So I grabbed a banana and then remembered the glue and by that time it was too late.

I love that name! Flamel! It's cool to say out loud anyway. It's definitely good to have a kitten to keep you company in Chicago, especially one that's indestra industr not able to die!

[locked]

[sophicsulphur]

Well, you wouldn't annoy me. You can never ask too many questions. Even if it seems stupid or basic, if you're asking then it's because you want to know and that's a good thing. I would really really never be bothered by people wanting to learn.

I guess there really isn't anything else... I guess that is just what I do. Funny, that's a weird and simple thought. I kept feeling like I should do something because it feels that way inside, but I guess that's not so. Maybe that'll make me feel a bit better. I hope so! I don't want to not feel this way either, but still.

That... wow. That's a really incredible sequence of events. I've had a lot of strange things happen to me, especially when I work at the cauldron because there's a lot of potential for things to turn into other things. But never anything quite like that! I would be worried about how to remove the banana....

Hehe, thanks! It's a famous alchemist's name. I'm going to train him to be my familiar I think.

[locked]

[pplrunincircles]

Thanks. That's good to know. :) I mostly figure that people who are annoyed by me. WELL, I don't need to be friends with everyone or anything. It's okay if some people don't like me. I'll just hang out at other places with people who do!

Yeah, I know how feelings can be so strong. I've only fallen in love once, and it's the strongest feeling that I know. I think it will make you feel better if you bounce back into trying to be her friend. I don't know for sure. If it doesn't, you could take a break for awhile and try again after some time has passed.

I'm kind of a huge dork. I get into stuff like that all the time. Luckily, my boyfriend caught me and removed my banana- I mean, removed my hand from my banana. :D He's very talented with my hands and bananas!

What's a familiar?

[locked]

[sophicsulphur]

Yeah! It's like you said, they wouldn't be really good friends anyway, right? Real friends will just like you for who you are.

It really is powerful. I think love's meant to be strong, because it makes so many good things possible and the world needs it. Just when a lot of it gets in one person instead of being spread out more I guess. I'll do what I can! Got to have faith in myself, here.

Okay and I just started laughing really hard again. You are really lucky to have someone who is talented with... okay, I can't even. Finish that sentence without laughing. Um. Did I mention I'm really easily embarrassed?

A familiar is like a really smart animal who can help you with magic. Like a really tiny elemental spirit I guess. They can sense things and since magic works by connections it can be easier to work with someone than work on your own. And most animals just really respond well to magic so it's good for them, they'll live longer and be happier and stuff. Though the cats are immortal anyway.

I wonder if they're okay with that.

[locked]

[pplrunincircles]

Yes, exactly!

Love is the most powerful feeling, and it doesn't matter if it's the romantic sort or the friend sort, it's really the strongest force there is. There's comfort and hope in that too, you know?

What's so embarrassing about bananas and hands? I mean, I'm the one that it happened to so. You don't have to be embarrassed! :D [Elizabeth does not understand innuendos. No. It's been a subject of many people laughing at things that she says and her having no idea why.]

Oh, really? Wow. I've never heard about that before. How do you turn an animal into your familiar instead of only your pet? Is that done with magic too?

You know, I don't know. I think it's different for kittens. Like their life isn't a story so much as they love and eat and sleep and other stuff without thinking about what it all means or understanding the depths of stuff. It's what makes them so awesome! But it's also why I think they might be okay with living forever. They love so easily, and even if they lose somebody, it won't hurt them to love someone new. If that makes sense.

[locked]

[sophicsulphur]

Yeah... there is. I really need to hold onto that. It doesn't hurt because it's bad or wrong, and there's nothing I need to fix. Maybe it's just the not letting it be what it is that makes it hurt. I should really try looking at it in a more positive way.

You always know the right things to say!

Um... you know, I'm not entirely sure either. [She actually isn't. It just sounds vaguely...] Hehe. It just seems like there's something.

Yeah, with magic. Just... showing them things? It's been a long time since I read about it, I need to go find some books again. All my old ones were back home. But if you can introduce them to sort of, higher levels of thinking, magically. Get them in tune with stuff. But they're still animals, they just interact on another plane. It's sort of complex, but it's all about how things resonate with and connect with each other.

I guess that does! What differents separates an animal from a human is they're more in the now. Which makes them better at working with magic than a person, sometimes. In a way, we make things too complicated. We should just love and be loved, wherever it comes from.

I guess there's a lot to be learned from cats!