Warning this is a bit whiny
I just had to say what’s on my mind. In the past 3 months I’ve had some significant changes, and if you go back 9 months even more.
In the last 3 months I’ve become single, my father has died, and my mother has died (no they weren’t still together, and yes that , means I became an orphan in about 6 weeks).
In the next week I have to write a eulogy for my father, work out arrangements for my mother, complete a project that will set the tone for my work contract. In the next couple of months I have to find a way to budget 3-4 cross country trips, plan a memorial for my mother, create a memorial presentation. This is all in addition to my normal work load.
It isn’t that I am at all resentful of the priorities that I have, I’m just trying to figure out what the lesson is that the gods have for me. As far as I can tell it is either…I need to have support systems that are peripheral to my intimate (as defined by family and partners) life, or I need to reflect on change, or I need to distance myself from my past, or something else that I haven’t seen yet. I’m taking tonight to feel the pain for myself and we will see what else time reveals.
I have returned to regular meditation. I have continued regular libations, I will restart regular divinations. I am hoping that this next year will help me to understand what I should be looking for.
I expect the time between now and Beltane to be interesting
In the last 3 months I’ve become single, my father has died, and my mother has died (no they weren’t still together, and yes that , means I became an orphan in about 6 weeks).
In the next week I have to write a eulogy for my father, work out arrangements for my mother, complete a project that will set the tone for my work contract. In the next couple of months I have to find a way to budget 3-4 cross country trips, plan a memorial for my mother, create a memorial presentation. This is all in addition to my normal work load.
It isn’t that I am at all resentful of the priorities that I have, I’m just trying to figure out what the lesson is that the gods have for me. As far as I can tell it is either…I need to have support systems that are peripheral to my intimate (as defined by family and partners) life, or I need to reflect on change, or I need to distance myself from my past, or something else that I haven’t seen yet. I’m taking tonight to feel the pain for myself and we will see what else time reveals.
I have returned to regular meditation. I have continued regular libations, I will restart regular divinations. I am hoping that this next year will help me to understand what I should be looking for.
I expect the time between now and Beltane to be interesting