As I lay siege... :-)
Whoa, in danger of falling behind, with all sorts of interesting things happening!
I skipped writing about this for a few days, as I didn't want to be in a rush doing so, but come on, it's Wednesday now! Monday, as I arrived back home, I chatted up a fine individual on IM, and we ended up meeting for a beer or two. It was most enlightening. It's kind of annoying, because I'd like to hang out for other reasons (like having plain old fun with silly video games or Godzilla movies, for example!), but I'm all for communication, clarification and disambiguation, so I did want to have one of these talks sooner or later, just didn't expect it to be too soon (more on this, keep in mind this is all my side of things, pure opinion piece).
I was touched to find that he was worried about me. He's rather private, and I didn't think he's be the type to do any worrying about me. But he was, and he seemed serious about it too. I respect.
I feel he'd rather stab himself in the face than hurt our common favourite people willingly. Which is most excellent, as it'll save me the time and money to fly back from France to stab him in the face if he did (okay, I'm rather independent, yes, but I am rather on the protective side!). Because I would.
I asked him what he thought, and how things could be in hypothetical situations, to try to get an idea of what I could expect of this. So, he is utterly mono (NOT a bad thing! it's being a mindless zombie moron I have something against, and he's anything but that), but he is also utterly reasonable. I'll take mono and reasonable over poly and unreasonable, any day of the week! So, some of the answers were terribly unsurprising (I could have enjoyed a surprise in that department, but by the same token, it's not a big let-down, I was expecting those answers). Him being in the situation of being "the conservative one" cracked me up a bit, and made him roll his eyes some, LOL!
He wasn't too impressed with my general attitude, which, while I'm not ashamed of it, I understand his position. How I came through to him in my attitude was that I'm a bit "sieging at the gates". My outlook on things certainly is different and can give this impression! For example, I can "afford" to wait out for someone for very long, because I'm not losing anything else by waiting (not closing myself to other interests, for example). I'm also not as lonely, so I can "afford" to not "get everything" and still be quite happy. Like I said recently, I had been quite amazed at how some feelings just don't go away, when I met my first love and I was left all tingly still, after more than 10 years! So yeah, seems like I'd be easily able to "lay siege" for whole decades at a time without an effort, could be annoying! But I'll be all the way over in Europe, I should stay out of his face most of the time.
But it's true that given the opportunity, I would certainly like getting more, anything else would be complete delusion! So I can sense a bit of worry that if he'd be to cut me a little loose, I'd be using that as a base to "get even more". I hope that the fact that I'd ask his opinion even when he doesn't really have a say in it, just out of respect for him, should speak for itself. In my own perception, I'm just being honest with myself and others. I don't think anyone would come and accuse me of coming out of left field with something, out of the blue, you can see me coming miles away!
My own worry was that my behaviour with her could leave him unimpressed enough about her (hey, despite azrhey's daydreams, I'm not exactly interested in him, so what he thinks of me is of limited interest), and then fuck things up even when I'd leave the picture.
He's a good man. I think we're all pretty lucky, all things considered. We all know some pretty awesome people (hey, I got to flatter my own ego a bit, no?).
Should I be sad about some of that? Meh, I'm too busy to be sad, I've got a movie to go to with a nice girl. :-P
I skipped writing about this for a few days, as I didn't want to be in a rush doing so, but come on, it's Wednesday now! Monday, as I arrived back home, I chatted up a fine individual on IM, and we ended up meeting for a beer or two. It was most enlightening. It's kind of annoying, because I'd like to hang out for other reasons (like having plain old fun with silly video games or Godzilla movies, for example!), but I'm all for communication, clarification and disambiguation, so I did want to have one of these talks sooner or later, just didn't expect it to be too soon (more on this, keep in mind this is all my side of things, pure opinion piece).
I was touched to find that he was worried about me. He's rather private, and I didn't think he's be the type to do any worrying about me. But he was, and he seemed serious about it too. I respect.
I feel he'd rather stab himself in the face than hurt our common favourite people willingly. Which is most excellent, as it'll save me the time and money to fly back from France to stab him in the face if he did (okay, I'm rather independent, yes, but I am rather on the protective side!). Because I would.
I asked him what he thought, and how things could be in hypothetical situations, to try to get an idea of what I could expect of this. So, he is utterly mono (NOT a bad thing! it's being a mindless zombie moron I have something against, and he's anything but that), but he is also utterly reasonable. I'll take mono and reasonable over poly and unreasonable, any day of the week! So, some of the answers were terribly unsurprising (I could have enjoyed a surprise in that department, but by the same token, it's not a big let-down, I was expecting those answers). Him being in the situation of being "the conservative one" cracked me up a bit, and made him roll his eyes some, LOL!
He wasn't too impressed with my general attitude, which, while I'm not ashamed of it, I understand his position. How I came through to him in my attitude was that I'm a bit "sieging at the gates". My outlook on things certainly is different and can give this impression! For example, I can "afford" to wait out for someone for very long, because I'm not losing anything else by waiting (not closing myself to other interests, for example). I'm also not as lonely, so I can "afford" to not "get everything" and still be quite happy. Like I said recently, I had been quite amazed at how some feelings just don't go away, when I met my first love and I was left all tingly still, after more than 10 years! So yeah, seems like I'd be easily able to "lay siege" for whole decades at a time without an effort, could be annoying! But I'll be all the way over in Europe, I should stay out of his face most of the time.
But it's true that given the opportunity, I would certainly like getting more, anything else would be complete delusion! So I can sense a bit of worry that if he'd be to cut me a little loose, I'd be using that as a base to "get even more". I hope that the fact that I'd ask his opinion even when he doesn't really have a say in it, just out of respect for him, should speak for itself. In my own perception, I'm just being honest with myself and others. I don't think anyone would come and accuse me of coming out of left field with something, out of the blue, you can see me coming miles away!
My own worry was that my behaviour with her could leave him unimpressed enough about her (hey, despite azrhey's daydreams, I'm not exactly interested in him, so what he thinks of me is of limited interest), and then fuck things up even when I'd leave the picture.
He's a good man. I think we're all pretty lucky, all things considered. We all know some pretty awesome people (hey, I got to flatter my own ego a bit, no?).
Should I be sad about some of that? Meh, I'm too busy to be sad, I've got a movie to go to with a nice girl. :-P