The Whole of You [3/?]
Title: The Whole of You
Pairings: Yunjae
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: boy x boy pairing,
Chapter 1: http://ppership-live.livejournal.com/985.html
Chapter 2:
part 1: http://ppership-live.livejournal.com/3140.html
part 2: http://ppership-live.livejournal.com/4235.html
AN1: OMFG. I have to freaking restart this thing for at least 5 times just to open my account and update this fic. It's my fault. I should have wrote an update earlier but oh well....The internet's a bitch and I have slapped it hard. It's okay now..I guess ahaha :D
AN2: are you guys confused with my story so far? TT-TT Am I horrible?
Chapter 3:
I walked passed a busy street holding a small piece of paper with an address written, just what he desperately needed right now.
So...The name's Kim Dong Hoon. That bastard. i'm going to make him pay for giving me a hard time at that dirty alley. The address lead me to a not-so-big house, but big enough for maybe a family with 2 children, maybe, I'm not really sure. It doesn't look elegant though, seems like that bastard's not really that rich. Poor wife, her husband's salary can't even buy them a big car, yet he wasted some of it just to have a good fuck.
I walked towards the bastard's gate and breathed. I just have to let go my anger today. I just have to.
I roamed my eyes around me, just to make sure no one's seeing me here.. I heard he's a police officer and he's pretty much respected in this place so...It will be hard for me if someone witnessed me ditching him out. Police officer. What the fuck. He fucked a prostitute while he has a wife and kids with him. That's a shame.
I'm a shame.
I pressed the doorbell and waited to get a response. Seconds later, the door slowly opened revealing the bastard's ugly old face.
"What are you doing here?" Dong Hoon whispered with a tone of tension. i was welcomed by a smell of curry, looks like the wife's cooking lunch now. I then turned back to meet the bastard's eye. I don't even want to spill his name by my mouth, I feel disgusted.
"Can I come in?" a fake smile of mine broke the silence. He glared at me like I asked for his both kidneys. I felt my heart laugh, It would be fun to torture this guy for a while, you know, just to have a little revenge.
"No," He finally answered as he stopped staring at me like I'm a one-eyed naked man. I grabbed his arm dearly (I nearly puked, I swear)
"Why~ Is your wife home?" I used my high school girl-like tone and began rocking his arm like I'm asking him to have me inside his house. I didn't miss the dark glare he shot at me. Ooooh, the bastard's pissed. Good.
"Yes. What do you want?" He closed the door behind him, not wanting anyone to overhear our conversation. Coward jerk.
"What? You don't want your wife to know you fucked a guy while you're supposed to be at work?" I hissed as I flipped my hair to get rid of the strands blocking my face. I took time to look at him with my two eyes, his face irritated me too much now, I can punch him right away.
"Shh--Can you not talk about that anymore?" He grabbed my arm as if wanting to talk away from his house, I violently jerked away. How dare he grab me like that! "Let's not talk here." He insisted, ignoring death glares and my red face. I am seriously mad right now, first he fucked my brains out at that disgusting alley and then now he has the guts to order me off? what the fuck. He even grabbed me, no one just grab the Kim Jaejoong ya know.
"No. I am going to talk here. Now." I declared, my voice a bit louder than usual, without the intention of giving him any choice.
"Okay. Just please be quiet. I'll do anything." I huffed.
Bastard.
"You didn't give me the amount you promised me." I spitted out with a loud voice, he signaled me to tone down but I ignored him.You are not going to order me again, not anymore.
"Okay. How much?" He whispered as he fished his wallet from his pocket as fast as the wind. I actually hated myself right now. I do act like a low prostitute at this moment. Of course I would hate myself for this.
Wait Jaejoong, this is not you. You are not a lowly prostitute, you would never stoop to that level.
"Forget the money." I cut him out, he darted his attention back to me again as she stopped rummaging his old wallet.
"Then, what do you want?"
What do you want Jaejoong...
What do you really want.
"Apologize." I stated softly but loud enough to reach his ears.
"Pardon?" He chuckled. "Do you want me to apologize? to who? You? What, you have dignity now?" He chuckled one more time. Somehow those words hurt me. I know I am low before him but...
"Take that back." I spitted.
It doesn't mean he can
"Hahaha. A prostitute with dignity. How ironic." He touched my neck with his rough hand, running it down until it reaches my chest. I glared at him once more. "You know, for a prostitute, you should be contented with what the customers give you. Because you're all a bunch of trash. You're all the shame of this society.
I can't take this anymore.
I punched him hard.
Hard enough to make him unconscious.
But then, I heard a woman's scream.
---------
"Oh, It's you. What are you doing here?" The curly man entered the room with a bunch of papers on his hands. After punching the living daylights of that Dong Hoon bastard, I heard a scream behind my back. Apparently, his wife caught me punching her beloved husband right in front of her face.
"I kinda committed a bad action..." I answered with a slight unsure tone. Why is he here by the way? Is he working here?
"Really? a crime?" He asked again as he sorted the papers at the table in front of me. I stared at him for a while. It's not the best time to appreciate his beauty but he really is attractive, not my type though. We can still be friends.
"No. Sorry for asking, but why are you here?" I saw him grin a little as he stopped whatever he's doing with those papers. "Never mind I as asked. Sorry."
He smiled widely. "I work here. We never formally met, right?"
I softly smiled. "The name's Jaejoong. Kim Jaejoong." It was actually true. I never gotten the chance to know his name.
"Park Yoochun" he introduced casually and then go back to whatever he was doing. "So, Kim Jaejoong, what have you done that you ended up here?" he asked with the police-tone. It feels not so comfortable when he used that tone.
I squirmed at my seat, trying to get things cool. "I kinda...punched one of your co-officers here"
He then turned to me with a hint of surprise. "really? why?"
Just as when I am about to answer his question. Another policeman entered the room. "Mr. Kim, right?"
"Yes."
"Please come with me. The complainant wants to talk to you." The policeman urged me to follow him and I obeyed. I caught Yoochun's silent 'Goodluck' as I exited the room, following the man in uniform.
The station's not really the most cool places I have ever been.
Seeing Yunho with the bastard-faced Dong Hoon makes it more uncool.
Yunho...
Why do you always find me on my most shameful moment...
"Oh, it's you." Yunho greeted me without any emotions showing. I stared at him for a while before giving him a light nod. "So, you're the one at fault?"
Yunho...It's been a long time..You've changed a lot...
"I don't know what you mean with 'at fault' so...." I acted cool like nothing's really happening inside me. But to be honest I can feel my heart breaking now...
Don't you even recognize me?
Yunho stared at me for a while making it a bit uncomfortable to my side. "Name please." He stated.
My name. Don't you know it? "Kim Jaejoong. It's my name."
He slightly nodded as he took down the notes in his laptop. "So why did you attack Mr. Dong Hoon, perhaps there's a reason behind this?"
I didn't answer his question, I suddenly remembered that bastard's wife. "Where's your wife?" I asked the bastard.
"None of your business." He hissed. I glared at him. I should have punched him twice!
"I believe I'm the one tasked to ask questions Mr. Kim Jaejoong" Yunho distracted while I'm at the urge f breaking the old man's skull. I turned to see Yunho glaring at me. At the rarest part of my life, I feel scared. I found Yunho, but I found the different one.
I feel a slight sadness.
Because he haven't found me yet.
"My name..it's Kim Jaejoong." I tried again. There's no way he could forget my name. Or did he...
"Yes. I know." He plainly answered.
"You know?" I asked with a hint of hope, praying silently he does know my name.
"Yes. You gave it just now. As I was saying, why did you attack Mr. Dong Hoon? what are your motives?" He asked the same question again. I stared and stood there. My mind goes blank. Is this really Yunho? No. that's not Yunho. Yunho could never be cold like that.. no..
"Are you Jung Yunho?"
"Yes, I am."
"Yunho?"
"Yes."
That can't be.
My Yunho.
This is not the Yunho I've been looking for for almost 18 years.
-----------
After asking me questions, which I didn't even bothered answering all. We all came down with one agreement.
"I want him to apologize" The old bastard firmly declared.
Oh like hell I will.
"Mr. Kim, you heard him?" I looked at not-my-Yunho, (No I am not going to accept that this amn is Yunho.) who's been looking at me too. His eyes.....it's too cold.
"I do heard him. I'm sorry." I bowed at the bastard, swallowing my pride and forgetting why I have punched him on the first place. All because Yunho's eyes told me to do so, I got no choice but to obey.
Those eyes.
"Joongie~ my eyes are beautiful like yours right? do you like them?"
I do.
I do like them.
"E-excuse me. I need to go tho the bathroom." I excused myself as I exited the room without waiting if it was allowed or not, but since no one stopped me, I guess it's okay.
I splashed the water onto my face, absorbing the coldness that my skin feels. I should really stop crying like a pussy. I guess I really am upset, hurt, I don't know slight betrayed, maybe?
"Kim Jaejoong. Stop crying." I stared at my reflection. Did I age a lot? why did Yunho....
Stop. He's not my Yunho.
He never was.
"Yunho...Yunho..." I continued to call out as I sat down the floor finally accepting the pain. Why? Why Yunho? I covered my mouth with my hand to avoid anyone from hearing my sobs. My heart...it feels like it's going to burst. Tell me how would you feel in time like this? Am I really weak? Yes. i am weaker than this. I am much more weaker than this. I swallowed the lump inside my throat as I felt my eyes stinging. Everything in me hurts now.
Does it matter if everything hurts?
I've been hurting for eighteen years now.
But I never felt this kind of pain before.
I feel totally abandoned.
I heard a knock on the door. I ignored it, keeping my sobs inaudible now.
Go away.
I heard a knock again.
"Go away." I managed to speak between my hiccups. I can feel my throat burning now.
"Jaejoong?"
It's...
I opened the door. My friend has come.
"Junsu...." I captured him with my tight embrace.
"whoa. Jaejoong, Why are you crying?" Junsu soothes my hiccups with his warm and secured embrace. This is my friend, Kim Junsu. He's the only person i considered as my closest friend.
"Junsu...I saw him...I finally saw him..." I tightened my grip on him as another wave of pain bind my heart. I can't take this... Someone please make it stop.
"Yunho?" He slightly pushed me to have a look on my swollen face, wanting to confirm if i was joking or insane or anything near those two. "You're kidding...right?"
I shake my head 'no'
I saw Junsu widened his eyes in disbelief, i can actually hear him squeal on me but i didn't bother much if it was embarrassing for a mature 27 years old to even act like that.
"Oh really! You found him! Where is he huh? Where's your Yunho?"
"Yes?" I froze at my place. That voice. I can never not recognize that voice.
Yunho.
------
"Jaejoongie... My mom told me something...."
"what is it Yunnie?"
"well she said that I should not tell it to anyone, even to my Jaejoongie..."
"It's okay you can tell me..."
"....."
"Yunnie?"
{AN3: whew. i don't know if this fic makes sense at all. I don't know anymore.Jaejoong is so emo when it come to Yunnie TT-TT Please leave a comment. it helps me boost my author spirit... :D}
{AN4; if you have any questions or suggestion regarding this story, feel free to ask. ;D}
I am going to sleep....nah ;D
Pairings: Yunjae
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: boy x boy pairing,
Chapter 1: http://ppership-live.livejournal.com/985.html
Chapter 2:
part 1: http://ppership-live.livejournal.com/3140.html
part 2: http://ppership-live.livejournal.com/4235.html
AN1: OMFG. I have to freaking restart this thing for at least 5 times just to open my account and update this fic. It's my fault. I should have wrote an update earlier but oh well....The internet's a bitch and I have slapped it hard. It's okay now..I guess ahaha :D
AN2: are you guys confused with my story so far? TT-TT Am I horrible?
Chapter 3:
I walked passed a busy street holding a small piece of paper with an address written, just what he desperately needed right now.
So...The name's Kim Dong Hoon. That bastard. i'm going to make him pay for giving me a hard time at that dirty alley. The address lead me to a not-so-big house, but big enough for maybe a family with 2 children, maybe, I'm not really sure. It doesn't look elegant though, seems like that bastard's not really that rich. Poor wife, her husband's salary can't even buy them a big car, yet he wasted some of it just to have a good fuck.
I walked towards the bastard's gate and breathed. I just have to let go my anger today. I just have to.
I roamed my eyes around me, just to make sure no one's seeing me here.. I heard he's a police officer and he's pretty much respected in this place so...It will be hard for me if someone witnessed me ditching him out. Police officer. What the fuck. He fucked a prostitute while he has a wife and kids with him. That's a shame.
I'm a shame.
I pressed the doorbell and waited to get a response. Seconds later, the door slowly opened revealing the bastard's ugly old face.
"What are you doing here?" Dong Hoon whispered with a tone of tension. i was welcomed by a smell of curry, looks like the wife's cooking lunch now. I then turned back to meet the bastard's eye. I don't even want to spill his name by my mouth, I feel disgusted.
"Can I come in?" a fake smile of mine broke the silence. He glared at me like I asked for his both kidneys. I felt my heart laugh, It would be fun to torture this guy for a while, you know, just to have a little revenge.
"No," He finally answered as he stopped staring at me like I'm a one-eyed naked man. I grabbed his arm dearly (I nearly puked, I swear)
"Why~ Is your wife home?" I used my high school girl-like tone and began rocking his arm like I'm asking him to have me inside his house. I didn't miss the dark glare he shot at me. Ooooh, the bastard's pissed. Good.
"Yes. What do you want?" He closed the door behind him, not wanting anyone to overhear our conversation. Coward jerk.
"What? You don't want your wife to know you fucked a guy while you're supposed to be at work?" I hissed as I flipped my hair to get rid of the strands blocking my face. I took time to look at him with my two eyes, his face irritated me too much now, I can punch him right away.
"Shh--Can you not talk about that anymore?" He grabbed my arm as if wanting to talk away from his house, I violently jerked away. How dare he grab me like that! "Let's not talk here." He insisted, ignoring death glares and my red face. I am seriously mad right now, first he fucked my brains out at that disgusting alley and then now he has the guts to order me off? what the fuck. He even grabbed me, no one just grab the Kim Jaejoong ya know.
"No. I am going to talk here. Now." I declared, my voice a bit louder than usual, without the intention of giving him any choice.
"Okay. Just please be quiet. I'll do anything." I huffed.
Bastard.
"You didn't give me the amount you promised me." I spitted out with a loud voice, he signaled me to tone down but I ignored him.You are not going to order me again, not anymore.
"Okay. How much?" He whispered as he fished his wallet from his pocket as fast as the wind. I actually hated myself right now. I do act like a low prostitute at this moment. Of course I would hate myself for this.
Wait Jaejoong, this is not you. You are not a lowly prostitute, you would never stoop to that level.
"Forget the money." I cut him out, he darted his attention back to me again as she stopped rummaging his old wallet.
"Then, what do you want?"
What do you want Jaejoong...
What do you really want.
"Apologize." I stated softly but loud enough to reach his ears.
"Pardon?" He chuckled. "Do you want me to apologize? to who? You? What, you have dignity now?" He chuckled one more time. Somehow those words hurt me. I know I am low before him but...
"Take that back." I spitted.
It doesn't mean he can
"Hahaha. A prostitute with dignity. How ironic." He touched my neck with his rough hand, running it down until it reaches my chest. I glared at him once more. "You know, for a prostitute, you should be contented with what the customers give you. Because you're all a bunch of trash. You're all the shame of this society.
I can't take this anymore.
I punched him hard.
Hard enough to make him unconscious.
But then, I heard a woman's scream.
---------
"Oh, It's you. What are you doing here?" The curly man entered the room with a bunch of papers on his hands. After punching the living daylights of that Dong Hoon bastard, I heard a scream behind my back. Apparently, his wife caught me punching her beloved husband right in front of her face.
"I kinda committed a bad action..." I answered with a slight unsure tone. Why is he here by the way? Is he working here?
"Really? a crime?" He asked again as he sorted the papers at the table in front of me. I stared at him for a while. It's not the best time to appreciate his beauty but he really is attractive, not my type though. We can still be friends.
"No. Sorry for asking, but why are you here?" I saw him grin a little as he stopped whatever he's doing with those papers. "Never mind I as asked. Sorry."
He smiled widely. "I work here. We never formally met, right?"
I softly smiled. "The name's Jaejoong. Kim Jaejoong." It was actually true. I never gotten the chance to know his name.
"Park Yoochun" he introduced casually and then go back to whatever he was doing. "So, Kim Jaejoong, what have you done that you ended up here?" he asked with the police-tone. It feels not so comfortable when he used that tone.
I squirmed at my seat, trying to get things cool. "I kinda...punched one of your co-officers here"
He then turned to me with a hint of surprise. "really? why?"
Just as when I am about to answer his question. Another policeman entered the room. "Mr. Kim, right?"
"Yes."
"Please come with me. The complainant wants to talk to you." The policeman urged me to follow him and I obeyed. I caught Yoochun's silent 'Goodluck' as I exited the room, following the man in uniform.
The station's not really the most cool places I have ever been.
Seeing Yunho with the bastard-faced Dong Hoon makes it more uncool.
Yunho...
Why do you always find me on my most shameful moment...
"Oh, it's you." Yunho greeted me without any emotions showing. I stared at him for a while before giving him a light nod. "So, you're the one at fault?"
Yunho...It's been a long time..You've changed a lot...
"I don't know what you mean with 'at fault' so...." I acted cool like nothing's really happening inside me. But to be honest I can feel my heart breaking now...
Don't you even recognize me?
Yunho stared at me for a while making it a bit uncomfortable to my side. "Name please." He stated.
My name. Don't you know it? "Kim Jaejoong. It's my name."
He slightly nodded as he took down the notes in his laptop. "So why did you attack Mr. Dong Hoon, perhaps there's a reason behind this?"
I didn't answer his question, I suddenly remembered that bastard's wife. "Where's your wife?" I asked the bastard.
"None of your business." He hissed. I glared at him. I should have punched him twice!
"I believe I'm the one tasked to ask questions Mr. Kim Jaejoong" Yunho distracted while I'm at the urge f breaking the old man's skull. I turned to see Yunho glaring at me. At the rarest part of my life, I feel scared. I found Yunho, but I found the different one.
I feel a slight sadness.
Because he haven't found me yet.
"My name..it's Kim Jaejoong." I tried again. There's no way he could forget my name. Or did he...
"Yes. I know." He plainly answered.
"You know?" I asked with a hint of hope, praying silently he does know my name.
"Yes. You gave it just now. As I was saying, why did you attack Mr. Dong Hoon? what are your motives?" He asked the same question again. I stared and stood there. My mind goes blank. Is this really Yunho? No. that's not Yunho. Yunho could never be cold like that.. no..
"Are you Jung Yunho?"
"Yes, I am."
"Yunho?"
"Yes."
That can't be.
My Yunho.
This is not the Yunho I've been looking for for almost 18 years.
-----------
After asking me questions, which I didn't even bothered answering all. We all came down with one agreement.
"I want him to apologize" The old bastard firmly declared.
Oh like hell I will.
"Mr. Kim, you heard him?" I looked at not-my-Yunho, (No I am not going to accept that this amn is Yunho.) who's been looking at me too. His eyes.....it's too cold.
"I do heard him. I'm sorry." I bowed at the bastard, swallowing my pride and forgetting why I have punched him on the first place. All because Yunho's eyes told me to do so, I got no choice but to obey.
Those eyes.
"Joongie~ my eyes are beautiful like yours right? do you like them?"
I do.
I do like them.
"E-excuse me. I need to go tho the bathroom." I excused myself as I exited the room without waiting if it was allowed or not, but since no one stopped me, I guess it's okay.
I splashed the water onto my face, absorbing the coldness that my skin feels. I should really stop crying like a pussy. I guess I really am upset, hurt, I don't know slight betrayed, maybe?
"Kim Jaejoong. Stop crying." I stared at my reflection. Did I age a lot? why did Yunho....
Stop. He's not my Yunho.
He never was.
"Yunho...Yunho..." I continued to call out as I sat down the floor finally accepting the pain. Why? Why Yunho? I covered my mouth with my hand to avoid anyone from hearing my sobs. My heart...it feels like it's going to burst. Tell me how would you feel in time like this? Am I really weak? Yes. i am weaker than this. I am much more weaker than this. I swallowed the lump inside my throat as I felt my eyes stinging. Everything in me hurts now.
Does it matter if everything hurts?
I've been hurting for eighteen years now.
But I never felt this kind of pain before.
I feel totally abandoned.
I heard a knock on the door. I ignored it, keeping my sobs inaudible now.
Go away.
I heard a knock again.
"Go away." I managed to speak between my hiccups. I can feel my throat burning now.
"Jaejoong?"
It's...
I opened the door. My friend has come.
"Junsu...." I captured him with my tight embrace.
"whoa. Jaejoong, Why are you crying?" Junsu soothes my hiccups with his warm and secured embrace. This is my friend, Kim Junsu. He's the only person i considered as my closest friend.
"Junsu...I saw him...I finally saw him..." I tightened my grip on him as another wave of pain bind my heart. I can't take this... Someone please make it stop.
"Yunho?" He slightly pushed me to have a look on my swollen face, wanting to confirm if i was joking or insane or anything near those two. "You're kidding...right?"
I shake my head 'no'
I saw Junsu widened his eyes in disbelief, i can actually hear him squeal on me but i didn't bother much if it was embarrassing for a mature 27 years old to even act like that.
"Oh really! You found him! Where is he huh? Where's your Yunho?"
"Yes?" I froze at my place. That voice. I can never not recognize that voice.
Yunho.
------
"Jaejoongie... My mom told me something...."
"what is it Yunnie?"
"well she said that I should not tell it to anyone, even to my Jaejoongie..."
"It's okay you can tell me..."
"....."
"Yunnie?"
{AN3: whew. i don't know if this fic makes sense at all. I don't know anymore.Jaejoong is so emo when it come to Yunnie TT-TT Please leave a comment. it helps me boost my author spirit... :D}
{AN4; if you have any questions or suggestion regarding this story, feel free to ask. ;D}
I am going to sleep....nah ;D