The games kittens play
The Ball Game
This game is a particular favourite of Josie, but Haggis finds it boring. The kitten takes a ball (usually one made of silver foil), and bats it around with its paws and carries it around in its mouth. The game has a very complicated scoring scheme which we haven't worked out yet, and ends when the kitten gets bored.
This game has a variant called Fetch, recently independently reinvented by Josie. We are, as you can imagine, unreasonably proud of her.
The "It's My $object, Get Your Own" Game
This is a game for two kittens. One claims possession of an object of some sort and then growls threateningly at the other whenever they come near. This is often combined with...
The Sponge-Hunting Game
A favourite of Haggis. The normal habitats of the Common Sponge are the kitchen sink and the cupboard under same. Haggis waits patiently for the appearance of an unguarded Sponge, and then grabs it, drags it all over the flat, and finally disembowels it on the living-room carpet, all while growling deeply. Finally he garlands his tail with pieces of the Sponge's entrails, as befits a mighty hunter such as himself.
The Red Dot Game
The Red Dot Game starts with the bipeds crashing around the flat, uttering ritual cries of "where the bloody hell have you hidden the laser pointer?" This stage is very important for Building Anticipation.
Once the initial phase is over, the Mysterious Red Dot appears! The cats then chase the Mysterious Red Dot around the flat. This used to be a very high-energy affair, with the kittens leaping up walls and chasing round and round (and round and round and round) the living-room carpet to get the MRD; it has now evolved into a more strategic game, with the cats sneaking up on the MRD using all available cover before suddenly pouncing on it.
The Wall Game
A variant on the Red Dot Game, to be played during the summer months. The MRD is replaced by the reflection of my smartphone on the bedroom wall as I attempt to check my email before getting out of bed. Josie in particular can attain impressive heights while leaping to grab it.
The Fly-Catching Game
When a fly is sighted, the hunt is on! Points are awarded for catching and eating the fly, but also for knocking over ornaments while chasing after it. Anything belonging to the landlady scores double.
The Climbing Game
As befits natives of Skye, the kittens loves to climb things¹. Haggis is undoubtedly the stronger climber, having made the dramatic first ascent of Bookshelf Route (K6c) in the living room. Josie's no slouch, though, with the FA of the closet testpiece Warm Jumper Shelf (K6b+) to her credit. Both kittens eschew the standard training paraphernalia of campus- and finger-boards in favour of a 3m tall cat tree covered in sisal. They also exclusively climb solo and barefoot; not for them the ethical grey areas of headpointing or piton use!
Haggis is a promising drytooler, too, having completed the bold Wormwood Pearl's Leg Route.
Haggis's current project is the futuristic Boiler Roof Continuation in the kitchen; the line follows the standard Fridge Route onto the summit of the Crockery Cupboard, then continues it via a massive dyno over the kitchen sink onto the top of the boiler. From there a tricky and exposed dyno should lead to the long-awaited FA of the Catfood Shelf. His previous attempts to reach the Catfood Shelf via the Ornament Shelf below have always failed at the crux roof move from the Ornament Shelf onto the Catfood Shelf; the line is rarely in condition, depending as it does on the seasonal drift of the Kitchen Table.
When Haggis finally completes his project (no doubt celebrating with his trademark Sending Yowl), you can be sure it will be extensively covered in the climbing press.
Haggis chillaxes on his portaledge.
The Tummy-Tickling Game
This is a game for one kitten and one biped. The kitten lies on its back, as if to say "Look! I have a tummy!" The biped must say "Yes! You have a tummy!" and then start tickling it.
The kitten may eventually get bored of this and walk away. Possibly.
The False Tummy-Tickling Game
This is a game for one kitten (who we may without loss of generality call "Haggis") and one biped. Haggis lies on his back, as if to say "Look! I have a tummy!". The biped, assuming that Haggis is playing the Tummy-Tickling Game, will start to tickle it. Whereupon Haggis says "And I also have TEETH AND CLAWS!!!!" and start using them on the unsuspecting biped's hand.
Thick gloves are advisable if you want to play this game for any length of time. Alternatively, it is possible to distract Haggis with a chewable watch-strap.
Watching KTTV
The cats love to watch KTTV (the view out of the kitchen window). They also love its affiliate station KTTV-2 (the view out of the bedroom window), which shows nature documentaries. They particularly like documentaries which involve BIRDS. Their favourite is to watch KTTV in HD, by climbing onto the windowframe when the window is open. This leads us to a new game which Haggis has recently invented:
The Scare The Crap Out Of The Bipeds By Climbing Out Onto The Windowsill Game
Self-explanatory.
¹ If you recognised the title of this post as a nod to Lito Tejeda-Flores' classic essay The Games Climbers Play, you're absolutely right.
This game is a particular favourite of Josie, but Haggis finds it boring. The kitten takes a ball (usually one made of silver foil), and bats it around with its paws and carries it around in its mouth. The game has a very complicated scoring scheme which we haven't worked out yet, and ends when the kitten gets bored.
This game has a variant called Fetch, recently independently reinvented by Josie. We are, as you can imagine, unreasonably proud of her.
The "It's My $object, Get Your Own" Game
This is a game for two kittens. One claims possession of an object of some sort and then growls threateningly at the other whenever they come near. This is often combined with...
The Sponge-Hunting Game
A favourite of Haggis. The normal habitats of the Common Sponge are the kitchen sink and the cupboard under same. Haggis waits patiently for the appearance of an unguarded Sponge, and then grabs it, drags it all over the flat, and finally disembowels it on the living-room carpet, all while growling deeply. Finally he garlands his tail with pieces of the Sponge's entrails, as befits a mighty hunter such as himself.
The Red Dot Game
The Red Dot Game starts with the bipeds crashing around the flat, uttering ritual cries of "where the bloody hell have you hidden the laser pointer?" This stage is very important for Building Anticipation.
Once the initial phase is over, the Mysterious Red Dot appears! The cats then chase the Mysterious Red Dot around the flat. This used to be a very high-energy affair, with the kittens leaping up walls and chasing round and round (and round and round and round) the living-room carpet to get the MRD; it has now evolved into a more strategic game, with the cats sneaking up on the MRD using all available cover before suddenly pouncing on it.
The Wall Game
A variant on the Red Dot Game, to be played during the summer months. The MRD is replaced by the reflection of my smartphone on the bedroom wall as I attempt to check my email before getting out of bed. Josie in particular can attain impressive heights while leaping to grab it.
The Fly-Catching Game
When a fly is sighted, the hunt is on! Points are awarded for catching and eating the fly, but also for knocking over ornaments while chasing after it. Anything belonging to the landlady scores double.
The Climbing Game
As befits natives of Skye, the kittens loves to climb things¹. Haggis is undoubtedly the stronger climber, having made the dramatic first ascent of Bookshelf Route (K6c) in the living room. Josie's no slouch, though, with the FA of the closet testpiece Warm Jumper Shelf (K6b+) to her credit. Both kittens eschew the standard training paraphernalia of campus- and finger-boards in favour of a 3m tall cat tree covered in sisal. They also exclusively climb solo and barefoot; not for them the ethical grey areas of headpointing or piton use!
Haggis is a promising drytooler, too, having completed the bold Wormwood Pearl's Leg Route.
Haggis's current project is the futuristic Boiler Roof Continuation in the kitchen; the line follows the standard Fridge Route onto the summit of the Crockery Cupboard, then continues it via a massive dyno over the kitchen sink onto the top of the boiler. From there a tricky and exposed dyno should lead to the long-awaited FA of the Catfood Shelf. His previous attempts to reach the Catfood Shelf via the Ornament Shelf below have always failed at the crux roof move from the Ornament Shelf onto the Catfood Shelf; the line is rarely in condition, depending as it does on the seasonal drift of the Kitchen Table.
When Haggis finally completes his project (no doubt celebrating with his trademark Sending Yowl), you can be sure it will be extensively covered in the climbing press.
Haggis chillaxes on his portaledge.
The Tummy-Tickling Game
This is a game for one kitten and one biped. The kitten lies on its back, as if to say "Look! I have a tummy!" The biped must say "Yes! You have a tummy!" and then start tickling it.
The kitten may eventually get bored of this and walk away. Possibly.
The False Tummy-Tickling Game
This is a game for one kitten (who we may without loss of generality call "Haggis") and one biped. Haggis lies on his back, as if to say "Look! I have a tummy!". The biped, assuming that Haggis is playing the Tummy-Tickling Game, will start to tickle it. Whereupon Haggis says "And I also have TEETH AND CLAWS!!!!" and start using them on the unsuspecting biped's hand.
Thick gloves are advisable if you want to play this game for any length of time. Alternatively, it is possible to distract Haggis with a chewable watch-strap.
Watching KTTV
The cats love to watch KTTV (the view out of the kitchen window). They also love its affiliate station KTTV-2 (the view out of the bedroom window), which shows nature documentaries. They particularly like documentaries which involve BIRDS. Their favourite is to watch KTTV in HD, by climbing onto the windowframe when the window is open. This leads us to a new game which Haggis has recently invented:
The Scare The Crap Out Of The Bipeds By Climbing Out Onto The Windowsill Game
Self-explanatory.
¹ If you recognised the title of this post as a nod to Lito Tejeda-Flores' classic essay The Games Climbers Play, you're absolutely right.