What does Jed's belief that you rationalize things away and have no idea how to test if this is true or not mean to Jed?
Err..
Seriously, I am not yet tired of you. But to be honest I am getting close.
I am going to tell you that I think you do rationalize. The fact that you don't even consider the possibility nor understand how to try and discover if it is true frightens me a little.
You made the point of not going through people's journal's looking for quotes where you were in my opinion hostile to Mike and I agree that would not have been productive and also why I didn't do it in the first place. Instead I choose things from the last two days which could hopefully highlight my point, but not beat it into the ground. The thing is that now maybe I think you should try it yourself as an exercise to see if you can re-read some of the things you have said.
I think everyone should try and have good self-esteem. However, you have on numerous occassions asked questions in and around the topic of "do you like me?" You say you are just curious. Here is an admission for you. I often wonder the same thing when I am having a down period. I don't ask though because it comes off as desperate and needy.
Confident individuals don't normally go around telling people they are confident, nor why they are confident. When they do it tends to reveal someone who is either self-absorbed and/or not really confident.
Anyway, I realize that I have said many things that can be hurtful and I apologize for that, I do not mean to hurt. But to some extent I really believe you need to hear some of them and at least think about it and consider it.
If you find that you believe I am totally full of crap and completely deluded, then fine. But at least you can have examined the case. Right now, I really believe you are living an unexamined life.
I am not trying to tear you down or be mean, but I do think you need to do some more self-examination. I also truly wish you luck not only in the future endeavors but in life in general.
Hmm, I guess I could have phrased my question to Jed a bit more carefully. I find that when entering into a debate with Jed, it is useful to define terms, as he and I often disagree on what words mean. I was trying to determine what his definition of "rationalize" is. I couldn't come up with anything better than "excusing one's words as something other than what one really meant", but I don't know if that's what he means, too. It's a pretty fluid word. I honestly don't know how one would go about testing for it, but I'm happy to discuss it.
I appreciate your concern for my level of self-examination, but I am comfortable in the knowledge that I am living my life the best way possible. There is a point where too much self-examination is self-defeating, and leads you to doubt yourself. I'm done with that.
I like to ask people their thoughts about me, because it is a constant source of amazement that people actually *do* think about me. I'm also interested to learn their outside perceptions of my inner knowledge. If that makes people believe that I am desperate and needy, so be it. They clearly don't know me that well. But given the reactions from various and sundry people to the question meme a few weeks ago, I have resolved not to ask publicly any more. Even though I've explained my reasoning more than once, people don't seem to want to believe me.
I am well aware of the fact that Mike finds joy in his friends and family; I was engaged to marry the man, after all. It is clear to me now that I should have put more of disclaimer on my post explaining that the conversation was all in my head, had little grounding in reality, and was intended to illustrate the complete lack of control I have over my own imagination, that I can't even get imaginary arguments to go my way (a fact which, at one point, amused Mike greatly).
I've been thinking more about stuff I've posted about Mike, and remembered that the two posts previous to the ones at issue here were recommending him to Laina as a firearms instructor and mentioning his presence when I broke my ostriches. So, really, I think you may be focusing on the negative here.
At any rate, I have no intention of forcing a friendship with anyone. I thank you again for your concern on my behalf.
Err..
Seriously, I am not yet tired of you. But to be honest I am getting close.
I am going to tell you that I think you do rationalize. The fact that you don't even consider the possibility nor understand how to try and discover if it is true frightens me a little.
You made the point of not going through people's journal's looking for quotes where you were in my opinion hostile to Mike and I agree that would not have been productive and also why I didn't do it in the first place. Instead I choose things from the last two days which could hopefully highlight my point, but not beat it into the ground. The thing is that now maybe I think you should try it yourself as an exercise to see if you can re-read some of the things you have said.
I think everyone should try and have good self-esteem. However, you have on numerous occassions asked questions in and around the topic of "do you like me?" You say you are just curious. Here is an admission for you. I often wonder the same thing when I am having a down period. I don't ask though because it comes off as desperate and needy.
Confident individuals don't normally go around telling people they are confident, nor why they are confident. When they do it tends to reveal someone who is either self-absorbed and/or not really confident.
Anyway, I realize that I have said many things that can be hurtful and I apologize for that, I do not mean to hurt. But to some extent I really believe you need to hear some of them and at least think about it and consider it.
If you find that you believe I am totally full of crap and completely deluded, then fine. But at least you can have examined the case. Right now, I really believe you are living an unexamined life.
I am not trying to tear you down or be mean, but I do think you need to do some more self-examination. I also truly wish you luck not only in the future endeavors but in life in general.
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I appreciate your concern for my level of self-examination, but I am comfortable in the knowledge that I am living my life the best way possible. There is a point where too much self-examination is self-defeating, and leads you to doubt yourself. I'm done with that.
I like to ask people their thoughts about me, because it is a constant source of amazement that people actually *do* think about me. I'm also interested to learn their outside perceptions of my inner knowledge. If that makes people believe that I am desperate and needy, so be it. They clearly don't know me that well. But given the reactions from various and sundry people to the question meme a few weeks ago, I have resolved not to ask publicly any more. Even though I've explained my reasoning more than once, people don't seem to want to believe me.
I am well aware of the fact that Mike finds joy in his friends and family; I was engaged to marry the man, after all. It is clear to me now that I should have put more of disclaimer on my post explaining that the conversation was all in my head, had little grounding in reality, and was intended to illustrate the complete lack of control I have over my own imagination, that I can't even get imaginary arguments to go my way (a fact which, at one point, amused Mike greatly).
I've been thinking more about stuff I've posted about Mike, and remembered that the two posts previous to the ones at issue here were recommending him to Laina as a firearms instructor and mentioning his presence when I broke my ostriches. So, really, I think you may be focusing on the negative here.
At any rate, I have no intention of forcing a friendship with anyone. I thank you again for your concern on my behalf.
Reply
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