(no subject)
i don't know where to begin. i'm feeling so overwhelmed by life right now. there's so many things and it feels like i have so little free time to get it all done in and life keeps slipping me by as i try to do 2 or 3 things. the years pass and i'm stuck in a working rut. dead end jobs, health problems, drama, bullshit. maybe i'm overreacting or being dramatic and every time i log on here it's to go boo-hoo woo is me. it's kinda pathetic and sickening. two days off a week to catch up on everything in life. laundry, piles of crap everywhere, contacting the doctor, painting, drawing, researching alternative medicine,running errands, getting groceries, paying bills, excercise, family, friends i don't know where to begin lately. my boyfriend's no help either since he's been going through some heavy shit, but has slowly been making progress. i need help...financially, emotionally in every aspect. he's coming around a little, but wasn't working or even getting outta be for the longest and if he did it would be to make a huge mess that i have to live with. fucking roach infestations and mice in my closet. how am i really supposed to be inspired to whip out that art work with all this stress? i'm making limits for myself probably. i don't know where to even begin. my work schedule doesn't help either cuz i work nights so when i get home i'll toke up in front of the computer for like two three hours and go to bed and then i just wake up at the last possible minute and run off to work wearing whatever i find on the floor. i also don't get much done when i come home from work cuz dave is sleeping and we live in studio so i have a little lamp on and don't want to wake him up. it feels like i can barely handle life like most people can. what's the solution though? i can barely even make the time to style my hair. just throw a rag on and forget about it.
i'm almost tempted to quit my job and run off to peru for a month or so. yesterday, a couzin that i had heard of who has the very same first and last name as me found me on facebook. we exchanged numbers and had a two hour conversation we just couldn"t stop chatting. it turns out the last time i saw her was when i was 7, she's 11 years older. i don't remember meeting her, but we could not stop talking and now she wants me to go visit her in her beachouse in virginia. i don't know what to do cuz i just started this job 7months ago and i have all these things coming up in the fall that i need time off for. i need to get a colonoscopy done which means asking for a day off and not eating solids for three days while working at a restaurant, i've been invited to another wedding and it's in the dominican republic and i only have 800 to my name. my dad wants me to go with him on a road trip and take time off from work. also old friends want me to meet up with them and call them. i don't know where to even being with everything. i feel like i'm getting covered in a stack of crap i have to get done and can't even handle one thing.
i'm almost tempted to quit my job and run off to peru for a month or so. yesterday, a couzin that i had heard of who has the very same first and last name as me found me on facebook. we exchanged numbers and had a two hour conversation we just couldn"t stop chatting. it turns out the last time i saw her was when i was 7, she's 11 years older. i don't remember meeting her, but we could not stop talking and now she wants me to go visit her in her beachouse in virginia. i don't know what to do cuz i just started this job 7months ago and i have all these things coming up in the fall that i need time off for. i need to get a colonoscopy done which means asking for a day off and not eating solids for three days while working at a restaurant, i've been invited to another wedding and it's in the dominican republic and i only have 800 to my name. my dad wants me to go with him on a road trip and take time off from work. also old friends want me to meet up with them and call them. i don't know where to even being with everything. i feel like i'm getting covered in a stack of crap i have to get done and can't even handle one thing.