Okay, so. It's getting really close to the end of the month, which means moving into my new place with the boyfriend and Blancabean--I told you about her, right? She's Snow White? Anyway. She says those little toe-rag dwarves are giving her shit and not paying her what they owe her, so I was hoping maybe you could give me some pointers on how to kick their asses if worse comes to worse.
...You know, other than actually kicking them like a damn football, since my legs alone are probably twice as tall as them.
That'd be door number two, there, cowboy, hence why I'm poking you about it. I got a feeling handling these guys won't be quite as easy as dealing with the Tweedles was.
You go find Blanca right the hell now, Alice, and get her as far away from those greedy little flesh hounds as soon as y'all can, 'fore they rape her or worse.
Dwarves are bottomfeeders, a worker race. They're highly sexed, like most fey, but their ideal mate are the sidhe, who won't look twice at 'em. They value physical perfection as much as they do treasure, and they'll do anything for both. Value money more, but still.
And they're patient, too...this is why people should come to me first: those dwarves been waitin' to get into that girl's pants for centuries. If they think they're gonna lose their chance, Alice, they just might make sure no one else can, they could kill her.
Sure 'nough do, one of them carnies came to m' shop when they first rolled into town, pasted up a flier in the window. It's out by some of the older warehouses, big clearing nobody's built in since '74.
I'll let Rory know 'm goin' out and meet ya there.
Hey magic man, you got a second?
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Got a few, even. What's up, doll?
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...You know, other than actually kicking them like a damn football, since my legs alone are probably twice as tall as them.
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You go find Blanca right the hell now, Alice, and get her as far away from those greedy little flesh hounds as soon as y'all can, 'fore they rape her or worse.
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And they're patient, too...this is why people should come to me first: those dwarves been waitin' to get into that girl's pants for centuries. If they think they're gonna lose their chance, Alice, they just might make sure no one else can, they could kill her.
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Do you know where the carnival's camped out at? I think I'm gonna head that way now.
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I'll let Rory know 'm goin' out and meet ya there.
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...Cowboy? I'm gonna just go ahead and warn you right now, regardless of how stupidly Bruce Banner it sounds: I'm not a pretty sight when I'm angry.
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