Ghost-y
Lately I have been feeling ghost-y--like what I do doesn't matter and is not relevant. Like I am not anchored to anything...too disconnected. Is it I made too many changes in my life too quickly? Of course in the grand scheme of things, nothing does matter. We all return to the earth and are swallowed up, compost. What is the point of all the striving? Too much movement with too little meaning. I have been sleeping a lot. I can't tell whether it might be living with city noises at night, thyroid, depression, or illness. Or the damn garbage truck that backs up a major thoroughfare at 6am. Beep, Beep, beep...BLEEP! (or at 4:20am, or 5 am)
I have been severely feeling my impending mortality--lemme tell you they are not cheery thoughts. My grandfather was recently hospitalized, then my brother went into intensive care for few days, and then one of my sixth grader's parents committed suicide, so I went to a funeral, too. Then I got sick. Still am. The issue of Mother Earth on the extinction of species was not a joyous read to follow all that. What are we leaving for our children?
My three jobs run out at the end of the school year--about two weeks left. The San Francisco Unified School District has not paid me since February. Yup, they currently owe me a several grand and nobody returns calls from the contracts office. Tomorrow I head to the office in person and start working my way up the food chain...or perhaps my students don't get grades. Sadly most districts are all about student accountability, but not much on learning. So a person is supervising this class. Good. Whatever. I am tired of public schools. They are feeble and wasting tons of money. Private schools are so strange in philosophy. Ach. The vowels come from the cosmos. Would you like a crystal to hang over your homework?
Meanwhile at my other department head is consistently confused on what the methods and goals of the foreign language teacher should be in this school. After 8 years of "exposure" to German sounds and poetry the kids know damn little and are frustrated...wouldn't you be? Sorry, 18th century poetry is not a vehicle for language acquisition...and two hours a week is laughably inadequate--if that is your child's language program, it is a farce. It is not anywhere near the minimum contact hours to ensure real acquisition. Don't be fooled.
Skip Pan's Labyrinth--it is basically a war movie, with lots of point blank brutality, woven around a light dose of fantasy. I have seen enough up close brutality. Not thanks.
Happy things
Eating Dutch babies (Joy of Cooking recipe)--yummy.
Seeing K & T & baby Lillian (not edible--but sweet and she took right to me--so they could eat dinner with both hands)
Sunshine & Nature
My plate is finally almost clean of obligations
An odd movie, Ushpizin (not happy-intriguing)
Sorry. I haven't posted in forever...and now a mudslide.
I have been severely feeling my impending mortality--lemme tell you they are not cheery thoughts. My grandfather was recently hospitalized, then my brother went into intensive care for few days, and then one of my sixth grader's parents committed suicide, so I went to a funeral, too. Then I got sick. Still am. The issue of Mother Earth on the extinction of species was not a joyous read to follow all that. What are we leaving for our children?
My three jobs run out at the end of the school year--about two weeks left. The San Francisco Unified School District has not paid me since February. Yup, they currently owe me a several grand and nobody returns calls from the contracts office. Tomorrow I head to the office in person and start working my way up the food chain...or perhaps my students don't get grades. Sadly most districts are all about student accountability, but not much on learning. So a person is supervising this class. Good. Whatever. I am tired of public schools. They are feeble and wasting tons of money. Private schools are so strange in philosophy. Ach. The vowels come from the cosmos. Would you like a crystal to hang over your homework?
Meanwhile at my other department head is consistently confused on what the methods and goals of the foreign language teacher should be in this school. After 8 years of "exposure" to German sounds and poetry the kids know damn little and are frustrated...wouldn't you be? Sorry, 18th century poetry is not a vehicle for language acquisition...and two hours a week is laughably inadequate--if that is your child's language program, it is a farce. It is not anywhere near the minimum contact hours to ensure real acquisition. Don't be fooled.
Skip Pan's Labyrinth--it is basically a war movie, with lots of point blank brutality, woven around a light dose of fantasy. I have seen enough up close brutality. Not thanks.
Happy things
Eating Dutch babies (Joy of Cooking recipe)--yummy.
Seeing K & T & baby Lillian (not edible--but sweet and she took right to me--so they could eat dinner with both hands)
Sunshine & Nature
My plate is finally almost clean of obligations
An odd movie, Ushpizin (not happy-intriguing)
Sorry. I haven't posted in forever...and now a mudslide.