SHATTERED DREAMS
Why do i even bother to still care? why do i try so hard and get absolutly nowhere? why do i put myself thorough so much pain and torment? why do i keep failing at no matter what i do? what is so wrong with me that i just get repelled? must i weigh under a certain amount or have big tits? even worse do i have to have both? somewhere inside me there is something good. i know it was once radiating from me and now ask where its at i couldnt tell you. what i think the main question is do i even care if it comes badk? thinking about it i want to just be an empty shell. no feelings would ever haunt or torment me ever again. who ever said life was unfair should be given an award. thats the most honest thing i have ever heard in my entire life. people i thought cared are in question i'm done careing. should i care is the question? seems like no one gives a rat ass about me so i guess i should be the same way. the fucked up part about it is that i'm a caring person by nature which i have finally came to realize is my downfall. i care too dam much. i feel like i'm in a crowded rooom screaming as loud as i can and no one hears my lonely voice. (and now a vision has came accross my my eyes). once the gun goes off everyone seemed to hear it but cant seem to figure where the hell it came from and as my body just lays there and my blood running everywhere the people just go on about their business like i'm not even there. guess i was rightabout people and not caring i wish i could just drop off the face of the earth. thrown into space. my mind is filled with so much shit. god i hate my tormented life. there is nothing that ever comes good to me! what have i dont that is so wrong fro me to be lonely? i am done rambling on about my pathetic life. no one is ever going to realize it anyways or should say realize me. and once again as i fall asleep alone i wish, i beg, for death to come and find me. just goes to show that when you want to die it wont come and when u dont it will. god dam i hate this life, and world i (dont) life in.