I'll follow you into the dark

[womansized]

I should have known that Buffy wouldn't understand. I mean, how could she understand that someone might actually want to be with me over her? It wasn't even like she liked Connor. I couldn't tell who she liked anymore considering anytime she did find someone she always kept it really quiet like some big secret that no one was cool enough to know

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[john_allerdyce]

I listened as she asked about the condom and I couldn't even remember if we had used protection. I couldn't exactly explain that normally I wouldn't have to worry about it because I would rape a girl and kill her, or have Oz kill her, but this was different. I didn't rape Dawn and I had no desire to kill her. Well, I still wanted to turn her sometimes so she could be with me for an eternity, but that was neither here nor there.

"You're pregnant?" I asked, processing everything she had said. Could I have gotten her pregnant? I guess she had a point about my father and mother being different from other vampires. They had managed to have me, but I was a prophecy. Maybe there was another prophecy. "It's not Spike's. I mean, even if it is biologically which I doubt because he's common. He doesn't have the exact genetic make up that I have..."

I let my words trail off for a moment as I headed to my car. A vampire driving around in the sunlight. Only in LA and only with my father's money to provide all the precautions. I had to get to her and help her through this because it didn't matter who had gotten her pregnant. That baby was mine. Ours.

"If you're pregnant you don't have to worry, Dawn. I'll be the father to the baby. You aren't on your own here. Just tell me where I can find you so we can talk."

I caught her question well after I'd asked my own. Couldn't tell her the truth really, but I didn't want to lie completely either. "I've been taking some time to figure out how much being turned has changed me. Getting used to the new abilities and all of that stuff. I'm sorry I haven't been around. It won't happen again."

[womansized]

I sniffed back the tears, already feeling a little calmed just by his voice. Because I wasn't alone and he was going to be with me and I wasn't going to have to be one of those girls on Jerry Springer who lived in a trailer park with curlers in my hair and a can of beer permanantly attached to one hand. Connor would take care of me, just like he had been since I met him. Even if he did take off for really long periods of time and I had no idea what he was up to.

But I guess he just needed to be alone, right? I could sort of understand that. Even if I was the only one who never really wanted to be alone and always ended up that way. All these brave fighter type people, like my sister and Spike and Connor. They always needed their alone time. All I could do was try and understand but right now? My heart was beating too fast and I was freaking out because I thought I was pregnant and I was only eighteen! Barely! I was too young to be pregnant.

"Okay, wait....it's daylight out. How are you going to get here?" Suddenly images of Spike running into our old house back in Sunnydale with smoke coming off of his blanket. If Spike ran across town in a blanket to see Buffy I knew Connor would find a way to get to my house.

"You can just let yourself in because I don't think any of the band members are home and I'm in the bathroom." And that took care of the invitation because I didn't want him to go all poof into dust outside of my door just because I needed him during daylight hours.

[john_allerdyce]

She was at that apartment that Oz let her stay at. Wondered if Oz had broke down and ate the girl I left in his cage yet. I'd have to check on them later. As soon as I was finished with Dawn, I'd need to check in with my daddy. If anyone could figure out this pregnancy stuff it would be him.

I parked the car as close to the door as I could and grabbed the blanket in the back of the car to shield me as I sprinted for the front door, finding it unlocked just like said. At least I didn't get burned on my way in. I set the blanket down and locked the door behind me. No reason to have anyone just walking in while we were talking.

Luckily the curtains were closed inside the apartment so I could move around with no worries. It wasn't hard to find her and it broke my heart to see her curled up on the bathroom floor crying. I dropped to my knees beside her, pulling her into my arms.

"It's okay, baby, we're going to get through this, I promise." I whispered in a soothing voice as I rocked her close to me trying to calm her down. This was going to be my baby and Spike could back the fuck off because if he tried anything funny I'd stake him.

[womansized]

It was too long until he got there. Well, actually it was only a few minutes but they ticked by slowly as I cried on the bathroom floor. What was I gonna do? I'd be a teenage mom and what kind of life could I give a kid when I was still just a kid? And her Dad would be a vampire? I felt so white trash and just...maybe I never should have moved out of the hotel because all I ever did was screw things up since I'd moved out. Buffy never would have let me get away with this. Wait. Buffy wouldn't have even noticed.

He wrapped me up in his arms and I cried into his chest as he rocked me back and forth like some big baby cause that's what I was totally acting like. I was just a stupid kid! And now I was gonna have another stupid kid all on my own except I wouldn't really be alone because Connor would be with me. I believed him when he said everything was gonna be okay.

"I'm sorry...I just...." I shook my head and pulled my head away from his chest if only to wipe the tears that were streaming down my face. "When I got up and I was sick I panicked and I remembered what happened and that we didnt' use any protection and then I remembered my period is late and oh God I just panicked. I'm sorry for making you come over here during the day but..." I missed you when you were gone.

I didn't wanna be one of those girlfriends that was like always in my boyfriend's space and trying to make him be whatever I wanted him to be. I loved Connor for who he was.

I loved him. I bliniked at that, because I hadn't thought of it that way before.

"I didn't know what else to do." I finally finished apologetically. I should have known that Connor would drop everything to help me if I was in trouble.

[john_allerdyce]

"You did the right thing, Dawn." I assured her in a soft voice. I hated that she was this upset and I knew I needed to spend more time with her. "I've been busy, but I am never too busy for you. You can call my cell phone any time and I will come to you. I promise."

I scooped her off the bathroom floor and carried her into the living room, settling her against me on the couch so I was still holding her. My fingers smoothed back her hair as I waited for her to calm down. A baby. We were going to have a baby. A miracle child of our own and I wouldn't make the mistakes that Angel and Holtz had made with me. Dawn wouldn't make the mistakes her parents and Buffy made with her. This child would be loved and never ignored.

"I can talk to my dad. We'll keep it quiet and he can get you a doctor's appointment at Wolfram and Hart. They specialize in miracle pregnancies and we'll be able to know exactly what is going on and how to best take care of you. I promise, Dawn, you are not in this alone. I love you and I love this child. You'll be my priority. My family is always my priority."

[womansized]

Next thing I knew I was on the couch and not on the cold bathroom floor anymore which was good because the cold was probably bad for the baby. And oh my God I drank alot with Spike that night. What if I hurt the baby? Could I hurt it so early on? I was already a terrible mother who was going to like accidentally trip and fall on a clothes hanger and abort my own baby. Oh God.

I blinked when Connor started talking about miracle children and Wolfram and Hart and special doctors and.....I had to stop and take a breath as I looked up at him, tears still staining my face. Snuggling closer to him. "I'm scared." I admited to him as if he couldn't already tell.

"When can you get an appointment? I want to know now." I knew that I wouldn't be able to think about anything else until I knew for sure. Sitting up a little bit I kissed him impulsively before wrapping my arms around him again and hugging him tightly.

"I'm so glad you're here."

[cordys_bitch]

I kissed her gently and held her tight. I hated that she was scared which was strange considering how much I enjoyed inflicting fear into everyone else. Dawn was special though. She was my one good thing to hold on to tight and protect from the world.

"I can go see my dad and ask him to arrange everything." I said, pulling away from the embrace slowly so that I could look at her. I wiped away the last of her tears with my thumb and smiled at her.

"It's going to be alright. He won't say anything to anyone, Dawn. I'll go and explained everything to him and as soon as I have an appointment time for you, I'll come by and pick you up. I'll be right beside you every step of the way, okay?"

I was going to need to go home and ask Daddy to meet me there because I didn't trust talking about things like this at the firm. Once he knew what was going on and arranged for the tests, then I'd take Dawn there to have her checked out. I was going to be a father. That was something I'd always wanted and when I got turned I thought I lost my chance. Fate had intervened and now Dawn and I were going to be parents of a miracle child.

[womansized]

Oh God. What if he was just saying that but really he was gonna leave and never come back. He'd run screaming from me and this baby that probably wasn't even normal because it's father was a vampire. Not that there was anything wrong with Connor or Spike cause they like totally had souls and stuff but it wouldn't be like a normal baby.

One look in Connor's eyes proved that he would come back. I knew he would. He even looked kinda happy even though I was really wigged out.

I took a deep breath and sniffed back a few more tears as I slowly climbed off of him and sat up next to him on the couch. What else could I do but nod at him? He was gonna tell Angel. That kind of made my heart race a little bit because Angel and Buffy used to be and...how did I know he wouldn't tell her? I didn't want anyone to know before I had the chance to tell them. Especially my older sister.

"Okay." I finally said slowly because if Connor said that Angel woudln't tell anyone than I believed him. Besides, if Wolfram and Hart could pull strings and see me today then I would go there today and do whatever I had to do.

"I'll be here, waiting for you." I didn't understand why I couldn't go with him.

[cordys_bitch]

"It's best if I go by myself, you know?" I said when I saw the questions reflecting in her eyes. I hated that she was so freaked out and I wished I knew how to make it better. The fact was, I couldn't take her to see my dad until I had a chance to talk to him first.

"I'm probably in for a major lecture. I mean, I'm happy about this and I think you will be to once you have a little time to adjust to it, but you know how parents are. He's going to be big with the pacing and lecturing and I'm rather not have an audience when he starts treating me like a little kid."

Hopefully that was enough to calm her nerves. I mean, she wouldn't want anyone around when Buffy had her big freak out, right? Sometmes you just want to get your ass chewed out in private and in all honesty I wasn't sure if Daddy was going to flip out on me or not. I had a feeling me having a kid with Buffy's little sister wasn't big on his hopes and dreams list.

I leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I'll be back as soon as I can. If you need anything just call my cell, okay? I love you, Dawn. We're going to get through this, I swear. I'm not going to let you down."