None of this is real anyway...
Right? All fake? Just a dress rehersal for the shit yet to come? I sure hope so, cause I dunno what I am doing anymore.
Last day at the department tomorrow. Been a comfort zone fr far too long any way so I am glad to be rid of it... but that doesnt make it any easier to go. Just like any of the women I have been with, excited to have me around t first but it only take a little bit of time before the secrets are held back and I become the unwanted joke. As if I am supposed to know I am not wanted around anymore without being told.
Well, yeah I guess I should have known that a few times.
Guess I just never expected an entire employing body, a group of people to be so dissapointing. Theres another word there, that needs to be used, but I can't put my finger on it just now.
Anyway, Christmas is coming... I haven't bought a damn thing for anyone. Totally self absorbed right now. Sorry everyone. Got a few things going on and really, just been thinking about my self. My lack of future or vision... or dare I say cowardace to pursure any bit of vision I do in fact have anymore.
I want to either scream, or maybe just sit quietly. Either way, this will be the year of change. Cmfort zones must be challenged and then removed.
Esse quam videri. "to be, rather than to appear"
Last day at the department tomorrow. Been a comfort zone fr far too long any way so I am glad to be rid of it... but that doesnt make it any easier to go. Just like any of the women I have been with, excited to have me around t first but it only take a little bit of time before the secrets are held back and I become the unwanted joke. As if I am supposed to know I am not wanted around anymore without being told.
Well, yeah I guess I should have known that a few times.
Guess I just never expected an entire employing body, a group of people to be so dissapointing. Theres another word there, that needs to be used, but I can't put my finger on it just now.
Anyway, Christmas is coming... I haven't bought a damn thing for anyone. Totally self absorbed right now. Sorry everyone. Got a few things going on and really, just been thinking about my self. My lack of future or vision... or dare I say cowardace to pursure any bit of vision I do in fact have anymore.
I want to either scream, or maybe just sit quietly. Either way, this will be the year of change. Cmfort zones must be challenged and then removed.
Esse quam videri. "to be, rather than to appear"