Not sure, but I am okay with that.
We all do stupid things.
Just so happens, mine always involve women. The denial thing. Not so sure I am going to call it that anymore. More so, blinded by desire. Blinded by beauty? Blinded by gorgeous titties... definately.
Sorry to be so vulgar. It's a compliment, beleive it or not. Still though. I refute any accusation that I was just trying to get laid. I loved her. I still do, although the specifics of that have changed greatly. Having stepped back for a little while, I cannot really say I am attracted to her but rather a version of her I had only in my head.
Not that it doesn't exist. Only that it doesn't exisit right now.
And in so recognizing, God has granted me the wisdom to see that I really care for her only as a sister. By no means do our present persons line us up to be together at this time, though bless her heart she stuck it out for a long time. I cannot comment as to weather or not our persons will ever line up in the future, but that doesn't really matter.
She needs to focus on her. I need to focus on me.
We need to focus on Christ.
It's yet another moment of clarity that has arisen through days of much prayer, and God moving my heart rapidly into a period of radical revelation and change. Where I go from here I am not sure. And as I said I am okay with that. God will pull and nudge until I either die or fall into what ever it was he is pulling me towards.
She did a good thing here. This will be better for the both of us. I am probably going to go broke with the amount of rebound spending I am going to be doing, but thats okay. Its all in the name of activities that bring me to God.
Just so happens, mine always involve women. The denial thing. Not so sure I am going to call it that anymore. More so, blinded by desire. Blinded by beauty? Blinded by gorgeous titties... definately.
Sorry to be so vulgar. It's a compliment, beleive it or not. Still though. I refute any accusation that I was just trying to get laid. I loved her. I still do, although the specifics of that have changed greatly. Having stepped back for a little while, I cannot really say I am attracted to her but rather a version of her I had only in my head.
Not that it doesn't exist. Only that it doesn't exisit right now.
And in so recognizing, God has granted me the wisdom to see that I really care for her only as a sister. By no means do our present persons line us up to be together at this time, though bless her heart she stuck it out for a long time. I cannot comment as to weather or not our persons will ever line up in the future, but that doesn't really matter.
She needs to focus on her. I need to focus on me.
We need to focus on Christ.
It's yet another moment of clarity that has arisen through days of much prayer, and God moving my heart rapidly into a period of radical revelation and change. Where I go from here I am not sure. And as I said I am okay with that. God will pull and nudge until I either die or fall into what ever it was he is pulling me towards.
She did a good thing here. This will be better for the both of us. I am probably going to go broke with the amount of rebound spending I am going to be doing, but thats okay. Its all in the name of activities that bring me to God.