Fog
Ever felt like all day your brain is just going though a fog? I mean we all just live, get an education, try to get a good job, spend money, try to find that "one person" then some populate and then we die. It all just it seems really monotonous. Life isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm starting to see why so many people (including myself don't think I'm counting myself better than others) turn to drugs. I mean really it makes this life almost mean something, yeah it's sort lived (depending on your cash situation and access to the drug of choice) but still all and all I'm hard pressed to believe anyone can spend their life always high, trippin or rollin (everything was better on cocaine but that doesn't mean I'd want to live every single second of my life that way). But sober what is really left for us, for our generation. Everyone is going to college to attempt to get a good job (which few are really open in this economy we have today). Our money means almost nothing (its just paper, pretty much backed by nothing) we have nothing left. No good cause to fight for (except maybe the planet) but thats all turning to shit anyways (try as we may I don't believe we can change the destruction we've already done). I just don't how i got here, so much has changed for me, I feel so lost. I don't know who I am, what I want to do, it doesn't make sense anymore. I just don't understand why I bother (why any of us do). I ask myself if the world ended tomorrow would I be happy with who I am or what I've done.... true answer, No I've been evil, manipulative, cruel, vicious, cynical, and depressed most of my time in this life (someone has to be the devil's advocate right? we can't just all be hunky-dory can we?). If everyone was given 48 hours to live I think everyone would change something, do something, be the person they thought they couldn't be, live for the moment. I know that we can't do that everyday (it's just not feasible) but I wanna know who said, I want to know why? Why was that decided why does almost everyone on earth know that how they truly want to act, live, dress, speak, (in at least some regard) would be considered "unexceptable." Personally it's all just royally fucked up.
Disclaimer: I was not on drugs while writing this.
Disclaimer: I was not on drugs while writing this.