buddy system.
I want to talk.
I want to say words.
I can talk about useless things. Pointless things. Silly things. It doesn't really matter anymore. It cutsies, it's goofy. Buuuuuuut. Yeah.
I realized the other night. Saturday night, was it? Yeah. When I returned from the mall with Amber and Kelly, I was expecting a shit storm. The whole car ride back I was nervous, but the closer I got to the house, the stronger I felt. I felt different. I felt mature. I felt. Big.
It was cool. Maybe a little scary, but the fact that I felt big overrode that fear. I was ready to face whatever complications were about to come my way.
Before I had left the mall, I had given Stephen a call and he sounded depressed, stressed and when he told me what was going on (which was orchestrated of my own doing after I stole all the booze and hid it in my closet so people couldn't drink it), I knew that someone had to step up and deal with the situation and Stephen shouldn't have to deal with it alone, especially if he had nothing to do with what I did.
I guess that's one of the things I've noticed now that I'm living on my own. I'm learning more about responsibilities here than I did at home (no offense, Mom) just because in a house of volatile (I love using that word) teenagers (regardless if you're over 19), no one is inherently responsible if their parents aren't around, and that needs to change.
I just feel bad, because everyone looks to Stephen for answers because he's the one with the checkbook. I just wonder, if he didn't have all that money, how many people would actually look to him? Personally, even though I've taken money from Stephen over the time I've known him, and not always paid him back, I've always looked to him more because he has a very definable sense of views that separate him from everyone else I've ever met. He's cocky, sure. But, like he wrote in his journal, he has a considerable amount of honor and respect.
Everyone knows I have a man-crush on Stephen. Psssh. Obviously.
But I don't think Stephen should have to do all of this alone. So that's my mission from now on. I will be the Bucky to his Captain America.
Especially with Renee still out of the country, he needs a buddy. If he's my best friend, I need to be his.
Uh. Mhm. Yes.
I want to say words.
I can talk about useless things. Pointless things. Silly things. It doesn't really matter anymore. It cutsies, it's goofy. Buuuuuuut. Yeah.
I realized the other night. Saturday night, was it? Yeah. When I returned from the mall with Amber and Kelly, I was expecting a shit storm. The whole car ride back I was nervous, but the closer I got to the house, the stronger I felt. I felt different. I felt mature. I felt. Big.
It was cool. Maybe a little scary, but the fact that I felt big overrode that fear. I was ready to face whatever complications were about to come my way.
Before I had left the mall, I had given Stephen a call and he sounded depressed, stressed and when he told me what was going on (which was orchestrated of my own doing after I stole all the booze and hid it in my closet so people couldn't drink it), I knew that someone had to step up and deal with the situation and Stephen shouldn't have to deal with it alone, especially if he had nothing to do with what I did.
I guess that's one of the things I've noticed now that I'm living on my own. I'm learning more about responsibilities here than I did at home (no offense, Mom) just because in a house of volatile (I love using that word) teenagers (regardless if you're over 19), no one is inherently responsible if their parents aren't around, and that needs to change.
I just feel bad, because everyone looks to Stephen for answers because he's the one with the checkbook. I just wonder, if he didn't have all that money, how many people would actually look to him? Personally, even though I've taken money from Stephen over the time I've known him, and not always paid him back, I've always looked to him more because he has a very definable sense of views that separate him from everyone else I've ever met. He's cocky, sure. But, like he wrote in his journal, he has a considerable amount of honor and respect.
Everyone knows I have a man-crush on Stephen. Psssh. Obviously.
But I don't think Stephen should have to do all of this alone. So that's my mission from now on. I will be the Bucky to his Captain America.
Especially with Renee still out of the country, he needs a buddy. If he's my best friend, I need to be his.
Uh. Mhm. Yes.