poor me!!
man, life is so....there's no words that i can think of right now. it's not that i'm depressed, it's just so many things are going wrong in my life right now, that it's really hard to stay happy. i mean, my mom is undescribable. i can't stand living with her, i wish i had somewhere to go. she yells at me all the time, grounds me a lot of the time, and she's hit me a few times before, and i'm just done with her. me and her get into arguments all the time. sometimes we end up just yelling at each other. and some days are okay, but i know that things are gonna go back like they always are in a day or so. things at school aren't going too good. i met this guy, and i started liking him a lot, and then before we went off for winter break, he said that he might be moving back to where he used to live, which was in newport i think, or somewhere like that. and that day after school, i started crying when me and my sister were on our way home. does that mean i'm pathetic? i was hoping that whole break that he would stay at valley, and he does. then he was text messaging with my sister saying how he came back cause he though he might have a chance with me. which i thought was really awesome!! but then nothing ends up happening. then a couple people told me that they saw him kissing another girl and holding her hand everyday after school. and he told me that he maked her kiss him and that he doesn't want to be a dick, and that he doesn't like her in that way either, but we all know that he just liked kissing her. that made me pretty pissed off, cause i thought that he liked me. does that make me sound desperate? so now, i just wanna forget about him cause he's made me sad, and i don't wanna feel anymore sad then i already do like everyday. i like him, but i know things wouldn't work out because he seems like that one of those guys who's a "player". so he's out of the picture for sure. why can't i just find a guy who seems right for me. i don't like being alone. it sux so much, i just want someone who can make me laugh, has a good personality of course, isn't all about drama cause i hate drama, and someone who i can hang out with and have a good time. and someone who has atleast some of the same interests as me. screw it, it doesn't seem like there's anyone out there for me, so maybe i should just give up on guys all together. people always say, stop looking and that person will come to you. but i've tried that, and nothing happened. am i some kind of repellent, i hope not. i just don't undrestand why it is so damn hard to find someone that likes me the same way i like him. but this is all i have to say for now!!