(no subject)
I go back home tomorrow and what a relief it will be. I don't even want to know how many times I've broken down crying here. I did it last night because I'm so stressed out about college and next year and everything... It's all a bit much for me to handle because all I want to do is to put my life on hold and just live in the moment. I'm too young... I haven't LIVED yet. It's been one stress after another and now that I finally started having care free fun... I don't want it to end.
I have so many plans for when I get back but so many worries. My chest feels like one big ball of negative energy because of all the stress. I'm tired of worry about family and how they feel if I go a certain way. I'm tired of having to make decions that will send my mom and I back even further when we're steadily progressing. I'm tired of worrying what my friends will think and how they'll feel if I go away to college.
Why do I have to worry so much?
Some of you will say I don't have to but I do because I'm too caring of a person. I'm too forgiving aswell. I set myself up for stress and worry and pain. I set myself up to be lied to because I'm too trusting.
Life needs to die.
I have so many plans for when I get back but so many worries. My chest feels like one big ball of negative energy because of all the stress. I'm tired of worry about family and how they feel if I go a certain way. I'm tired of having to make decions that will send my mom and I back even further when we're steadily progressing. I'm tired of worrying what my friends will think and how they'll feel if I go away to college.
Why do I have to worry so much?
Some of you will say I don't have to but I do because I'm too caring of a person. I'm too forgiving aswell. I set myself up for stress and worry and pain. I set myself up to be lied to because I'm too trusting.
Life needs to die.