Just better to take another day to rest
I'll go back to work tomorrow. Tommy and I thought about it and it is a good choice. I'll bounce back in the groove tomorrow. I just have a lot to sort out and needed down time to do it. My Mother's Day was the best one in 3 years. Tommy was cute filling my day with nice memories. He took me to the mall and bought me a new shirt. It's hot pink/watermelon. I really love it. Very basic but something I will wear a lot. I was thirsty when we got there (steroids dry me out) so Tommy suggested we grab a coke in the mall. I told him I didn't want to set myself up to be snubbed on Mothers Day and didn't want Lacie to think I was trying to see her on Mother's Day. Tommy looked out in the mall and saw the girl sitting at the cart that Lace works at and said it was clear Lace wasn't the girl working. As we got closer I said, "Are you sure that's not Lace." He assured me again and said, "We can just leave the mall if you don't even want to chance seeing her here." I said no if she's not working it what's the chances of us seeing her here. Well the closer I got I could see that this girl was really really skinny and had really bleached blond hair. I felt like it must be the other girl we see on Monday nights usually since we try to walk around the mall on Lacies night off. The girl then turned her face where I could see it and it was Lace. She was extremely thin looking even in her face but it was her. I decided to just not look and try to not trigger her to call security or call her boyfriend to come up there to protect her. She hasn't pulled that in a while but it being Mother's Day I could see that whole scenario playing out. I guess after going through that a several times you are just gun shy about even trying to enjoy the mall. I haven't gone to the mall in a couple years but I finally decided that she is just going to have to stop feeling like our family is on her turf and get way over it. I certainly will not approach her, she knows where I am, I'm tired of being the one to reach out and then have her feel like she is doing me a huge favor because I am a pathetic person. One day she will know what it's like to have a child and she will feel so bad for how she has treated her family. If she doesn't then she just doesn't she is missing something key in her developement as a person. She has to feel very alone and very isolated trying to complete herself and her heart where there is a void that only a family can fill. It maybe many years down the road but when she is ready she knows we are here but it will because she knows we love her and she is ready to be a part of our family.