Those Crazy Southerners
It's kind of an old article, but it's frigging hilarious. Disclaimer: any Southerners reading this may be offended, but it's the Onion, so don't take it too seriously. Besides, the South sucks. :P
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28559
And now, some little-known facts about Robert E. Lee:
Robert E. Lee's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Robert E. Lee is currently suing NBC, claiming that 'Law and Order' are the names of his right and left legs.
Robert E. Lee never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
Robert E. Lee does not sleep. He waits.
If you can see Robert E. Lee, he can see you. If you can't see Robert E. Lee, you may be just seconds away from death.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Robert E. Lee instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Robert E. Lee built a time machine and went forward in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Lee met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Robert E. Lee. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
Robert E. Lee once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"