3283: Teacher's Pet - Avery Longbottom
- Good luck everyone on the fanfic contest. I've already gotten one entry.
- Here is a forum thread over on the pit called definition of a “flame”
- Our Flashback Sue is... I planned on going farther back with the new teacher tag... but this... this one stood out.
TITLE: Teacher's Pet
PERPETRATOR: theupsidedownquibbler
SUE-O-METER:
(awful)
COVER/BANNER ART: It's a clip of their avatar. I can't make it out.
SUMMARY:”Avery Longbottom is the first ever student teacher to grace the halls of Hogwarts. Unfortunately for her, her best mate's little brother is her student.” When I read the summary I thought she would be the sister of Neville, but she isn't.
FULL NAME: Avery Longbottom
SPECIES: She is Neville Longbottom's daughter and the sister of one of Albus Potter's friends
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: The story starts of with Avery whining about how everyone thinks she's a sweet girl but she's really not. Flitwick announces she will be his student teacher and effectively replacing him the following year when he retires. She then tries to prove that she's not a sweet girl by ranting about Albus and his misbehavior in her head. Flitwick lets her take over the class and she proceeds to treat the seventh years like children and asks for spells they need help on. (This is so he can go to sleep by the way.) Albus needs help on a first year spell, Wingardium Leviosa. (Really?) They then get into an argument because Albus doesn't like her calling him by her last name despite the fact he should be smart enough to know why. She of course treats him like shit. Turns out he was faking it. We then jump to the second chapter and find out that she had moved into the flat with James, confirming my theory that she likely isn't old enough to technically be a student teacher. She whines about how her mother and Ginny were planning the wedding and we get this line. “The two of them just couldn't see us as friends and so James had ended up in the stylish two bedroom flat we had put the down payment on, and I had stayed at home, living in my childhood room. I'm still not sure how he managed to convince me that he should get the flat. I had; however, gotten my own key and it was with said key that I found myself sitting on James' couch waiting for him to return home from Quidditch practice.” James then proceeds to chew her out for her treatment of his little brother. Thigns settles down and James smacks her for fun, which causes Ginny to threaten to ground him. He then tells Ginny "Your son is an abomination, and I blame you! You know, he tried to ruin Avery's first class! You need to talk to him!"
ORIGIN: Flitwick is planning on retiring and decides a student teacher is the way to go. Apparently the idea behind a student teacher is that they take over the entire class on day one.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: I think I'll start off with the fact Flitwick admits that Avery is quite young but still lets her teach the seventh years of whom her brother is supposed to be a member of. Reading the first chapter I don't think there is the usual age gap you'd expect a student teacher to have. Instead I think she graduated the year before. She treats the seventh years like children despite the fact every single one of them is legally an adult in the Wizarding world. Despite the fact she is so “good” at Charms she isn't able to recognize WL as a first year spell. She also acts like a complete brat that is highly self entitled. She then manages to not come across as very bright with her interaction with James and the flat. She manages to get James to side with her.
NOTES: I decided to look at the writer's profile I found this. “My name is Nikki, and I absolutely love Harry Potter. I'm a Creative Writing major at my University and sometimes get annoyed at the volume of pretentious writing I'm expected to come out with, so I escape to good old fanfiction!” With that kind of attitude I'm really not surprised that this writer hasn't updated in over two years.
This also said, I at first wondered if Avery's characterization was intentional. We then got to the place where Ginny threatened to ground James and he mouths off to her pretty much blaming her for Albus ruining Avery's first day teaching and suddenly she's not wanting to ground him. Why are all the characters acting like immature teenagers who have no concept of the real world?
SAMPLE:
Secretly, I am an extremely angry and hateful person. I know it's really not nice to think that way, but I'm sick and tired of everyone thinking I'm this sweet girl who never has a bad thing to say about anyone. It's a lie. I have bad things to say about people all the time, especially right now. Professor Flitwick is addressing our Seventh Year Charms class whilst Potter keeps winking at me in a disgusting way. I'm absolutely positive the grimace on my face is unattractive because other students in the class have been giving me strange looks. It's not my fault though, that I've had to deal with Potter all my life! Damn family obligations! Well, and I guess the whole his brother is my best mate thing. I swear it's still not my fault!
"Now class," Flitwick continued, "As most of you have probably gathered, Ms. Longbottom is here as a Student Teacher in intensive training as I am due to retire next year. You are lucky to be having her teach you because in my opinion, she is the brightest Charms student I have ever had the pleasure of teaching. She reminds me of a young me!" Flitwick exclaims in his high pitched voice.
Before he can finish, a muffled shout comes from the back of the room, "Yeah, she's just as short!"
Flitwick doesn't seem to notice this outburst as he continues on with his speech, but I can distinctly see Potter high five his Charms partner and best friend, Jonathan Wood. I want to rip Potter's eyeballs out because I know he made a short joke on purpose. I can only assume how red my face is, let alone ignore my audible seething. This is what I mean about being hateful, but I can't help it when he is around. He just pushes my buttons, and it annoys me even more that he isn't even listening to what Flitwick is saying! He is just staring at me. What a creeper. Then again, I've stopped listening to Flitwick.
I tune back in just in time to hear Flitwick's finale, "Here at Hogwarts, we have never really had student teachers, but I believe, since Ms. Longbottom is so young, that this will be a good experience for her, and for you, her students. I have decided that the best way for her to gain the experience she will need is to completely take over this class," I looked at Flitwick in shock. Isn't he supposed to tell me these things ahead of time and not just decide spur of the moment?
- Here is a forum thread over on the pit called definition of a “flame”
- Our Flashback Sue is... I planned on going farther back with the new teacher tag... but this... this one stood out.
TITLE: Teacher's Pet
PERPETRATOR: theupsidedownquibbler
SUE-O-METER:
(awful)
COVER/BANNER ART: It's a clip of their avatar. I can't make it out.
SUMMARY:”Avery Longbottom is the first ever student teacher to grace the halls of Hogwarts. Unfortunately for her, her best mate's little brother is her student.” When I read the summary I thought she would be the sister of Neville, but she isn't.
FULL NAME: Avery Longbottom
SPECIES: She is Neville Longbottom's daughter and the sister of one of Albus Potter's friends
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: The story starts of with Avery whining about how everyone thinks she's a sweet girl but she's really not. Flitwick announces she will be his student teacher and effectively replacing him the following year when he retires. She then tries to prove that she's not a sweet girl by ranting about Albus and his misbehavior in her head. Flitwick lets her take over the class and she proceeds to treat the seventh years like children and asks for spells they need help on. (This is so he can go to sleep by the way.) Albus needs help on a first year spell, Wingardium Leviosa. (Really?) They then get into an argument because Albus doesn't like her calling him by her last name despite the fact he should be smart enough to know why. She of course treats him like shit. Turns out he was faking it. We then jump to the second chapter and find out that she had moved into the flat with James, confirming my theory that she likely isn't old enough to technically be a student teacher. She whines about how her mother and Ginny were planning the wedding and we get this line. “The two of them just couldn't see us as friends and so James had ended up in the stylish two bedroom flat we had put the down payment on, and I had stayed at home, living in my childhood room. I'm still not sure how he managed to convince me that he should get the flat. I had; however, gotten my own key and it was with said key that I found myself sitting on James' couch waiting for him to return home from Quidditch practice.” James then proceeds to chew her out for her treatment of his little brother. Thigns settles down and James smacks her for fun, which causes Ginny to threaten to ground him. He then tells Ginny "Your son is an abomination, and I blame you! You know, he tried to ruin Avery's first class! You need to talk to him!"
ORIGIN: Flitwick is planning on retiring and decides a student teacher is the way to go. Apparently the idea behind a student teacher is that they take over the entire class on day one.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: I think I'll start off with the fact Flitwick admits that Avery is quite young but still lets her teach the seventh years of whom her brother is supposed to be a member of. Reading the first chapter I don't think there is the usual age gap you'd expect a student teacher to have. Instead I think she graduated the year before. She treats the seventh years like children despite the fact every single one of them is legally an adult in the Wizarding world. Despite the fact she is so “good” at Charms she isn't able to recognize WL as a first year spell. She also acts like a complete brat that is highly self entitled. She then manages to not come across as very bright with her interaction with James and the flat. She manages to get James to side with her.
NOTES: I decided to look at the writer's profile I found this. “My name is Nikki, and I absolutely love Harry Potter. I'm a Creative Writing major at my University and sometimes get annoyed at the volume of pretentious writing I'm expected to come out with, so I escape to good old fanfiction!” With that kind of attitude I'm really not surprised that this writer hasn't updated in over two years.
This also said, I at first wondered if Avery's characterization was intentional. We then got to the place where Ginny threatened to ground James and he mouths off to her pretty much blaming her for Albus ruining Avery's first day teaching and suddenly she's not wanting to ground him. Why are all the characters acting like immature teenagers who have no concept of the real world?
SAMPLE:
Secretly, I am an extremely angry and hateful person. I know it's really not nice to think that way, but I'm sick and tired of everyone thinking I'm this sweet girl who never has a bad thing to say about anyone. It's a lie. I have bad things to say about people all the time, especially right now. Professor Flitwick is addressing our Seventh Year Charms class whilst Potter keeps winking at me in a disgusting way. I'm absolutely positive the grimace on my face is unattractive because other students in the class have been giving me strange looks. It's not my fault though, that I've had to deal with Potter all my life! Damn family obligations! Well, and I guess the whole his brother is my best mate thing. I swear it's still not my fault!
"Now class," Flitwick continued, "As most of you have probably gathered, Ms. Longbottom is here as a Student Teacher in intensive training as I am due to retire next year. You are lucky to be having her teach you because in my opinion, she is the brightest Charms student I have ever had the pleasure of teaching. She reminds me of a young me!" Flitwick exclaims in his high pitched voice.
Before he can finish, a muffled shout comes from the back of the room, "Yeah, she's just as short!"
Flitwick doesn't seem to notice this outburst as he continues on with his speech, but I can distinctly see Potter high five his Charms partner and best friend, Jonathan Wood. I want to rip Potter's eyeballs out because I know he made a short joke on purpose. I can only assume how red my face is, let alone ignore my audible seething. This is what I mean about being hateful, but I can't help it when he is around. He just pushes my buttons, and it annoys me even more that he isn't even listening to what Flitwick is saying! He is just staring at me. What a creeper. Then again, I've stopped listening to Flitwick.
I tune back in just in time to hear Flitwick's finale, "Here at Hogwarts, we have never really had student teachers, but I believe, since Ms. Longbottom is so young, that this will be a good experience for her, and for you, her students. I have decided that the best way for her to gain the experience she will need is to completely take over this class," I looked at Flitwick in shock. Isn't he supposed to tell me these things ahead of time and not just decide spur of the moment?