3240: The Elder Locket - Audrey Beatrix No-Last-Name/Wright
Here is the first day of sapnish's second week and it is. I still need the other two to send in their week/weeks. This week is “special jewelry week”. It might extend past a week... the entries that are related to it, simply because it's hard to make up my mind and I'm only searching for one particular piece of jewelry.
I found a fic caledLost that I thought might be good to feature, but... well, read the whole thing and tell me what you think.
TITLE: The Elder Locket
PERPETRATOR: WritingBetweenTheLines
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
COVER/BANNER ART: Their cover art is Draco Malfoy from the movies and somone else. It is poor photoshop job.
SUMMARY:”Draco Malfoy had a mission. Audrey Wright-a girl from his past-has a secret that could change everything, and Voldemort suddenly feels vulnerable. Draco's 2nd task: captivate her. "But how exactly do you break Audrey Wright?" Through plot twists, love triangles, and ancient secrets, The Elder Locket will shock you till the last page. HIATUS.”
FULL NAME: Audrey Beatrix No-Last-Name/Wright
SPECIES: Audrey is Draco's “bratty cousin”. This is because Draco thinks she's mental. Guess who her mother is. (Does she have different parents in the different time frame?”
HAIR: “She has beautiful, luscious black locks of hair that framed her heart-shaped face perfectly.”
EYES: “Normally, a black-haired girl would have black eyes. But Audrey wasn't black-eyes nor was she chocolate. She was a beautiful, bright blue-eyed girl with a slight tan and cute little nose.
MARKINGS: See hair and eyes. This also said... as I read the description I was like “so what?”
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: The first chapter jumps from two annoying prologues to Draco's point of view where it talks about him having “turned 11 a couple of months back”. Draco and she then proceed to be very annoying. For some reason the mother that makes Audrey Draco's cousin is running around. Then we get a chapter where it seems Audrey White is mooning over Draco? (This story is pretty badly. Later on Voldemort's attention is attracted to Audrey because she did something special with a spell and was wearing a particular locket.
ORIGIN: Audrey helped to defeat Voldemort only to die. (Sorry... but killing off your character doesn't make her any less of a Sue.)
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Audrey is the owner of the Elder Locket which helps to amplify the power of the Elder Wand. This of course causes Audrey to die and for Draco to be sent into the past. The writer also introduces her as beautiful and talented, “gifted, some may say […] cursed, others might say”.
NOTES: The writer says in an Author's note at the beginning of the first chapter... “anyways, I'm a Dramione shipper (hopefully I spelled it right) but I always thought it would be great if there was a female version of Draco. The writer also treats us to two prologues instead of one. One tells of Audrey's death in the other life and the other is a narrator telling us how “ Life simply wasn't simple for Audrey Write” 'cause she was a witch from a Muggle family. If she is Draco's cousin she can not be Muggle Born. It would be nice if Luscious didn't appear in the story and Lucius did instead. It's pretty painful to read, this one. Normally this type of storyline would get a Toxic, but it couldn't even get to the Toxic part.
Oh... and the narrator's name is Daffodil Longbottom.
SAMPLE:
The locket wrapped around the wand and it seemed to increase in power a hundred times.
Harry smiled, and put more confidence into his magic.
The magic of the Elder Wand overpowered the wand of the other.
Lord Voldemort fell to the ground and screeched for the last time.
And died a quiet yet rapid death.
Death is a funny thing.
That is what Audrey Wright thought as blood flowed out of her chest and onto the floor surrounding her.
People say that you are born for a reason, and that your mission in life was to find that reason.
But what happens when you've found that reason?
Do you just go off and die? Do you welcome death?
Audrey smiled sadly as this, and other thoughts filled her head.
Her vision began to foggy. And though she could barely see now, she made out a tall, masculine figure making his way towards her.
He bent down at her level, but said nothing.
He had a sad look in his eyes.
"Look on the bright side, Draco. Now you don't have a weak spot." Audrey chuckled, as if it would make everything that much better.
Draco stared at her with a horrified expression. But he wouldn't cry. That wasn't like him, anyways.
Audrey Beatrix Wright took in the world one last time.
I found a fic caledLost that I thought might be good to feature, but... well, read the whole thing and tell me what you think.
TITLE: The Elder Locket
PERPETRATOR: WritingBetweenTheLines
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
COVER/BANNER ART: Their cover art is Draco Malfoy from the movies and somone else. It is poor photoshop job.
SUMMARY:”Draco Malfoy had a mission. Audrey Wright-a girl from his past-has a secret that could change everything, and Voldemort suddenly feels vulnerable. Draco's 2nd task: captivate her. "But how exactly do you break Audrey Wright?" Through plot twists, love triangles, and ancient secrets, The Elder Locket will shock you till the last page. HIATUS.”
FULL NAME: Audrey Beatrix No-Last-Name/Wright
SPECIES: Audrey is Draco's “bratty cousin”. This is because Draco thinks she's mental. Guess who her mother is. (Does she have different parents in the different time frame?”
HAIR: “She has beautiful, luscious black locks of hair that framed her heart-shaped face perfectly.”
EYES: “Normally, a black-haired girl would have black eyes. But Audrey wasn't black-eyes nor was she chocolate. She was a beautiful, bright blue-eyed girl with a slight tan and cute little nose.
MARKINGS: See hair and eyes. This also said... as I read the description I was like “so what?”
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: The first chapter jumps from two annoying prologues to Draco's point of view where it talks about him having “turned 11 a couple of months back”. Draco and she then proceed to be very annoying. For some reason the mother that makes Audrey Draco's cousin is running around. Then we get a chapter where it seems Audrey White is mooning over Draco? (This story is pretty badly. Later on Voldemort's attention is attracted to Audrey because she did something special with a spell and was wearing a particular locket.
ORIGIN: Audrey helped to defeat Voldemort only to die. (Sorry... but killing off your character doesn't make her any less of a Sue.)
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Audrey is the owner of the Elder Locket which helps to amplify the power of the Elder Wand. This of course causes Audrey to die and for Draco to be sent into the past. The writer also introduces her as beautiful and talented, “gifted, some may say […] cursed, others might say”.
NOTES: The writer says in an Author's note at the beginning of the first chapter... “anyways, I'm a Dramione shipper (hopefully I spelled it right) but I always thought it would be great if there was a female version of Draco. The writer also treats us to two prologues instead of one. One tells of Audrey's death in the other life and the other is a narrator telling us how “ Life simply wasn't simple for Audrey Write” 'cause she was a witch from a Muggle family. If she is Draco's cousin she can not be Muggle Born. It would be nice if Luscious didn't appear in the story and Lucius did instead. It's pretty painful to read, this one. Normally this type of storyline would get a Toxic, but it couldn't even get to the Toxic part.
Oh... and the narrator's name is Daffodil Longbottom.
SAMPLE:
The locket wrapped around the wand and it seemed to increase in power a hundred times.
Harry smiled, and put more confidence into his magic.
The magic of the Elder Wand overpowered the wand of the other.
Lord Voldemort fell to the ground and screeched for the last time.
And died a quiet yet rapid death.
Death is a funny thing.
That is what Audrey Wright thought as blood flowed out of her chest and onto the floor surrounding her.
People say that you are born for a reason, and that your mission in life was to find that reason.
But what happens when you've found that reason?
Do you just go off and die? Do you welcome death?
Audrey smiled sadly as this, and other thoughts filled her head.
Her vision began to foggy. And though she could barely see now, she made out a tall, masculine figure making his way towards her.
He bent down at her level, but said nothing.
He had a sad look in his eyes.
"Look on the bright side, Draco. Now you don't have a weak spot." Audrey chuckled, as if it would make everything that much better.
Draco stared at her with a horrified expression. But he wouldn't cry. That wasn't like him, anyways.
Audrey Beatrix Wright took in the world one last time.