0296: Snape's daughter - Narcissa Black
Y'know... Mary-Sues are actually getting more difficult to find at the Pit of Voles lately... we're probably just going through a short dry spell and will have them back en masse after PoA premieres, but it would be nice to think that word is getting around about me... "nonono! You can't write about a beautiful transfer student from America who is really Voldemort's daughter and ends up marrying Draco after teaching him about goodness and light! pottersues will find it and make fun of you!"
Here. Have some random cartoon owls.
TITLE: Snape's daughter
PERPETRATOR: Narcissa Snape
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Narcissa Black
SPECIES: human/witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: not described
ORIGIN: Am confused about that.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Okay, so there's this girl whose name appears to be Narcissa... she has a cousin named Sirius who is very overprotective of her. Sirius has best friends named James, Remus, Lily, and Peter... the last seems to have a crush on Narcissa but be too shy to do anything about it. Narcissa is in love with some dashing romantic fellow named Severus Snape, whom Sirius and pals don't like too much and keep calling 'Snivellus', and Narcissa's parents want her to marry somebody named either Lucifer or Lucius, who doesn't want to marry her either. And... y'know, the names sound awfully darn familiar, but so far this story doesn't seem to have anything to do with the potterverse.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: none mentioned
NOTES: It was the title of this one that got my attention, but I couldn't get far enough to find the daughter-Sue... the Narcissa-Sue was bad enough.
SAMPLE:
Severus stared at Sirius silently for a moment. "Why do you always call me Snivellus, Potter?" he growled. "Because I hate you", answered James calmly. Severus didn't say anything. He just glared at Sirius and James. Suddenly Sirius said: "Narcissa hates me because of you." "Am I a problem?" asked Severus. "Yes. Without you she would be happier because she could be with me", replied Sirius. Severus laughed. "That is so ridiculous! You are pathetic, Black! You try to see me as a problem. But guess what? The problem is you!" he snapped. "How can I be a problem?" growled Sirius. "Because you don't understand that Narcissa loves me! If you cared about her at all, you would accept her opinion about me", replied Severus. Sirius laughed. "You are the most pathetic person in the world! You are a loser! Did you understand? A loser!" he shouted. Then he and James laughed. Severus tried to stay calm. It was hard but he managed. "I will marry Narcissa, and you can do nothing to prevent it!" he growled and went away.
Narcissa was thinking anout things that were said to her earlier. Sirius hated Severus because he loved her! It was unbelievable. She had had a thought that Peter would have loved her but Sirius. Narcissa had always considered him just as a friend. Sirius was her cousin and he was deeply and desperately in love with her. Narcissa couldn't believe it. How many men wanted her actually? Severus, Lucius, Sirius, Peter, Lockhart. She tried to count the number of her secret lovers but it was impossible. But one thing was sure: her heart belonged to Severus. Suddenly she heard that someone was coming closer to her. She turned around. It was Severus. "Severus. hi", she said and smiled beautifully. "Hi", replied Severus and smiled too. Severus knew that Narcissa loved just him, no one else. She was the most popular girl at school but there was only one man that she loved passionately- Severus. "I'm glad that I see you", whispered Narcissa. "Me too. I have an important thing to say to you", said Severus quietly. "Oh? What is it?" asked Narcissa impatiently. "Will you marry me?" asked Severus. "What?" asked Narcissa. "Willy you marry me?" repeated Severus and took a beautiful ring from his pocket. Narcissa looked at the ring first and then Severus. And she said: "Yes. I will marry you!" "That's wonderful!" laughed Severus. "Ooo, you make me so happy!" said Narcissa happily. "No, honey, you make me happy!" laughed Severus. He kissed Narcissa.
They didn't know that Sirius had seen and heard the whole conversation. He had been in the shadows. He looked at them for a moment and then he walked silently away, planning something and disappearing into darkness.
Here. Have some random cartoon owls.
TITLE: Snape's daughter
PERPETRATOR: Narcissa Snape
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Narcissa Black
SPECIES: human/witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: not described
ORIGIN: Am confused about that.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Okay, so there's this girl whose name appears to be Narcissa... she has a cousin named Sirius who is very overprotective of her. Sirius has best friends named James, Remus, Lily, and Peter... the last seems to have a crush on Narcissa but be too shy to do anything about it. Narcissa is in love with some dashing romantic fellow named Severus Snape, whom Sirius and pals don't like too much and keep calling 'Snivellus', and Narcissa's parents want her to marry somebody named either Lucifer or Lucius, who doesn't want to marry her either. And... y'know, the names sound awfully darn familiar, but so far this story doesn't seem to have anything to do with the potterverse.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: none mentioned
NOTES: It was the title of this one that got my attention, but I couldn't get far enough to find the daughter-Sue... the Narcissa-Sue was bad enough.
SAMPLE:
Severus stared at Sirius silently for a moment. "Why do you always call me Snivellus, Potter?" he growled. "Because I hate you", answered James calmly. Severus didn't say anything. He just glared at Sirius and James. Suddenly Sirius said: "Narcissa hates me because of you." "Am I a problem?" asked Severus. "Yes. Without you she would be happier because she could be with me", replied Sirius. Severus laughed. "That is so ridiculous! You are pathetic, Black! You try to see me as a problem. But guess what? The problem is you!" he snapped. "How can I be a problem?" growled Sirius. "Because you don't understand that Narcissa loves me! If you cared about her at all, you would accept her opinion about me", replied Severus. Sirius laughed. "You are the most pathetic person in the world! You are a loser! Did you understand? A loser!" he shouted. Then he and James laughed. Severus tried to stay calm. It was hard but he managed. "I will marry Narcissa, and you can do nothing to prevent it!" he growled and went away.
Narcissa was thinking anout things that were said to her earlier. Sirius hated Severus because he loved her! It was unbelievable. She had had a thought that Peter would have loved her but Sirius. Narcissa had always considered him just as a friend. Sirius was her cousin and he was deeply and desperately in love with her. Narcissa couldn't believe it. How many men wanted her actually? Severus, Lucius, Sirius, Peter, Lockhart. She tried to count the number of her secret lovers but it was impossible. But one thing was sure: her heart belonged to Severus. Suddenly she heard that someone was coming closer to her. She turned around. It was Severus. "Severus. hi", she said and smiled beautifully. "Hi", replied Severus and smiled too. Severus knew that Narcissa loved just him, no one else. She was the most popular girl at school but there was only one man that she loved passionately- Severus. "I'm glad that I see you", whispered Narcissa. "Me too. I have an important thing to say to you", said Severus quietly. "Oh? What is it?" asked Narcissa impatiently. "Will you marry me?" asked Severus. "What?" asked Narcissa. "Willy you marry me?" repeated Severus and took a beautiful ring from his pocket. Narcissa looked at the ring first and then Severus. And she said: "Yes. I will marry you!" "That's wonderful!" laughed Severus. "Ooo, you make me so happy!" said Narcissa happily. "No, honey, you make me happy!" laughed Severus. He kissed Narcissa.
They didn't know that Sirius had seen and heard the whole conversation. He had been in the shadows. He looked at them for a moment and then he walked silently away, planning something and disappearing into darkness.