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Thank you to everyone for the well wishes!
I've almost finished tagging entries 901-1000! Yay!
TITLE: A Pureblood Siren. I don't think that's possible.
PERPETRATOR: I'm Daydreaming
SUE-O-METER:
(awful)
FULL NAME: Hermione Granger aka Hermione Franfer aka Aphrodite Rose Franfer
SPECIES: Witch/Siren
HAIR: "her hair turned black and reached her waist now instead of being a tangled mess it was straight down and curled at the end". Just because you have curly/frizzy hair it doesn't mean it's "tangled".
EYES: "a golden color instead of the regular brown we all knew". There is nothing wrong with brown eyes!
MARKINGS: "she grew to 5'10 her skin became flawless"
POSSESSIONS: New clothes, which we hear nothing about, because "nothing fits" her anymore.
ORIGIN: Upon learning she is a pureblood, as always, Hermione's thoughts turn to Draco, and the fact that he can't make racial slurs against her anymore. I count this as OOC moment #1. We learn that her family used to be sirens, but since it skipped her grandmother, they had assumed it would stop there.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Turns up at the Burrow, very excited, to show everyone her new self. After they go to Diagon Alley where Hermione learns that her siren abilities have no effect on Draco the half-veela. This makes her want him. Ginny and Hermione remain friends, thankfully. At Hogwarts Hermione and Draco are announced as Head Boy and Head Girl. They are allowed to each take a friend to stay with them in their special dorm room. Hermione picks Luna, and Draco picks Blaise. After going through a selection of strange possible passwords (Hermione picked "marriage"), the portrait accepts Luna's selection of "love". Arghhhhh....
SPECIAL ABILITIES She is now "beautiful" and sounds like a siren. It has the ability to "memorize" Ron and Harry, well, all men actually except for Draco.
NOTES: If you know that your plot has been done a hundred times before, you have to do a lot to make it different. This one falls short. Also, there is no background explanation about why she was disguised in the first place, and little to no scene description. It's aaallllll dialogue. Chapter three has a copy/paste section from earlier in the chapter. Someone should probably let the Suethor know this. It appears someone tried to, but their review was cut off.
I'm really bothered at Hermione's joy in not being a "mudblood" anymore. It really bothers me characterization wise and from the standpoint of the Suethor. It's not supposed to be a word that is just thrown around. Try replacing the word "mudblood" with any other derogatory term and it makes the tone of the story, and Hermione's point of view disgusting.
SAMPLE:
"Wow." Harry said, "So you're a pureblood."
"And a siren." Ron added
"Anyways lets go get our books and robes." Hermione wrote knowing her voice would memorize Ron and Harry.
They arrived at Digon ally and after getting their supplies thy dragged Hermione to the Quiditch shop when they bumped into Malfoy
"Finally replaced that no good mublood eh." He smirked
"Actually-" Ron said stepping forward but Hermione placed her hand over his chest giving him a look that said Let-Me-Handle-This
"Got a girl fighting you battles eh Weasly." He mocked
"You should shut your moth Malfoy." Hermione snapped
While every boy there became memorized
"Hmm you seem to know my name but I still don't know yours and by the looks of things you're a siren." He said kissing her hand
"I'm Franfer, and why aren't you affected?" she asked
"Because I'm half-veela and it doesn't affect me and Franfer pureblood."
"Yes and my first name is Hermione formerly known as Hermione Granger."
Draco stared at her mouth a gaped but regained himself "Dirty little liar you mublood." He spat
"Actually I'm telling the truth and it's a pureblood siren." Hermione flirted and pulled Ron and Harry away who were still memorized
Thank you to everyone for the well wishes!
I've almost finished tagging entries 901-1000! Yay!
TITLE: A Pureblood Siren. I don't think that's possible.
PERPETRATOR: I'm Daydreaming
SUE-O-METER:
(awful)
FULL NAME: Hermione Granger aka Hermione Franfer aka Aphrodite Rose Franfer
SPECIES: Witch/Siren
HAIR: "her hair turned black and reached her waist now instead of being a tangled mess it was straight down and curled at the end". Just because you have curly/frizzy hair it doesn't mean it's "tangled".
EYES: "a golden color instead of the regular brown we all knew". There is nothing wrong with brown eyes!
MARKINGS: "she grew to 5'10 her skin became flawless"
POSSESSIONS: New clothes, which we hear nothing about, because "nothing fits" her anymore.
ORIGIN: Upon learning she is a pureblood, as always, Hermione's thoughts turn to Draco, and the fact that he can't make racial slurs against her anymore. I count this as OOC moment #1. We learn that her family used to be sirens, but since it skipped her grandmother, they had assumed it would stop there.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Turns up at the Burrow, very excited, to show everyone her new self. After they go to Diagon Alley where Hermione learns that her siren abilities have no effect on Draco the half-veela. This makes her want him. Ginny and Hermione remain friends, thankfully. At Hogwarts Hermione and Draco are announced as Head Boy and Head Girl. They are allowed to each take a friend to stay with them in their special dorm room. Hermione picks Luna, and Draco picks Blaise. After going through a selection of strange possible passwords (Hermione picked "marriage"), the portrait accepts Luna's selection of "love". Arghhhhh....
SPECIAL ABILITIES She is now "beautiful" and sounds like a siren. It has the ability to "memorize" Ron and Harry, well, all men actually except for Draco.
NOTES: If you know that your plot has been done a hundred times before, you have to do a lot to make it different. This one falls short. Also, there is no background explanation about why she was disguised in the first place, and little to no scene description. It's aaallllll dialogue. Chapter three has a copy/paste section from earlier in the chapter. Someone should probably let the Suethor know this. It appears someone tried to, but their review was cut off.
I'm really bothered at Hermione's joy in not being a "mudblood" anymore. It really bothers me characterization wise and from the standpoint of the Suethor. It's not supposed to be a word that is just thrown around. Try replacing the word "mudblood" with any other derogatory term and it makes the tone of the story, and Hermione's point of view disgusting.
SAMPLE:
"Wow." Harry said, "So you're a pureblood."
"And a siren." Ron added
"Anyways lets go get our books and robes." Hermione wrote knowing her voice would memorize Ron and Harry.
They arrived at Digon ally and after getting their supplies thy dragged Hermione to the Quiditch shop when they bumped into Malfoy
"Finally replaced that no good mublood eh." He smirked
"Actually-" Ron said stepping forward but Hermione placed her hand over his chest giving him a look that said Let-Me-Handle-This
"Got a girl fighting you battles eh Weasly." He mocked
"You should shut your moth Malfoy." Hermione snapped
While every boy there became memorized
"Hmm you seem to know my name but I still don't know yours and by the looks of things you're a siren." He said kissing her hand
"I'm Franfer, and why aren't you affected?" she asked
"Because I'm half-veela and it doesn't affect me and Franfer pureblood."
"Yes and my first name is Hermione formerly known as Hermione Granger."
Draco stared at her mouth a gaped but regained himself "Dirty little liar you mublood." He spat
"Actually I'm telling the truth and it's a pureblood siren." Hermione flirted and pulled Ron and Harry away who were still memorized