1708: American Witches - Lia and Rikku Origilasso
Last day to get your nominations in! The categories of "Most OOC Canon Character - Male", "Silliest Name", "The OMGLWTFWTPT?!1? Award", and "Most Unintentionally Hilarious" are filled. Keep going everyone, several categories only need one or two more nominations!
TITLE: American Witches *sings* Stay away from me *sings*
PERPETRATOR: Authoresshacker She lets us know in her profile that "IF YOU GIVE ME FLAMES I WILL CUT OFF YOUR BIG TOE WITH SICCORS AND THEN CHOP YOUR COMPUTER INTO BITS WITH A KEYBLADE!!!!" Eloquent.
SUE-O-METER:
(awful)
FULL NAME: Lia and Rikku Origilasso
SPECIES: Witches
HAIR: "Lia had shoulder lengh mahogany hair, while Rikku had shiny red hair that had different strands coloured with all the colours of the rainbow at the front that fell around her face."
EYES: "Lia had big emerald eyes that seemed to stare into your very soul". "Rikku had the same eyes, exept a lighter green, ofton mistaken for hazel".
MARKINGS: "They both had perfect skin and never seemed to get any spots, a fact that virtually the entire female population of the school was jealous of".
POSSESSIONS: Lia "always wore really pretty miniskirts and pretty leather boots. She wore at least four belts around her waist all the time and really pretty tops." Rikku "wore jeans and sleeveless shirts, as well as several pieces of handmade jewlery and dark fingerless gloves. The most that you could see of her ears were long, shoulder lengh even, light colored earrings (if any of you have played FF X-2, take a quick look at Lenne and you'll know pretty much what they'd look like but not as long) and ipod earphones". She also has a guitar. They have "piles" of money. Rikku's wand is "Rosewood wand with unicorn hair, 10 1/4", and Lia's is "a Ash wand with a Chimara scale, 11 inches". They share an owl named first named "Selena", and then is randomly called "Solana" later.
ORIGIN: The learn that they are witches, and get to go to Hogwarts, despite the fact that they live in America. Because they were on vacation in England, they received Hogwarts letters.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Upon finding out they are going to Hogwarts in "Scottland", and that they are witches, their mom confesses that their dad is a wizard. On the Hogwarts Express, they meet another American transfer named Lena. They are going to be sorted in private. They decided to ask to all be in Gryffindor. At Hogwarts, they meet two more exchange students, Yuki and Akkiro. All five are in Gryffindor, and the trio introduce themselves to the Sues. Then they go to DADA and Umbridge is there, despite being twelve and thirteen, they are in class with Harry. Then they get to hear Snape's first year speech. He barks questions and one of the girls, who answers him due to her amazing skills. They will find the RoR within the first week of being there, they use it to practice spells. They call their little group of five the "Dark Hackers". Out of Rikku and Lia, one girl will be paired with Harry and the other with Ron.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: They are "weird but beautiful". Music "rules" Rikku's life. Instantly they are fluent in wizard-lingo, such as "muggle" and what the four Hogwarts houses characteristics are. Rikku and Lia can see Thestrals. They are very smart and sassy.
NOTES: I think this is a Final Fantasy crossover mixed with self-insert wish fulfillment. The Suethor's notes are in-text and irritating. Plus, I think we had another name-replacement gaff in the story, at one moment Rikku's name is "Ally". Plus this just stinks of ignorance: "
"Yes." They said again. "We're transfers from America." Harry didn't think they needed to say where she was from; their accent-or maybe lack-there-of-gave it away." You have an AMERICAN accent! You ARE NOT lacking a God damn accent just because you are American and can hear the British accent, and thinks that everyone around you sounds normal! ARRRGGHHHH!!! *brain explode*
SAMPLE:
Lia's POV.
Helloooooo world!!! MARSHMALLOS ARE GREAT!!!
Ok, I'm sorry. I think that was the crazy side of me that you just saw. Well today is the first day and everything was gonna be just... PEACHY!! (there it is again)
Or at least that's what I thought.
We had Defense Against the Dark Arts, or D.A.D.A for short, first. Defense it ok... I think I would have perfered to learn the dark arts, but as long as no one got hurt. Harry told me that the professor changes every year. That must stink!
Rikku and I strutted into the room nonchalantly.
“Lia,-" A short, squat woman resembling a toad at the front of the room said. Dolores Umbride, the she devil. We could tell she was having trouble with Rikku/Riley's name.
"It's Riley ma'am." Rikku said.
"You’re late”
"So?" I said with a shrug.
"It's our first day and we got lost."
"Well, take a seat. And take the things off."
"We had to heely in." Rikku said.
"Yeah, were were concered on our safty." I said and showed off my pads before taking them off.
"We could have just leaved the pads and fall and hurt ourselves and carge you for the stitches bill, but we were too nice." Rikku aggreed.
We sat near Harry. On the desks were textbooks. Great.
"Now many of you have been informed that a certain dark wizard has risen to power. This is a lie."
I almost rose out of my seat. If it was a lie, then why did Lena's parents, who were Auros, came?
"It's not a lie! I saw him! I fought him!" Harry said. He had the guts to do what I coudn't.
"Detention Mr. Potter!"
"So according to you Cedric Diggory dropped dead?"
"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident!"
"He was murdered!" Harry shouted.
I pass over a note to Rikk. "I think she needs to learn a little lesson."
R: 270?
L:No. Too nice.
R: 534
L: Maybe.
R: Maybe we should just grabbed out pitchforks and chase her out of Scottland.
L: Guiness!
D.A.D.A was like any other class I've been in: BORE-ing!!! No magic. Just reading. Then we went to the worst doom possible: Potions.
Normal POV.
Rikku looked around in the dungeon. Ew was the first thing that came to mind for the both of them. It was a large dungeon filled with pickled animal parts and a gargoyle.
"Think we're in the wrong classroom?" Rikku asked.
"Let's hope." Lia said.
Snape bursted in.
"There will be no silly wand waving,or silly incantations in this class." He said and then Rikku started zoning out a bit.
"I can teach the beauty of the sofly simering caluderon with shimering fumes. The delicate powers of liquids that creek through human veins."
Ew.
"Bewitching the mind and snaring the sences."
Ew!
"I can teach you the secrets of mystical fluids unknown."
Okay...
"Enchanted juice, wizard liquids-"
Wow.
"I can teach you to bottle fame-"
Don't need it.
"Brew glory-"
Oh la la!
"Pickle victory-"
Pickle victory?!
"Sucree sucess-"
Oh my.
"And even put a stoper to death."
"No you can't!" This time poor Rikku's comentary came out loud. Lia covered her mouth too late.
"Origliasso!" Snape said. "What would I ger if I added powdered root of asphodel to an influision of wormwood?"
What to what? Lia thought. Rikku pounderd this for a moment.
"Well...you would get a powerful sleeping potion called 'Draught of the living death', which in my oppinion sound like a title of a horror video or a rated T game."
"Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?" Snape asked.
"Um...that...is a stone in the stomach of a goat that can save you from most potions, right?"
"Origliasso, what is the differnce between monkshood and wolfsbane?"
"That's...the same exact thing!" Lia looked at her twin in shock. Is that just a potion thing, or can you also do it in math? (If so, I wanna learn how to do that!!! 8D)
"A point will be awarded to Gryffindor." Snape said with some dicust.
Lia started having her own thoughts...
Your mother is a -ing Laurum Ipsum Admidum Venium Turraguna Hippopotamus Republican And Daniel Radcliffe a With a bucket off castle far away where no one can hear you Soup With a bucket off Mickey Mouse And a stick of dynamite Magical Alakazan!
Who knew Lia had such a dirty mind?!
TITLE: American Witches *sings* Stay away from me *sings*
PERPETRATOR: Authoresshacker She lets us know in her profile that "IF YOU GIVE ME FLAMES I WILL CUT OFF YOUR BIG TOE WITH SICCORS AND THEN CHOP YOUR COMPUTER INTO BITS WITH A KEYBLADE!!!!" Eloquent.
SUE-O-METER:
(awful)
FULL NAME: Lia and Rikku Origilasso
SPECIES: Witches
HAIR: "Lia had shoulder lengh mahogany hair, while Rikku had shiny red hair that had different strands coloured with all the colours of the rainbow at the front that fell around her face."
EYES: "Lia had big emerald eyes that seemed to stare into your very soul". "Rikku had the same eyes, exept a lighter green, ofton mistaken for hazel".
MARKINGS: "They both had perfect skin and never seemed to get any spots, a fact that virtually the entire female population of the school was jealous of".
POSSESSIONS: Lia "always wore really pretty miniskirts and pretty leather boots. She wore at least four belts around her waist all the time and really pretty tops." Rikku "wore jeans and sleeveless shirts, as well as several pieces of handmade jewlery and dark fingerless gloves. The most that you could see of her ears were long, shoulder lengh even, light colored earrings (if any of you have played FF X-2, take a quick look at Lenne and you'll know pretty much what they'd look like but not as long) and ipod earphones". She also has a guitar. They have "piles" of money. Rikku's wand is "Rosewood wand with unicorn hair, 10 1/4", and Lia's is "a Ash wand with a Chimara scale, 11 inches". They share an owl named first named "Selena", and then is randomly called "Solana" later.
ORIGIN: The learn that they are witches, and get to go to Hogwarts, despite the fact that they live in America. Because they were on vacation in England, they received Hogwarts letters.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Upon finding out they are going to Hogwarts in "Scottland", and that they are witches, their mom confesses that their dad is a wizard. On the Hogwarts Express, they meet another American transfer named Lena. They are going to be sorted in private. They decided to ask to all be in Gryffindor. At Hogwarts, they meet two more exchange students, Yuki and Akkiro. All five are in Gryffindor, and the trio introduce themselves to the Sues. Then they go to DADA and Umbridge is there, despite being twelve and thirteen, they are in class with Harry. Then they get to hear Snape's first year speech. He barks questions and one of the girls, who answers him due to her amazing skills. They will find the RoR within the first week of being there, they use it to practice spells. They call their little group of five the "Dark Hackers". Out of Rikku and Lia, one girl will be paired with Harry and the other with Ron.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: They are "weird but beautiful". Music "rules" Rikku's life. Instantly they are fluent in wizard-lingo, such as "muggle" and what the four Hogwarts houses characteristics are. Rikku and Lia can see Thestrals. They are very smart and sassy.
NOTES: I think this is a Final Fantasy crossover mixed with self-insert wish fulfillment. The Suethor's notes are in-text and irritating. Plus, I think we had another name-replacement gaff in the story, at one moment Rikku's name is "Ally". Plus this just stinks of ignorance: "
"Yes." They said again. "We're transfers from America." Harry didn't think they needed to say where she was from; their accent-or maybe lack-there-of-gave it away." You have an AMERICAN accent! You ARE NOT lacking a God damn accent just because you are American and can hear the British accent, and thinks that everyone around you sounds normal! ARRRGGHHHH!!! *brain explode*
SAMPLE:
Lia's POV.
Helloooooo world!!! MARSHMALLOS ARE GREAT!!!
Ok, I'm sorry. I think that was the crazy side of me that you just saw. Well today is the first day and everything was gonna be just... PEACHY!! (there it is again)
Or at least that's what I thought.
We had Defense Against the Dark Arts, or D.A.D.A for short, first. Defense it ok... I think I would have perfered to learn the dark arts, but as long as no one got hurt. Harry told me that the professor changes every year. That must stink!
Rikku and I strutted into the room nonchalantly.
“Lia,-" A short, squat woman resembling a toad at the front of the room said. Dolores Umbride, the she devil. We could tell she was having trouble with Rikku/Riley's name.
"It's Riley ma'am." Rikku said.
"You’re late”
"So?" I said with a shrug.
"It's our first day and we got lost."
"Well, take a seat. And take the things off."
"We had to heely in." Rikku said.
"Yeah, were were concered on our safty." I said and showed off my pads before taking them off.
"We could have just leaved the pads and fall and hurt ourselves and carge you for the stitches bill, but we were too nice." Rikku aggreed.
We sat near Harry. On the desks were textbooks. Great.
"Now many of you have been informed that a certain dark wizard has risen to power. This is a lie."
I almost rose out of my seat. If it was a lie, then why did Lena's parents, who were Auros, came?
"It's not a lie! I saw him! I fought him!" Harry said. He had the guts to do what I coudn't.
"Detention Mr. Potter!"
"So according to you Cedric Diggory dropped dead?"
"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident!"
"He was murdered!" Harry shouted.
I pass over a note to Rikk. "I think she needs to learn a little lesson."
R: 270?
L:No. Too nice.
R: 534
L: Maybe.
R: Maybe we should just grabbed out pitchforks and chase her out of Scottland.
L: Guiness!
D.A.D.A was like any other class I've been in: BORE-ing!!! No magic. Just reading. Then we went to the worst doom possible: Potions.
Normal POV.
Rikku looked around in the dungeon. Ew was the first thing that came to mind for the both of them. It was a large dungeon filled with pickled animal parts and a gargoyle.
"Think we're in the wrong classroom?" Rikku asked.
"Let's hope." Lia said.
Snape bursted in.
"There will be no silly wand waving,or silly incantations in this class." He said and then Rikku started zoning out a bit.
"I can teach the beauty of the sofly simering caluderon with shimering fumes. The delicate powers of liquids that creek through human veins."
Ew.
"Bewitching the mind and snaring the sences."
Ew!
"I can teach you the secrets of mystical fluids unknown."
Okay...
"Enchanted juice, wizard liquids-"
Wow.
"I can teach you to bottle fame-"
Don't need it.
"Brew glory-"
Oh la la!
"Pickle victory-"
Pickle victory?!
"Sucree sucess-"
Oh my.
"And even put a stoper to death."
"No you can't!" This time poor Rikku's comentary came out loud. Lia covered her mouth too late.
"Origliasso!" Snape said. "What would I ger if I added powdered root of asphodel to an influision of wormwood?"
What to what? Lia thought. Rikku pounderd this for a moment.
"Well...you would get a powerful sleeping potion called 'Draught of the living death', which in my oppinion sound like a title of a horror video or a rated T game."
"Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?" Snape asked.
"Um...that...is a stone in the stomach of a goat that can save you from most potions, right?"
"Origliasso, what is the differnce between monkshood and wolfsbane?"
"That's...the same exact thing!" Lia looked at her twin in shock. Is that just a potion thing, or can you also do it in math? (If so, I wanna learn how to do that!!! 8D)
"A point will be awarded to Gryffindor." Snape said with some dicust.
Lia started having her own thoughts...
Your mother is a -ing Laurum Ipsum Admidum Venium Turraguna Hippopotamus Republican And Daniel Radcliffe a With a bucket off castle far away where no one can hear you Soup With a bucket off Mickey Mouse And a stick of dynamite Magical Alakazan!
Who knew Lia had such a dirty mind?!