5108: Sirius black and Hermione Granger's Practically - Sirius Black and Hermione Granger
I believe I’ve figured out the formatting I want to use. First two-thousand entries are numbered properly
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Title: Sirius Black and Hermione Granger's Practicality
Perpetrator: Iamgroot474
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic-when is anything involving marriage laws not? Actually, there are a few stories under the marriage contract tag which aren’t the Toxic rating. The rest are of the awful rating. Mind you, there is a chance not all of the stories involving marriage laws/contracts are tagged-there’s not much chance of finding one not of these two ratings.
Cover/Banner Art: None
Summary: “A new Muggleborn Protection Act decrees that all muggleborns 17 must marry a pureblood within a month of turning of age. Due to a rush to find a partner, her use of a Time Turner messing with her actual age, and getting late to the game, Hermione is left with one less than ideal option for a husband, with no chance of divorce ever: Sirius Black. AU; set in 5th year; SB is free.”
Full Name: Sirius Black and Hermione Granger
Sueworts House(s): Tootsietramp for both.
Species: Canon characters lacking common sense they would normally have.
Physical Description: They’re the canon characters, or so the writer wants us to believe.
Possessions: A love spell.
Origin: “Ollo, good readers! I come to you today with a marriage law type fic because I've seen a lot of those and they all bother me for one reason or another, so I decided to write one that wouldn't bother me. The pairing is Sirius/Hermione and it is fifth year, but there is no underage here; just mildly a dubious age difference that no one at all is comfortable with, but the other option is worse in-story.”
Special Abilities: “In Bonded Marriages, however, two wizards magic's are linked together, forging a connection between them believed to transcend time and rebirth so that they might find each other again in another life. This allows emotions and sometimes even thoughts to cross between the Bonded, which can make a marriage very easy or very difficult, and also makes adding another to the Bond incredibly difficult unless all parties involved really, really, really want it - like, if one party has even the slightest misgivings, the entire thing would be liable to blow up in everyone's faces. Oh, and the Bond is nigh impossible to break considering every emotion felt during it strengthens it in some way, so that even if you end up hating each other, you're still stuck. The only true way out of a Bonded marriage is death or indifference, which Hermione knows she'll never feel towards Sirius - he just isn't the type of person who anyone could feel nothing for.”
Sirius is also alive for some unexplained reason. I guess he’s alive so he can be paired with Hermione? Screw that. He’s alive so that they can end up together, but he’s also conveniently her only option so they can end up together. That’s bad writing. The whole spiel on Bonded Marriages is also bad writing. It’s bad writing which tries to gloss over the sexist and racist nature of the Muggleborn Protection Law.
Connection to Canon: Yup. I’ve moved this to after Special Abilities for today’s entry. We, the readers are supposed to believe that this Muggleborn Protection Act isn’t sexist and racist. We’re also supposed to believe yet again everybody would go along with it. We’re supposed to believe Hermione Granger, who formed S.P.E.W actually went along with this nonsense rather than fighting for her goddamn rights because we’re also supposed to believe this Bonded Marriage is equivalent to fated soul mates rather than the love spell that it is.
As such, we’re supposed to believe that Hermione Granger is fine with the law and only bothered by the fact she didn’t take the time to find someone to be bonded with. We’re supposed to believe she’s fine with being paired with Sirius whose old enough to be her father, but also the Godfather of one of her closest friends rather than being allowed a choice. Funny how, I think, if this law existed, Hermione would have taken the time, not to find someone to be married off to, but to fight the legality of the law. So, they marry, get drunk and have sex.
The end.
Oh. I guess I should cover the fact Sirius should also be bothered by this. And by this I don’t mean being a bother to Hermione as he puts in the story. Can we also not pretend the issue with this story isn’t the age gap or the writer choosing to use the time turner to make Hermione the age they wanted so the plot could take place when they wanted it rather than having it happen later on, which in reality non-issues?
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Notes: Pottersues is not going to hold back in saying this Bonded Marriage is just Amortentia in spell form. The fact Bonded Marriage, unlike Amortentia, is legal doesn’t make it morally right. My thoughts also jump to one of the comments posted to entries that I found in my inbox after taking a break which says, “You, that’s not a marriage contract, that’s literally slavery. In a world where this would actually be legally binding and enforced, the more logical and interesting solution would be to overthrow the system that would allow it.” Which is why marriage contract stories end up rated Awful or Toxic.
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Sample:
The truth is, she was late to the game and lost her chance for security. All the other seventeen year old muggleborns had paired up with a genuine love or a sympathetic pureblood, and because she thought she had time she ran out of it. She didn't have anyone she could ask, and even if she could, she isn't sure she would, because honestly, what is her worth above those other muggleborns? Oh, she knows she's politically important, knows she's strategically important - she's not in the habit of being stupid, after all - but they had families and friends and loved ones too, and she wasn't about to let this war change how she sees value in people. In a way, it would feel like letting Voldemort win.
So she sat there and calmly shot down everyone Sirius could think of, determined not to cry in front of Umbridge, and, to a lesser extent, in front of Sirius.
"Fred or George?"
"Already engaged. And no, I'm not asking them to break it off."
"Alright… Percy?"
"He'd just say to trust in the ministry."
"True. Charlie?"
"Can you get him here in the next two minutes?"
"Good point. Um… McLaggen? Chris or something was his first name?"
At this she just gave him a Look.
"Alright, alright, not him. Although I must say you can't really afford to be stingy, is all-"
"It's not stingy, he just wouldn't piss on me if I were on fire."
"Wow. Okay. What about-"
On and on it went - at one point, Professor McGonagall even made some suggestions, but in the end even she grew resigned to the inevitable - and then Hermione had had enough. "Sirius, stop!" Hermione commanded at two minutes 'till. Sirius jerked back as if struck, and she sighed, taking a deep breath to moderate her temper. It wasn't his fault, after all, and she didn't need to take it out on him. "I know you're just trying to help, but I assure you, I've thought of everyone you put on that list, and none of them will or can help me." She took a deep, shuddering breath, and wrapped her arms around her waist. I deserved at least that comfort, she told herself. "I just… I don't have time."