(no subject)
And I’ve found another story on the pit related to the whole COVID thing.
Title: Deja Vu
Perpetrator: LSUsweetie
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic - I was originally going to give this one the awful rating, but then we got to some of the stuff in the last two chapters.
Cover/Banner Art: None
Summary: “On a family holiday when the COVID-19 lockdowns begin, Fred and Hermione reminisce with their children about similar events that occurred sixteen years earlier. What happened when they found themselves in quarantine together?”
Full Name: Hermione Granger, Fred Weasley and their kids. One of the kids is named Felicity. The other, well, as I read the prologue I kept getting the impression the writer forgot Hermione and Fred had more than one child as they keep just mentioning their daughter.
Species: Not Hermione Granger and Fred Weasley even though the writer wants us to believe this is the case.
Hair: n/a
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Poessessions: Hermione has a mobile phone in the first chapter. In the second chapter, well, here is a description of how vain this Hermione is and more proof this is NOT Hermione. “ Choosing to put it out of her mind, she grabbed the only swimsuit she'd purchased for this trip and not yet worn. She should have never bought it in the first place but it was so amazing she hadn't been able to help herself. After she'd arrived, she quickly realized that it was impractical and would leave her with terrible tan lines if she actually wore it in the sun. But it was perfect for an evening dip in the hot tub. The suit was a gorgeous plum color and while it was technically a one-piece, it covered less than most of her bikinis did. The fabric was opaque only in the places that covered the important bits. The rest was made of plum-colored mesh with a few more strips of the opaque fabric artfully connecting the top to the bottom, crisscrossing over her stomach and back.” I mean, how many swimsuits does Hermione actually need? She of course wines about how skimpy this one is despite it being a one-piece.
Connection to Canon: For some reason Hermione is working with Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes which resulted in them going to a conference with each other, or more of this is the flashback event they’re telling their kids about. Actually, I know the reason. It’s there to prop the pairing without putting in any actual work in getting them together. The prologue where they’re having to rush home from vacation with their kids is certainly awkward. I mean, they’re talking about going to lockdown while they are still in the amusement park by having a sit down in the park, but Fred is somehow oblivious to what is going on while Hermione is the only one knowing what is going on thus being the one to have to put on a brave face for the kids, but neither one seems to really explain things to the kids until they get home which seems to be the appropriate time for Hermione and Fred to remiss with the kids instead of a time when it happened before. We then get into the story, which takes place in July of 2004 and Hermione is acting like an idiot as she goes into lockdown because “of all the rotten luck, why did someone at the converence they were attending have to come down with an unknown and vicious mutation of Dragon Pox?” which results in Hermione going into panic mode because she’s stuck in a two week quarantine, something the REAL Hermione Granger wouldn’t do, but then I found myself questioning why “the two of them were attending the annual Experimental Charms and Potions Conference together” when that really doesn’t seem like the best avenue for the WWW shop. Fred is of course conveniently there to comfort her, but then she starts prattling on about how, “genuinely, I’m thankful that we’re here together, and with this nice outdoor space. I just had a little moment at being locked in.” It’s then about them cozying up to each other, but for some reason this is an appropriate story to regail the kids. Weird things like them getting quarantined hits the news rather than, you know, the quarantine in general because Hermione and Fred are so special that they are far more important than everyone else at the conference. However, as I’m reading through the third chapter I find myself pitying their children. Well, child as there was only really one ever mentioned despite the fact the writer at times used the plural. This is not at all an appropriate story to relate to children of whom the oldest is going into Hogwarts the next year. There are a few things outside of Fred and Hermione snuggling as a couple during quarantine, such as “Friends and Family of Hermione Granger and Fred Weasley Demand Answers” from chapter four because - wow, they’re that special. A healer is needed for Fred in chapter five. In chapter eight, we learn “Muggle Disease Responsible For Mutation”. Hermione then proceeds to blame Muggles for the Dragon Pox mutation when it would had to have been a Wizard messing with Muggle illnesses. We see of course more of Hermione not acting like the strong female she is, because her so called true love almost died because of those damn Muggles. (No, that’s not how it is put, but that is how it came across.) Jumping back to the now, there is more whining on Hermione’s part. “Hermione stood at the cooktop, tossing together a quick meal. After the rich food at Walt Disney World and what ended up being nearly two full days of heavy meals that Molly provided, she was ready for lighter fare. The prawns cooked in a light garlic butter sauce and tossed with courgetti fit the bill. It was healthy, easy, and the entire family would eat it without complaint.” Nice job implying Molly wouldn’t have made healthy meals in the first place, but this just makes Hermione come across as a health snob. I wonder how she managed to get those ingredients given the fact someone else stocked her kitchen up. The story ends with them having to explain why they were married in April of 2005 and their daughter born in September of 2005. Felicity, who is apparently their only child, is off, but already talking about having sex with Scorpius Malfoy because her mother had sex with Viktor Krum in their forth year. Then again, the writer has Felicity starting at Hogwarts in the autum only for her to actually be fifteen.
Origin: We learn from the author’s note that the story was written for “Fremione Fanatics’ Summer Fic Fest.” Does the fact this was written for a challenge excuse the fact certain thematic devices are used to prop the pairing up without putting in any actual work in getting them together? No, it does not. Actually, as I’m reading the story I’m left wondering why Wizards from the UK are taking a vacation in the USA during the month of March. As for the mutation of Dragon Pox, this is the explanation given. “The latest development in the Swedish Dragon Pox brings a welcome reprieve with a new vaccine! Upon closer examination of Mr. Johanssen's notes, investigators discovered that he'd been experimenting with viral illnesses from the muggle world as well as the magical one. It was determined that Johanssen had injected himself with the measles virus only eight days before moving on to Dragon Pox. The incubation period in measles is 10-12 days, as Healer Stafford who is in charge of the investigation informs us, which Mr. Johanssen failed to account for as he moved onto the next set of testing... As the two viral strains combined in his body, a novel virus was created. Muggle-born witches and wizards seem immune to this new disease due to the practice of vaccinating muggle children against the measles. This vaccine has been used in Britain since 1948 following the Muggle Second World War.”
Special Abilities: “This was supposed to be their dream holiday. The trip of a lifetime before their eldest, Felicity, started at Hogwarts in the autumn. They'd only been in the United States for eight days, and they were scheduled to stay for nearly three more weeks. Walt Disney World, their current location, was only their first stop. In two days' time, they were set to spend some time seeing the beaches and a few other attractions in Florida before moving on to several other popular Muggle and magical tourist attractions and historical locations around the country.” Because we all know that the dream vacation of any Wizarding family in the UK involves the good old United States. As for the time Fred and Hermione get quarantined, they’re told, “DO NOT USE MAGIC. It has been discovered that this virus can deplete your magical core. Patients who have used less magic in the days leading up to the onset of their symptoms are experiencing a much less severe course of illness than those who have heavily used magic. Resort guests can still safely utilize the ordering system for food, beverages, television, and music. Using your wand simply activates these services; an existing charm is in place to perform the magic.”
`
Notes: So, the writer doesn’t actually identify the country they are from, but the dream drip to Disney World makes me suspect they’re from the USA, because I’m quite sure a writer from the actual UK area would have picked the London resort instead. As such, I am not hesitating in putting the Pepper Jack Cheese tag on this one.
Also, what is up with writers nerfing Hermione’s character just so some guy can sweep in and save the day? Well, because of a comment left by one of the minions on an entry a couple days ago I came up with a new tag - plot prop, for cases where something exists within the narrative just to prop up something, say the plot or the pairing.
Sample:
12 March 2020
They'd arrived back at their home in England a few short hours before. Though it had been morning when they left Florida, it was already growing dark outside on this side of the Atlantic. Hermione stood in the small potions lab they'd installed when they built their home. She was preparing a gentle sleep potion of her own creation. It wasn't addictive and didn't disrupt normal sleep patterns, the soothing valerian root and camomile blend was gentle for the little ones but strong enough for Fred and herself. They could take it just once to adjust to the different time zone more quickly, although she wasn't completely sure they needed it. The past couple of days had been stressful and exhausting enough.
Potion done, Hermione made her way back to the kitchen where Fred was heating their dinner. They'd been pleased to find that not only had Ginny filled their larder, but Molly, bless her beautiful soul, had sent over several days worth of food that was already prepared. They only needed to warm it up.
Once they'd all eaten their fill of the lovely meal, Hermione noticed that Felicity was watching her parents with interest. "Mum, you and Dad got together in a situation similar to this one, didn't you?"
Hermione nodded, smiling at her daughter and reaching to place a hand on Fred's arm. "We did. It wasn't exactly the same, the quarantine was limited just to the magical world. Your dad and I attended a conference together shortly after I started working for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. While we were there, one of the other attendees became very ill. The illness spread rapidly and the healers had no idea how to treat it. In order to try and contain it, they quarantined everyone at the conference in their hotel rooms. We had to stay there alone for two weeks."
Raising her wand, Hermione summoned her favourite photo album from the study, showing the very first image to her children. It was a much younger Fred and Hermione standing on the terrace of a lovely hotel suite...
Title: Deja Vu
Perpetrator: LSUsweetie
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic - I was originally going to give this one the awful rating, but then we got to some of the stuff in the last two chapters.
Cover/Banner Art: None
Summary: “On a family holiday when the COVID-19 lockdowns begin, Fred and Hermione reminisce with their children about similar events that occurred sixteen years earlier. What happened when they found themselves in quarantine together?”
Full Name: Hermione Granger, Fred Weasley and their kids. One of the kids is named Felicity. The other, well, as I read the prologue I kept getting the impression the writer forgot Hermione and Fred had more than one child as they keep just mentioning their daughter.
Species: Not Hermione Granger and Fred Weasley even though the writer wants us to believe this is the case.
Hair: n/a
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Poessessions: Hermione has a mobile phone in the first chapter. In the second chapter, well, here is a description of how vain this Hermione is and more proof this is NOT Hermione. “ Choosing to put it out of her mind, she grabbed the only swimsuit she'd purchased for this trip and not yet worn. She should have never bought it in the first place but it was so amazing she hadn't been able to help herself. After she'd arrived, she quickly realized that it was impractical and would leave her with terrible tan lines if she actually wore it in the sun. But it was perfect for an evening dip in the hot tub. The suit was a gorgeous plum color and while it was technically a one-piece, it covered less than most of her bikinis did. The fabric was opaque only in the places that covered the important bits. The rest was made of plum-colored mesh with a few more strips of the opaque fabric artfully connecting the top to the bottom, crisscrossing over her stomach and back.” I mean, how many swimsuits does Hermione actually need? She of course wines about how skimpy this one is despite it being a one-piece.
Connection to Canon: For some reason Hermione is working with Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes which resulted in them going to a conference with each other, or more of this is the flashback event they’re telling their kids about. Actually, I know the reason. It’s there to prop the pairing without putting in any actual work in getting them together. The prologue where they’re having to rush home from vacation with their kids is certainly awkward. I mean, they’re talking about going to lockdown while they are still in the amusement park by having a sit down in the park, but Fred is somehow oblivious to what is going on while Hermione is the only one knowing what is going on thus being the one to have to put on a brave face for the kids, but neither one seems to really explain things to the kids until they get home which seems to be the appropriate time for Hermione and Fred to remiss with the kids instead of a time when it happened before. We then get into the story, which takes place in July of 2004 and Hermione is acting like an idiot as she goes into lockdown because “of all the rotten luck, why did someone at the converence they were attending have to come down with an unknown and vicious mutation of Dragon Pox?” which results in Hermione going into panic mode because she’s stuck in a two week quarantine, something the REAL Hermione Granger wouldn’t do, but then I found myself questioning why “the two of them were attending the annual Experimental Charms and Potions Conference together” when that really doesn’t seem like the best avenue for the WWW shop. Fred is of course conveniently there to comfort her, but then she starts prattling on about how, “genuinely, I’m thankful that we’re here together, and with this nice outdoor space. I just had a little moment at being locked in.” It’s then about them cozying up to each other, but for some reason this is an appropriate story to regail the kids. Weird things like them getting quarantined hits the news rather than, you know, the quarantine in general because Hermione and Fred are so special that they are far more important than everyone else at the conference. However, as I’m reading through the third chapter I find myself pitying their children. Well, child as there was only really one ever mentioned despite the fact the writer at times used the plural. This is not at all an appropriate story to relate to children of whom the oldest is going into Hogwarts the next year. There are a few things outside of Fred and Hermione snuggling as a couple during quarantine, such as “Friends and Family of Hermione Granger and Fred Weasley Demand Answers” from chapter four because - wow, they’re that special. A healer is needed for Fred in chapter five. In chapter eight, we learn “Muggle Disease Responsible For Mutation”. Hermione then proceeds to blame Muggles for the Dragon Pox mutation when it would had to have been a Wizard messing with Muggle illnesses. We see of course more of Hermione not acting like the strong female she is, because her so called true love almost died because of those damn Muggles. (No, that’s not how it is put, but that is how it came across.) Jumping back to the now, there is more whining on Hermione’s part. “Hermione stood at the cooktop, tossing together a quick meal. After the rich food at Walt Disney World and what ended up being nearly two full days of heavy meals that Molly provided, she was ready for lighter fare. The prawns cooked in a light garlic butter sauce and tossed with courgetti fit the bill. It was healthy, easy, and the entire family would eat it without complaint.” Nice job implying Molly wouldn’t have made healthy meals in the first place, but this just makes Hermione come across as a health snob. I wonder how she managed to get those ingredients given the fact someone else stocked her kitchen up. The story ends with them having to explain why they were married in April of 2005 and their daughter born in September of 2005. Felicity, who is apparently their only child, is off, but already talking about having sex with Scorpius Malfoy because her mother had sex with Viktor Krum in their forth year. Then again, the writer has Felicity starting at Hogwarts in the autum only for her to actually be fifteen.
Origin: We learn from the author’s note that the story was written for “Fremione Fanatics’ Summer Fic Fest.” Does the fact this was written for a challenge excuse the fact certain thematic devices are used to prop the pairing up without putting in any actual work in getting them together? No, it does not. Actually, as I’m reading the story I’m left wondering why Wizards from the UK are taking a vacation in the USA during the month of March. As for the mutation of Dragon Pox, this is the explanation given. “The latest development in the Swedish Dragon Pox brings a welcome reprieve with a new vaccine! Upon closer examination of Mr. Johanssen's notes, investigators discovered that he'd been experimenting with viral illnesses from the muggle world as well as the magical one. It was determined that Johanssen had injected himself with the measles virus only eight days before moving on to Dragon Pox. The incubation period in measles is 10-12 days, as Healer Stafford who is in charge of the investigation informs us, which Mr. Johanssen failed to account for as he moved onto the next set of testing... As the two viral strains combined in his body, a novel virus was created. Muggle-born witches and wizards seem immune to this new disease due to the practice of vaccinating muggle children against the measles. This vaccine has been used in Britain since 1948 following the Muggle Second World War.”
Special Abilities: “This was supposed to be their dream holiday. The trip of a lifetime before their eldest, Felicity, started at Hogwarts in the autumn. They'd only been in the United States for eight days, and they were scheduled to stay for nearly three more weeks. Walt Disney World, their current location, was only their first stop. In two days' time, they were set to spend some time seeing the beaches and a few other attractions in Florida before moving on to several other popular Muggle and magical tourist attractions and historical locations around the country.” Because we all know that the dream vacation of any Wizarding family in the UK involves the good old United States. As for the time Fred and Hermione get quarantined, they’re told, “DO NOT USE MAGIC. It has been discovered that this virus can deplete your magical core. Patients who have used less magic in the days leading up to the onset of their symptoms are experiencing a much less severe course of illness than those who have heavily used magic. Resort guests can still safely utilize the ordering system for food, beverages, television, and music. Using your wand simply activates these services; an existing charm is in place to perform the magic.”
`
Notes: So, the writer doesn’t actually identify the country they are from, but the dream drip to Disney World makes me suspect they’re from the USA, because I’m quite sure a writer from the actual UK area would have picked the London resort instead. As such, I am not hesitating in putting the Pepper Jack Cheese tag on this one.
Also, what is up with writers nerfing Hermione’s character just so some guy can sweep in and save the day? Well, because of a comment left by one of the minions on an entry a couple days ago I came up with a new tag - plot prop, for cases where something exists within the narrative just to prop up something, say the plot or the pairing.
Sample:
12 March 2020
They'd arrived back at their home in England a few short hours before. Though it had been morning when they left Florida, it was already growing dark outside on this side of the Atlantic. Hermione stood in the small potions lab they'd installed when they built their home. She was preparing a gentle sleep potion of her own creation. It wasn't addictive and didn't disrupt normal sleep patterns, the soothing valerian root and camomile blend was gentle for the little ones but strong enough for Fred and herself. They could take it just once to adjust to the different time zone more quickly, although she wasn't completely sure they needed it. The past couple of days had been stressful and exhausting enough.
Potion done, Hermione made her way back to the kitchen where Fred was heating their dinner. They'd been pleased to find that not only had Ginny filled their larder, but Molly, bless her beautiful soul, had sent over several days worth of food that was already prepared. They only needed to warm it up.
Once they'd all eaten their fill of the lovely meal, Hermione noticed that Felicity was watching her parents with interest. "Mum, you and Dad got together in a situation similar to this one, didn't you?"
Hermione nodded, smiling at her daughter and reaching to place a hand on Fred's arm. "We did. It wasn't exactly the same, the quarantine was limited just to the magical world. Your dad and I attended a conference together shortly after I started working for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. While we were there, one of the other attendees became very ill. The illness spread rapidly and the healers had no idea how to treat it. In order to try and contain it, they quarantined everyone at the conference in their hotel rooms. We had to stay there alone for two weeks."
Raising her wand, Hermione summoned her favourite photo album from the study, showing the very first image to her children. It was a much younger Fred and Hermione standing on the terrace of a lovely hotel suite...