5032: Dragon Mistreess and the Khal - Avalynn Peverell
Don’t forget about the first bi-annual Pottersues Contest which is replacing the old annual Pottersues Contest. The theme for said contest is Gamer Fic. Since Gamer Fic is a rather new concept in fanfic, I’ve added links to three entries which feature a Gamer Fic. I’m also working on a list of common traits we find in Sue stories which make them Sue stories called More Than Thirteen Reasons Why.
Here is day six.
Title: Dragon Mistress and The Khal
Perpetrator: lillisa34
Sue-O-Meter: I debated between giving this one an awful or a toxic rating and finally decided to go with the toxic rating despite having only one chapter.
Cover/Banner Art: I believe the avatar is a picture of the writer.
Summary: “Avalynn Peverell is running from Death Eaters and finds herself crossing a portal to another world. Special Thanks to betterintexas for being the beta for this story! I will be updating this story every week.”
Full Name: Avalynn Peverell
Species: She’s a distant cousin to Harry Potter. “She was a trained Dragon Mistress
Hair: See markings.
Eyes: See markings.
Markings: “She was petite, but strong for her size, brunette with green eyes.” I’m hoping the three deep gashes from the mountain lion become scars.
Possessions: She has a Firebolt. She has a dagger with which she attacks a mountain lion.
Connection to Canon: Draco chases her and she decides to fly into a random portal despite the fact Draco crashed. She knows the place is different, but seers tell Khal Drogo she is coming and will change everything before going back to her dealing with a mountain lion. She’s able to go one-on-one with this beast and kills it. This is all so Drago will take her on as a mate because not only is she a strong warrior, but he can feel the magic in her. She is conveniently able to speak their language.
Origin: It’s the first story which does not involve - wait, we did have one other which involved portals. Still, quite a few have involved the reincarnating of characters.
Special Abilities: “Avalynn Peverell, the last of her line was a distant cousin to Harry Potter and this, to her complete annoyance, was another reason the Death Eaters wanted her.” No, that’s not a reason for them to come after her. She’s also a Dragon Mistress, which is a non-existent role in the HP universe. Draco also calls her a mudblood despite the fact he should know she’s pureblood, yet another thing which would not happen. She’s able to feel magic.
Notes: Is the summary the right place to credit your beta reader? This writer’s other stories uses the summary to include author’s notes as well. I wasn’t going to bring up the fact the writer said they would update every single week because they only had two chapters and these two chapters were months apart, but then I saw the content of the last chapter. It’s just an author’s note announcing they have writers block.
Sample:
Avalynn Peverell was not having a good day. She was in route transporting six dragon eggs that were due to hatch soon. The eggs rested in a special case imbued with magic that was incubating the eggs.
As she was trying to out run Death Eaters who were trying to not only steal the eggs, but also trying to capture Avalynn for her talent as a powerful witch and control of the Dragons that would soon hatch.
Avalynn Peverell, the last of her line was a distant cousin to Harry Potter and this, to her complete annoyance, was another reason the Death Eaters wanted her. She was petite, but strong for her size, brunette with green eyes. She was a trained Dragon Mistress. Her job was to protect the Dragon eggs, and once hatched, raise and train them to assist in the coming war with Voldemort. She placed the case in her backpack that had an extension charm and threw the bag over her shoulder. Deciding the fastest way to outrun the Death Eaters would be to fly.
She pulled her Firebolt broom out of a special pouch that on her hip and took off. Avalynn saw a Death Eater behind her and started firing off spells over her shoulder, hoping to slow down the attacker. The witch was shocked to discover that the attacker was none other than Draco Malfoy a follower of the Dark Lord.
"Get back here you filthy mudblood!" Draco yelled. Avalynn really pissed off by the word yelled back "For your information I am a pureblood you asshole!"
As she fires off an Avis and Oppugno Charm and Draco, screamed as a flock of angry birds flew out of her wand and attacked him, causing the blonde young sorcerer to crash to the ground.
Taking the opportunity to escape them, she flew as fast as the Firebolt would allow, continually looking behind her to see any incoming attack, she may not have seen before turning once again the front. She spied what looked like a shimmering portal.
Here is day six.
Title: Dragon Mistress and The Khal
Perpetrator: lillisa34
Sue-O-Meter: I debated between giving this one an awful or a toxic rating and finally decided to go with the toxic rating despite having only one chapter.
Cover/Banner Art: I believe the avatar is a picture of the writer.
Summary: “Avalynn Peverell is running from Death Eaters and finds herself crossing a portal to another world. Special Thanks to betterintexas for being the beta for this story! I will be updating this story every week.”
Full Name: Avalynn Peverell
Species: She’s a distant cousin to Harry Potter. “She was a trained Dragon Mistress
Hair: See markings.
Eyes: See markings.
Markings: “She was petite, but strong for her size, brunette with green eyes.” I’m hoping the three deep gashes from the mountain lion become scars.
Possessions: She has a Firebolt. She has a dagger with which she attacks a mountain lion.
Connection to Canon: Draco chases her and she decides to fly into a random portal despite the fact Draco crashed. She knows the place is different, but seers tell Khal Drogo she is coming and will change everything before going back to her dealing with a mountain lion. She’s able to go one-on-one with this beast and kills it. This is all so Drago will take her on as a mate because not only is she a strong warrior, but he can feel the magic in her. She is conveniently able to speak their language.
Origin: It’s the first story which does not involve - wait, we did have one other which involved portals. Still, quite a few have involved the reincarnating of characters.
Special Abilities: “Avalynn Peverell, the last of her line was a distant cousin to Harry Potter and this, to her complete annoyance, was another reason the Death Eaters wanted her.” No, that’s not a reason for them to come after her. She’s also a Dragon Mistress, which is a non-existent role in the HP universe. Draco also calls her a mudblood despite the fact he should know she’s pureblood, yet another thing which would not happen. She’s able to feel magic.
Notes: Is the summary the right place to credit your beta reader? This writer’s other stories uses the summary to include author’s notes as well. I wasn’t going to bring up the fact the writer said they would update every single week because they only had two chapters and these two chapters were months apart, but then I saw the content of the last chapter. It’s just an author’s note announcing they have writers block.
Sample:
Avalynn Peverell was not having a good day. She was in route transporting six dragon eggs that were due to hatch soon. The eggs rested in a special case imbued with magic that was incubating the eggs.
As she was trying to out run Death Eaters who were trying to not only steal the eggs, but also trying to capture Avalynn for her talent as a powerful witch and control of the Dragons that would soon hatch.
Avalynn Peverell, the last of her line was a distant cousin to Harry Potter and this, to her complete annoyance, was another reason the Death Eaters wanted her. She was petite, but strong for her size, brunette with green eyes. She was a trained Dragon Mistress. Her job was to protect the Dragon eggs, and once hatched, raise and train them to assist in the coming war with Voldemort. She placed the case in her backpack that had an extension charm and threw the bag over her shoulder. Deciding the fastest way to outrun the Death Eaters would be to fly.
She pulled her Firebolt broom out of a special pouch that on her hip and took off. Avalynn saw a Death Eater behind her and started firing off spells over her shoulder, hoping to slow down the attacker. The witch was shocked to discover that the attacker was none other than Draco Malfoy a follower of the Dark Lord.
"Get back here you filthy mudblood!" Draco yelled. Avalynn really pissed off by the word yelled back "For your information I am a pureblood you asshole!"
As she fires off an Avis and Oppugno Charm and Draco, screamed as a flock of angry birds flew out of her wand and attacked him, causing the blonde young sorcerer to crash to the ground.
Taking the opportunity to escape them, she flew as fast as the Firebolt would allow, continually looking behind her to see any incoming attack, she may not have seen before turning once again the front. She spied what looked like a shimmering portal.