4197: An Unlikely Bond - Slizerah "Slizz" Malfoy, Lavender "Lave" Longbottom
Ugh. Another one of these, and I’d just featured one. Oh well, it’s what I found with my current search means.
Title: An Unlikely Bond
Perpetrator: EAWickett
Sue-O-Meter: Awful (I wanted to give this one an “okay” or “bad” rating because I’ve got a soft spot for this one, but no playing favorites. It doesn’t go into the “toxic” because it doesn’t have that “toxic” feeling.)
Cover/Banner Art:
Summary: “Taking place at the end of The Deathly Hallows, an unlikely friendship forms between the daughters of our favorite characters! Let's see what they get up to in their first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” Yup. Another Neo-Marauder fic. Except, I find myself breathing a sigh of relief as I read the first few sentences.
Full Name: Sliserah “Slizz” Malfoy, Lavender “Lave” Longbottom, Professor Seltar, an Alice and Anna… (Double checks, no… their friends name is Alena.) … another Gregory Goyal
Species: Slizz is the daughter of Draco and Pansey. The second is the daughter of Luna and Neville.
Hair: “Her hair looked exactly the same, ice blue with jets of red.” I want someone to draw this hair, no matter how Sue-ish it ends up being. That’s Slizz, and Lavender has “long brown hair, almost bronze.”
Eyes: See possessions.
Markings: n/a
Possessions: “She was dressed in a long, flowing, ice-blue gown that matched her eyes. It was decorated with sparkling streaks of mahogany red shooting upwards from the bottom and fading away at the waist.” As Mary Sue-ish as this dress is, I kind of want to see it visually. That was “Slizz”, and Lavender’s is described as “a dark minidress with brown leggings that had holes in the knees.” Suddenly, I’m wondering why a student would want to wear Slizz’s dress on the train, as it can’t be very comfortable, but then again, Suethor’s tend to forget things such as comfort.
Connection to Canon: I’m suspecting the Suethor doesn’t understand why Draco would likely never end up with Pansy after the last book, or perhaps they’ve only seen the movies. The two have fighting words when they get onto the train. They’ve got attitude, and that’s about it. The second chapter is an author’s note talking about head trouble, and for some reason there is no chapter three, and then the fifth chapter is really short with only a few sentences. Umm… so, one of the reasons this doesn’t get a Toxic is because it never gets a good start into the Toxic realm, though it easily could have.
Origin: The writer is writing a Neo-Marauder fic, or so the summary tells me.
Special Abilities: We’ve actually found a super sweet old-fashioned classic Mary Sue, which I don’t get to see very often. Most people have no problems with not criticizing anti-Sues like Bella, but I think this Sue suffers the most because people see them as childish and immature, yet there is an innocence about this type of Mary Sue, and I don’t mind the fact it comes across that way, as I suspect the writer is themselves young.
Notes: The shortness of the chapters makes me suspect a young writer, so if you review, please keep that in mind. How else do you explain a name like Sliserah? I was actually prepared for another boring Neo-Marauder stories - you know, the ones which make a canon character child for each of the remaining marauders, but dumps them into the existing plot? This was actually rather interesting.
Sample:
"The name's Malfoy. Sliserah Malfoy. But you can call me Slizz," said the girl. She was dressed in a long, flowing, ice-blue gown that matched her eyes. It was decorated with sparkling streaks of mahogany red shooting upwards from the bottom and fading away at the waist. Her hair looked exactly the same, ice blue with jets of red.
The other girl, the one sitting across from her, had given a slight start when she entered the car, but now showed no sign of surprise about the girl's name or appearance. She herself had long brown hair, almost bronze. She was wearing a dark green minidress with brown leggings that had holes in the knees. "Lavender Longbottom," she said. "Daughter of Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood."
"Daughter of Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson," said Slizz. "I expect to see you in Slytherin. You've got the natural pull of one. I myself am certain of my placement. My family's been in Slytherin for ages. My father says that it's the only house good enough for a Malfoy."
"Oh really?" asked Lavender. "Are you sure it isn't-" She froze. Slizz had put her wand up to Lavender's throat.
"Finish that sentence, I dare you. See where it gets you."
Title: An Unlikely Bond
Perpetrator: EAWickett
Sue-O-Meter: Awful (I wanted to give this one an “okay” or “bad” rating because I’ve got a soft spot for this one, but no playing favorites. It doesn’t go into the “toxic” because it doesn’t have that “toxic” feeling.)
Cover/Banner Art:
Summary: “Taking place at the end of The Deathly Hallows, an unlikely friendship forms between the daughters of our favorite characters! Let's see what they get up to in their first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” Yup. Another Neo-Marauder fic. Except, I find myself breathing a sigh of relief as I read the first few sentences.
Full Name: Sliserah “Slizz” Malfoy, Lavender “Lave” Longbottom, Professor Seltar, an Alice and Anna… (Double checks, no… their friends name is Alena.) … another Gregory Goyal
Species: Slizz is the daughter of Draco and Pansey. The second is the daughter of Luna and Neville.
Hair: “Her hair looked exactly the same, ice blue with jets of red.” I want someone to draw this hair, no matter how Sue-ish it ends up being. That’s Slizz, and Lavender has “long brown hair, almost bronze.”
Eyes: See possessions.
Markings: n/a
Possessions: “She was dressed in a long, flowing, ice-blue gown that matched her eyes. It was decorated with sparkling streaks of mahogany red shooting upwards from the bottom and fading away at the waist.” As Mary Sue-ish as this dress is, I kind of want to see it visually. That was “Slizz”, and Lavender’s is described as “a dark minidress with brown leggings that had holes in the knees.” Suddenly, I’m wondering why a student would want to wear Slizz’s dress on the train, as it can’t be very comfortable, but then again, Suethor’s tend to forget things such as comfort.
Connection to Canon: I’m suspecting the Suethor doesn’t understand why Draco would likely never end up with Pansy after the last book, or perhaps they’ve only seen the movies. The two have fighting words when they get onto the train. They’ve got attitude, and that’s about it. The second chapter is an author’s note talking about head trouble, and for some reason there is no chapter three, and then the fifth chapter is really short with only a few sentences. Umm… so, one of the reasons this doesn’t get a Toxic is because it never gets a good start into the Toxic realm, though it easily could have.
Origin: The writer is writing a Neo-Marauder fic, or so the summary tells me.
Special Abilities: We’ve actually found a super sweet old-fashioned classic Mary Sue, which I don’t get to see very often. Most people have no problems with not criticizing anti-Sues like Bella, but I think this Sue suffers the most because people see them as childish and immature, yet there is an innocence about this type of Mary Sue, and I don’t mind the fact it comes across that way, as I suspect the writer is themselves young.
Notes: The shortness of the chapters makes me suspect a young writer, so if you review, please keep that in mind. How else do you explain a name like Sliserah? I was actually prepared for another boring Neo-Marauder stories - you know, the ones which make a canon character child for each of the remaining marauders, but dumps them into the existing plot? This was actually rather interesting.
Sample:
"The name's Malfoy. Sliserah Malfoy. But you can call me Slizz," said the girl. She was dressed in a long, flowing, ice-blue gown that matched her eyes. It was decorated with sparkling streaks of mahogany red shooting upwards from the bottom and fading away at the waist. Her hair looked exactly the same, ice blue with jets of red.
The other girl, the one sitting across from her, had given a slight start when she entered the car, but now showed no sign of surprise about the girl's name or appearance. She herself had long brown hair, almost bronze. She was wearing a dark green minidress with brown leggings that had holes in the knees. "Lavender Longbottom," she said. "Daughter of Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood."
"Daughter of Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson," said Slizz. "I expect to see you in Slytherin. You've got the natural pull of one. I myself am certain of my placement. My family's been in Slytherin for ages. My father says that it's the only house good enough for a Malfoy."
"Oh really?" asked Lavender. "Are you sure it isn't-" She froze. Slizz had put her wand up to Lavender's throat.
"Finish that sentence, I dare you. See where it gets you."