4080: Breathing Underwater - Aurora Lily Lupin Black
- The link of the day is When is a Mary Sue an Anti Sue.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
TITLE: Breathing Underwater
PERPETRATOR: AllISeeAreStars
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: Her avatar is a picture
SUMMARY:”Aurora Lily Lupin Black is the only daughter of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. She spent her first two years of schooling at Beauxbatons, but now with one father on the run from Aurors, and the other teaching- she starts her third year at Hogwarts and quickly befriends the trio. Then she starts having feelings for the Potions Master. An eventual Severus/Aurora romance.”
FULL NAME: Aurora Lily Lupin Black
SPECIES: mpreg baby
HAIR:
EYES:
MARKINGS:
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: Chapter one, she’s dropped into the plot and adds nothing except her sugary sweet personality and perfect relationship with her Papa Lupin. She instantly becomes good friends with the Fat Lady by the end. She instantly volunteers for Buckbeak in chapter two. Again, she adds nothing to the plot except being her special Sue self.
ORIGIN: I’d suspect the writer was on the young side, but they say on their profile, “I have a wonderful dog named Aggie, and an even more amazing husband named Steven. I am a bitchy sarcastic adrenaline junkie, I don’t agree that both parents are necessary for a happy and healthy child. I cuss worse than sailors.” So, instead perhaps the writer is obsessed with kink? Is it okay though to romanticize unhealthy relationships? I’m talking about the student/teacher relationship, not the slash one, but then you have your typical slash trope that two gays can’t be happy unless they have a baby. Or is this one of those writers who lied about being married to make themselves seem older? I honestly don’t know.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She’s apparently born from an mpreg. Add to this, Lupin is absolutely fine with having a child at this point in time despite the fact he is worried about passing on his lycanthropy. She’s also to eventually date Severus despite the fact Severus is in love with Lily, and it is a teacher/student relationship.
NOTES: Intervention time on this one, and not because we should lend a helping hand when the writer is new and doing a face palm story like this for what seems like their first story, but because this is the first review the writer got.
“What the fuck is this shit? Are you retarded or something? You have zero talent, you're an attention seeking fucktard. Begging for reviews. You are a fucking asshole. Now FUCK OFF and do something useful like take an overdose.”
I don’t think the writer knows you can moderate guest reviews. What makes matters worse is this writer is not begging for reviews. She simply says on her profile that “reviews make me update faster!!” This said, I do find it a bit odd that someone who’s old enough to be married would write a Sue this bad, as most are familiar enough with fandom to avoid this type of Sue. However, the writer also notes that they only recently got into fanfic “a few years ago”, or at least this site.
SAMPLE:
I pulled my father by his arm through the crowds of the train station.
"Come on, Papa!" I yelled happily.
I was finally going to Hogwarts, where my parents went, after two years of Beauxbatons. Granted, it was only because my other father, Sirius Black was loose. Papa was to be the new DADA professor and wanted to keep me close and safe.
We found an empty compartment, but Papa fell asleep leaving me to my own devices. Bored, I froze the water bottle on the windowsill, unfroze, and then froze it again. I'm an Elemental. I can control the elements: make wind blow, waves in water, light candles, etc. Tell you the truth I can be a bit of a show-off with it. My uncle, Regulus could do it too- I guess it runs in the family.
The compartment door opened and there was a girl with bushy, brown hair and in a long sleeve striped shirt. "Do you mind?" she asked. "Everywhere else is full."
I smiled. "Not at all."
Two boys followed her in and sat on either side of her.
"You're Harry Potter," I said to the one on her left. "You look just like Uncle James did."
The three of them just looked at me.
"My parents were best friends with yours at Hogwarts." I explained, wishing I would just stop talking. I blushed and looked away.
"I'm Hermione Granger," the girl said, holding her hand out. "And this is Ron Weasley."
I shook her hand.
"Aurora Lily Lupin Black."
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
TITLE: Breathing Underwater
PERPETRATOR: AllISeeAreStars
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: Her avatar is a picture
SUMMARY:”Aurora Lily Lupin Black is the only daughter of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. She spent her first two years of schooling at Beauxbatons, but now with one father on the run from Aurors, and the other teaching- she starts her third year at Hogwarts and quickly befriends the trio. Then she starts having feelings for the Potions Master. An eventual Severus/Aurora romance.”
FULL NAME: Aurora Lily Lupin Black
SPECIES: mpreg baby
HAIR:
EYES:
MARKINGS:
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: Chapter one, she’s dropped into the plot and adds nothing except her sugary sweet personality and perfect relationship with her Papa Lupin. She instantly becomes good friends with the Fat Lady by the end. She instantly volunteers for Buckbeak in chapter two. Again, she adds nothing to the plot except being her special Sue self.
ORIGIN: I’d suspect the writer was on the young side, but they say on their profile, “I have a wonderful dog named Aggie, and an even more amazing husband named Steven. I am a bitchy sarcastic adrenaline junkie, I don’t agree that both parents are necessary for a happy and healthy child. I cuss worse than sailors.” So, instead perhaps the writer is obsessed with kink? Is it okay though to romanticize unhealthy relationships? I’m talking about the student/teacher relationship, not the slash one, but then you have your typical slash trope that two gays can’t be happy unless they have a baby. Or is this one of those writers who lied about being married to make themselves seem older? I honestly don’t know.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: She’s apparently born from an mpreg. Add to this, Lupin is absolutely fine with having a child at this point in time despite the fact he is worried about passing on his lycanthropy. She’s also to eventually date Severus despite the fact Severus is in love with Lily, and it is a teacher/student relationship.
NOTES: Intervention time on this one, and not because we should lend a helping hand when the writer is new and doing a face palm story like this for what seems like their first story, but because this is the first review the writer got.
“What the fuck is this shit? Are you retarded or something? You have zero talent, you're an attention seeking fucktard. Begging for reviews. You are a fucking asshole. Now FUCK OFF and do something useful like take an overdose.”
I don’t think the writer knows you can moderate guest reviews. What makes matters worse is this writer is not begging for reviews. She simply says on her profile that “reviews make me update faster!!” This said, I do find it a bit odd that someone who’s old enough to be married would write a Sue this bad, as most are familiar enough with fandom to avoid this type of Sue. However, the writer also notes that they only recently got into fanfic “a few years ago”, or at least this site.
SAMPLE:
I pulled my father by his arm through the crowds of the train station.
"Come on, Papa!" I yelled happily.
I was finally going to Hogwarts, where my parents went, after two years of Beauxbatons. Granted, it was only because my other father, Sirius Black was loose. Papa was to be the new DADA professor and wanted to keep me close and safe.
We found an empty compartment, but Papa fell asleep leaving me to my own devices. Bored, I froze the water bottle on the windowsill, unfroze, and then froze it again. I'm an Elemental. I can control the elements: make wind blow, waves in water, light candles, etc. Tell you the truth I can be a bit of a show-off with it. My uncle, Regulus could do it too- I guess it runs in the family.
The compartment door opened and there was a girl with bushy, brown hair and in a long sleeve striped shirt. "Do you mind?" she asked. "Everywhere else is full."
I smiled. "Not at all."
Two boys followed her in and sat on either side of her.
"You're Harry Potter," I said to the one on her left. "You look just like Uncle James did."
The three of them just looked at me.
"My parents were best friends with yours at Hogwarts." I explained, wishing I would just stop talking. I blushed and looked away.
"I'm Hermione Granger," the girl said, holding her hand out. "And this is Ron Weasley."
I shook her hand.
"Aurora Lily Lupin Black."