4033: Dancing in the Shadows - Erebus and his mother, and Harry Potter
- The link of the day is Essay on Fan Fiction, and here are some of the previous links of the day which you may find useful.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
Day nine is nine maids a-milking. I skipped six geese a laying, which put everything off, so I’ll do that one tomorrow.
TITLE: Dancing in the Shadows
PERPETRATOR: Furukizu Kishi
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: It is a black picture. By this, I really do mean a wall of black.
SUMMARY:”Light magic; dark magic. This dichotomy has existed in the wizarding community for centuries. So, what if the great Harry Potter, defender of light, managed to befriend a boy who could control shadows long before getting to Hogwarts? Could dark magic actually be that evil? Or is there no dichotomy, no distinction, only magic? [AU, OC, Strong!OC, Strong!OOC!Harry, New magic type]”
FULL NAME: Erebus and his mother Kalyna, Harry Potter
SPECIES: According to the writer, Erebus is part Arab at least, but his mother’s name says otherwise.
HAIR: black probably
EYES: black
MARKINGS: “Like all those on her side of the family, her hair was as black as night, and her eyes, though once very dark brown, were now a deep mix between maroon and crimson. Her skin was of a darker complexion, almost Arab in tone, which her son had surely inherited, though with somewhat lighter skin that what was usual.”
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: We start off with both children being seven. Erebus’ mother decides Harry is suffering from neglect. Someone talks to Dumbledore about Harry being special. Then, Filtch’s cat almost gets eaten by a “maw of shadows”. That was kind of funny, but it also showed up within Hogwarts grounds despite the fact Hogwarts is supposed to be super protected from stuff like this. Erebes retrieves Harry’s letter, something which should never, ever happen. (At least that’s what I think happened.) Erebus is also interacting with Dudley, rather than stealing Harry away, and deals with the bully cousin. Five hours later Erebus is in the half-lotus meditative position practicing his shadow magic. (He’s pretty much doing wandless magic, and is unmonitored, among many, many other things. Then Harry goes with Hagrid, a few repeating of lines, but not as much as usual. Then there is diagon alley and the two getting wands. The last chapter up is the train ride.
ORIGIN: For some reason the writer things warning for “AU, OC as main character, Strong!OC, Eventual Strong!Harry, new type of magic, OOC!Harry” will prevent people from calling them out for impossible changes to the canon material, an OC stealing the spotlight from the canon characters, an OC being a Mary Sue and not really a strong character, turning Harry into a Gary Stu as well, preforming canon defilement by adding their new type of magic which one can tell from the summary contradicts canon, and of course the fact Harry is OoC instead of IC like he should be.” WE also get this in an author’s note in the first chapter. “As you can see, this fanfic is going to be an AU (Alternate Universe) fic. This fic also uses an OC as a main character, as well as creates a new type of magic as a main focus. If you don't like it, then I'm saying it here as well as up the page. […] Onto my main OC, Erebus. He is going to be a main character, but he isn't going to take over Harry's duties. Harry is the chosen one, and it was him who was marked by Voldemort. It wouldn't make sense to have someone else steal his role if certain factors have already been decided that chose his path before the story even began. […] I'll also try my best to refrain from bashing. I will try to point out a characters faults, but I won't go out of my way to make them look unnecessarily evil if they aren't.”
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Kalyna “shadow travels”, which is supposed to be the ability to travel via shadows, but how is that any different then apparating? “As a shadowdancer, I can feel his power as a point of concentrated dark magic. Dark magic and the shadow plane are intrinsically linked, you know.” (Rolls eyes. Stop making up stuff that obviously contradicts canon.)
NOTES: Did the writer actually bother to do their research? They describe Erebus’ mother Kalyana as Arab, and yet her name originates from Sanskrit or the hindu culture, but is also a name used mainly as a male name. Erebus is Greek. Then again, they are sadly unaware of the wide variety of skin tones among Arab people ranging from very pale skin to very dark. While the writer doesn’t get the fact an AU isn’t something that allows a writer freedom to do whatever with the canon material, or that taking over Harry’s duties isn’t the only trap an OC can fall into - in this case this one serves no real purpose except to add unneeded features to the original material - they are trying to avoid character bashing, for which I must applaud them.
In fact, while I give this a toxic rating, I chalk a lot of the issues up to the writer not quite understanding believability yet more than an attempt to write a better version. The plot is actually original, and interesting. The writer is very creative, but also managed to put an original spin on already exiting scenes rather than the normal, boring copying. I want to see how their writing has grown in a year or two.
SAMPLE:
I remember every person I have guided, every life I have taken.
They all say they will not follow me.
The fools, they always relent.
The mood was cloudy in the Dursley household as they sat for dinner. Of course, there was one chair out of the four left unfilled - there almost always was, but that young boy, they thought, was best left out of sight and out of mind, especially at mealtimes.
Of course, it was at these moments where the most things were said in the cacophony of silence that permeated the family air, the sombre mood only accentuated by the lack of a resident, to always remind them of their mistreatment of a certain 7-year old boy by the name of Harry Potter.
Especially this evening, where just hours before, they had been questioned on his absence by a new family that had just moved in. He was actually in his room - if you could call it that, just a little cupboard under the stairs, but of course, they couldn't tell them that. It would have given off a very bad impression of them, and they didn't want that. But it did however cause them to think upon the reasons for their mistreatment of the child. Could it have been because he was able to perform magic; cast spells and tricks? No, of course not, magic couldn't exist, could it?
As soon as the door shut, Erebus was off, bounding from his toy train set in the living room to the kitchen, where his mother was preparing his lunch for tomorrow, the first day of his new school.
"Mommy, who were those people just now?" Erebus cocked his head to the right, black eyes widened in curiosity.
"They were just our new neighbours, sweetie. They just wanted to pop in and say hello. Now, I think your father wants you up to bed. Off you go." Erebus' mother Kalyna was a kind woman, not one to violence, despite her family history. Like all those on her side of the family, her hair was as black as night, and her eyes, though once very dark brown, were now a deep mix between maroon and crimson. Her skin was of a darker complexion, almost Arab in tone, which her son had surely inherited, though with somewhat lighter skin than what was usual.
The three of them, Kalyna, Michael and their son Erebus, were a happy family, despite the fact that two of the three were, in fact, of magical descent. Kalyna and Erebus were both sorcerers, and while it may have surprised some that Michael was a muggle, considering this, and surprised even more that magic was common in the household, they were still a very happy family.
It was of no surprise to anyone then, when Erebus gave his mother a quick hug, and melted into the shadows in the corner of the room, only to reappear in his bedroom, where his father was waiting for him.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
Day nine is nine maids a-milking. I skipped six geese a laying, which put everything off, so I’ll do that one tomorrow.
TITLE: Dancing in the Shadows
PERPETRATOR: Furukizu Kishi
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: It is a black picture. By this, I really do mean a wall of black.
SUMMARY:”Light magic; dark magic. This dichotomy has existed in the wizarding community for centuries. So, what if the great Harry Potter, defender of light, managed to befriend a boy who could control shadows long before getting to Hogwarts? Could dark magic actually be that evil? Or is there no dichotomy, no distinction, only magic? [AU, OC, Strong!OC, Strong!OOC!Harry, New magic type]”
FULL NAME: Erebus and his mother Kalyna, Harry Potter
SPECIES: According to the writer, Erebus is part Arab at least, but his mother’s name says otherwise.
HAIR: black probably
EYES: black
MARKINGS: “Like all those on her side of the family, her hair was as black as night, and her eyes, though once very dark brown, were now a deep mix between maroon and crimson. Her skin was of a darker complexion, almost Arab in tone, which her son had surely inherited, though with somewhat lighter skin that what was usual.”
POSSESSIONS:
CONNECTION TO CANON: We start off with both children being seven. Erebus’ mother decides Harry is suffering from neglect. Someone talks to Dumbledore about Harry being special. Then, Filtch’s cat almost gets eaten by a “maw of shadows”. That was kind of funny, but it also showed up within Hogwarts grounds despite the fact Hogwarts is supposed to be super protected from stuff like this. Erebes retrieves Harry’s letter, something which should never, ever happen. (At least that’s what I think happened.) Erebus is also interacting with Dudley, rather than stealing Harry away, and deals with the bully cousin. Five hours later Erebus is in the half-lotus meditative position practicing his shadow magic. (He’s pretty much doing wandless magic, and is unmonitored, among many, many other things. Then Harry goes with Hagrid, a few repeating of lines, but not as much as usual. Then there is diagon alley and the two getting wands. The last chapter up is the train ride.
ORIGIN: For some reason the writer things warning for “AU, OC as main character, Strong!OC, Eventual Strong!Harry, new type of magic, OOC!Harry” will prevent people from calling them out for impossible changes to the canon material, an OC stealing the spotlight from the canon characters, an OC being a Mary Sue and not really a strong character, turning Harry into a Gary Stu as well, preforming canon defilement by adding their new type of magic which one can tell from the summary contradicts canon, and of course the fact Harry is OoC instead of IC like he should be.” WE also get this in an author’s note in the first chapter. “As you can see, this fanfic is going to be an AU (Alternate Universe) fic. This fic also uses an OC as a main character, as well as creates a new type of magic as a main focus. If you don't like it, then I'm saying it here as well as up the page. […] Onto my main OC, Erebus. He is going to be a main character, but he isn't going to take over Harry's duties. Harry is the chosen one, and it was him who was marked by Voldemort. It wouldn't make sense to have someone else steal his role if certain factors have already been decided that chose his path before the story even began. […] I'll also try my best to refrain from bashing. I will try to point out a characters faults, but I won't go out of my way to make them look unnecessarily evil if they aren't.”
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Kalyna “shadow travels”, which is supposed to be the ability to travel via shadows, but how is that any different then apparating? “As a shadowdancer, I can feel his power as a point of concentrated dark magic. Dark magic and the shadow plane are intrinsically linked, you know.” (Rolls eyes. Stop making up stuff that obviously contradicts canon.)
NOTES: Did the writer actually bother to do their research? They describe Erebus’ mother Kalyana as Arab, and yet her name originates from Sanskrit or the hindu culture, but is also a name used mainly as a male name. Erebus is Greek. Then again, they are sadly unaware of the wide variety of skin tones among Arab people ranging from very pale skin to very dark. While the writer doesn’t get the fact an AU isn’t something that allows a writer freedom to do whatever with the canon material, or that taking over Harry’s duties isn’t the only trap an OC can fall into - in this case this one serves no real purpose except to add unneeded features to the original material - they are trying to avoid character bashing, for which I must applaud them.
In fact, while I give this a toxic rating, I chalk a lot of the issues up to the writer not quite understanding believability yet more than an attempt to write a better version. The plot is actually original, and interesting. The writer is very creative, but also managed to put an original spin on already exiting scenes rather than the normal, boring copying. I want to see how their writing has grown in a year or two.
SAMPLE:
I remember every person I have guided, every life I have taken.
They all say they will not follow me.
The fools, they always relent.
The mood was cloudy in the Dursley household as they sat for dinner. Of course, there was one chair out of the four left unfilled - there almost always was, but that young boy, they thought, was best left out of sight and out of mind, especially at mealtimes.
Of course, it was at these moments where the most things were said in the cacophony of silence that permeated the family air, the sombre mood only accentuated by the lack of a resident, to always remind them of their mistreatment of a certain 7-year old boy by the name of Harry Potter.
Especially this evening, where just hours before, they had been questioned on his absence by a new family that had just moved in. He was actually in his room - if you could call it that, just a little cupboard under the stairs, but of course, they couldn't tell them that. It would have given off a very bad impression of them, and they didn't want that. But it did however cause them to think upon the reasons for their mistreatment of the child. Could it have been because he was able to perform magic; cast spells and tricks? No, of course not, magic couldn't exist, could it?
As soon as the door shut, Erebus was off, bounding from his toy train set in the living room to the kitchen, where his mother was preparing his lunch for tomorrow, the first day of his new school.
"Mommy, who were those people just now?" Erebus cocked his head to the right, black eyes widened in curiosity.
"They were just our new neighbours, sweetie. They just wanted to pop in and say hello. Now, I think your father wants you up to bed. Off you go." Erebus' mother Kalyna was a kind woman, not one to violence, despite her family history. Like all those on her side of the family, her hair was as black as night, and her eyes, though once very dark brown, were now a deep mix between maroon and crimson. Her skin was of a darker complexion, almost Arab in tone, which her son had surely inherited, though with somewhat lighter skin than what was usual.
The three of them, Kalyna, Michael and their son Erebus, were a happy family, despite the fact that two of the three were, in fact, of magical descent. Kalyna and Erebus were both sorcerers, and while it may have surprised some that Michael was a muggle, considering this, and surprised even more that magic was common in the household, they were still a very happy family.
It was of no surprise to anyone then, when Erebus gave his mother a quick hug, and melted into the shadows in the corner of the room, only to reappear in his bedroom, where his father was waiting for him.