3726: Muggle & The Death Eater - Riley Smith and company
- The link of the day is Metafandom on Marysue, and here are some of the previous links of the day which you may find useful. You also know there is a problem when someone says “notice that there’s no equivalent of a Sparkleypoo comic about historical anachronisms or a litmus test for fangirl Japanese.” The writer didn’t make a guess as to why that might be. Some are good mind you, but most I read made me face palm.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
- The Fourteenth Annual Pottersues is also currently running.
TITLE: Muggle & The Death Eater
PERPETRATOR: Kay1990
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: Her avatar is a bunch of cupcakes with cherries on top.
SUMMARY:”Riley is just your average 18 year old worried about final exams and prom. Her mom's old friend shows up and asks for a favor. He wants them to house murderers to keep them safe. She then meets a man that will change her life forever. Barty Crouch Jr/OC”
FULL NAME: Riley Smith, Caronline James, Jessica Green
SPECIES: n/a
HAIR: See markings…
EYES: See markings…
MARKINGS: “Edward Moss is a short, chubby boy with an acne problem. He has curly black hair and beady blue eyes. His nose looks like it has been punch a few times. He has little tiny yellow teeth that looks weird when he smiles. He smells like he doesn't own a shower and he wears clothes that doesn't fit him. His clothes are always too tight.” And… “Jessica Green is a hot tempered red head. She is tall and thin. Her long red hair reaches her lower back. Her eyes are a light blue and light freckles are sprinkled across her nose. Jessica loves to fight and can curse like a sailor. We have been friends since kindergarten.” And… “Caroline James is a quirky blonde. She acts like a dumb blonde but it is all an act. She is very smart and has the highest marks in the school. She could be valedictorian but she didn't want to. She is just a little bit shorter than Jessica. She has chin length blonde hair and warm brown eyes. We have been friends since the 3rd grade.” And… “I turned my head and glared at Nicole Washington. Nicole Washington is the top slut of the school. She has opened her legs to almost all the guys in the school. She is a sickly thin girl with raven hair. Her eyes are almost too big and lips are fat from injections. She is such a pain in the ass.” (Now, how much is that actually true, when the Sue describes her friends in positive, glowing terms, and those she doesn’t like with a passionate venom?)
POSSESSIONS: Caroline has a brother named Sterling. Her mom has a ton of pictures. “Picture 1. Susan Smith & Sirius Black; Picture 2. Susan Smith, Lily & James Potter; Picture 3. Susan Smith, Arthur & Molly Weasley; Picture 4. Susan Smith, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin & James Potter.”
CONNECTION TO CANON: The story starts off with a young lady who supposedly likes her English class, but is bored when the teacher asks for a “3 paper essay on how you relate to the main character”. I’m sure the writer meant three pages. I don’t know about you, but I know a lot of my classmates would have loved to have a three-page essay like this their senior year, particularly with it being so close to graduation. She then whines about her stalker named Edward Moss. (In reality, Edward didn’t come across as a stalker, but more of that poor kid in high school who has a crush on the pretty girl, only to find their attentions snubbed because the girl thinks they’re ugly and smelly.) She proceeds to talk about poor Edward in gym with her best friends Jessica Green and Caroline James. All three laugh at the letter, and Jessica throws a ball at Edward, but it hits the window instead. (Yes, the writer has him randomly show up, and “when we made eye contact he licked his lips and I suddenly felt sick”, but I felt it was forced. The writer is after all, pairing her OC up with Barty because she thinks he’s cute, and yet ugly guy gets painted as a stalker. Then, in gym she runs into her “bully”, Nicole Washington. Nothing happens, but she does get another creepy letter from her “forced” stalker. Sirius randomly shows up and says, “Now that Voldemort is dead, umm, someone has been killing off Death Eaters. WE figured that they would be safe here.” He leaves, and in the second chapter she finds a bunch of pictures and her mother’s diary, the implication being here that Sirius is possibly her father. The story stops there, but it should be noted that Sirius also comes across as a stalker as well. I find myself baffled how Sirius and Barty aren't called out, but Edward is, until I remember Edward is ugly. What a nasty double standard.
ORIGIN: I suspect the writer is sixteen, so I think the idea appeals to her because it is out there, not because it is a good idea.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Sirius is alive, Barty is alive. Only the Sue’s friends are perfect, and the guys who are creepy stalkers, or sluts. Only two chapters, and I’ve got to give the writer a Toxic rating for this one. And no Suethor, you've done nothing to convince me that Riley really likes her English class, or that her blond friend isn't a dumb blond with good grades. They feel like lies.
NOTES: I’m guessing the year 1990 has some kind of significance for the Suethor. This doesn’t seem like the story a thirty-four year old would write, so I doubt this is her high school graduation year. That means 1990 is likely the year the Suethor is born, so I suspect she’s only sixteen, which would explain why the cringe factor goes over the writer’s head. In fact, she has another story for the Avengers called “The Avengers Soul Mate”. The summary reads…
”Soul mates are a rare thing. Being the soulmate of 5 is unheard of. Makayla's family is with a group that is against people who are marked as soul mates. What happens when she meets hers right after the attack in New York? Clint/Natasha/Steve/OC/Tony/BruceSoul mates are a rare thing. Being the soulmate of 5 is unheard of. Makayla's family is with a group that is against people who are marked as soul mates. What happens when she meets hers right after the attack in New York?
Clint/Natasha/Steve/OC/Tony/BruceSoul mates are a rare thing. Being the soulmate of 5 is unheard of. Makayla's family is with a group that is against people who are marked as soul mates. What happens when she meets hers right after the attack in New York? Clint/Natasha/Steve/OC/Tony/Bruce”
Nobody’s heard of a five-way soul mate because that defeats the purpose of a soul mate. I’m not saying people can’t have more than one-soul mate, particularly since I know there are people out there whose first soul mate passes away, or to whom they grow apart. The problem is there is more than one at a time here.
However, if she is sixteen, she’s had the account since 2011, so the writer wasn’t old enough to have an account.
SAMPLE:
"So class, I want you to pick a book, read it and write a 3 paper essay on how you relate to the main character…"
I sighed as I listened to Mr. Curtis drone on and on about our new book report/ essay. I tapped my pen against my notebook and looked up at the clock. Almost time for hell aka gym. At least gym is my last class of the day. I then looked at my notebook and started to doodle on it. I usually love my English class but today it is just boring. As I was drawing another flower a paper note landed on my desk. I picked it up and saw that it was addressed to me. I carefully opened it and started to read.
Dear Riley,
My life is beautiful because of you my love my lady love. You entered into my life as a candlelight in the dark. You showed me the meaning of love with not your words but with your care. I know your shy nature doesn't let you open up to me; but your eyes speak up the love you have for me.
Love,
Edward Moss
What the hell? I looked over to where Edward was sitting at. When I noticed that he was staring at me I could feel the color drain from my face and feel my stomach drop. Why do I attract the creepers? Edward Moss has been stalking me since freshmen year. I have turned him down who knows how many times. One of my best friends, Jessica has threatened him as well. This guy is just not getting the point!
Edward Moss is a short, chubby boy with an acne problem. He has curly black hair and beady blue eyes. His nose looks like it has been punch a few times. He has little tiny yellow teeth that looks weird when he smiles. He smells like he doesn't own a shower and he wears clothes that doesn't fit him. His clothes are always too tight.
- Flashback Sue
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
- The Fourteenth Annual Pottersues is also currently running.
TITLE: Muggle & The Death Eater
PERPETRATOR: Kay1990
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: Her avatar is a bunch of cupcakes with cherries on top.
SUMMARY:”Riley is just your average 18 year old worried about final exams and prom. Her mom's old friend shows up and asks for a favor. He wants them to house murderers to keep them safe. She then meets a man that will change her life forever. Barty Crouch Jr/OC”
FULL NAME: Riley Smith, Caronline James, Jessica Green
SPECIES: n/a
HAIR: See markings…
EYES: See markings…
MARKINGS: “Edward Moss is a short, chubby boy with an acne problem. He has curly black hair and beady blue eyes. His nose looks like it has been punch a few times. He has little tiny yellow teeth that looks weird when he smiles. He smells like he doesn't own a shower and he wears clothes that doesn't fit him. His clothes are always too tight.” And… “Jessica Green is a hot tempered red head. She is tall and thin. Her long red hair reaches her lower back. Her eyes are a light blue and light freckles are sprinkled across her nose. Jessica loves to fight and can curse like a sailor. We have been friends since kindergarten.” And… “Caroline James is a quirky blonde. She acts like a dumb blonde but it is all an act. She is very smart and has the highest marks in the school. She could be valedictorian but she didn't want to. She is just a little bit shorter than Jessica. She has chin length blonde hair and warm brown eyes. We have been friends since the 3rd grade.” And… “I turned my head and glared at Nicole Washington. Nicole Washington is the top slut of the school. She has opened her legs to almost all the guys in the school. She is a sickly thin girl with raven hair. Her eyes are almost too big and lips are fat from injections. She is such a pain in the ass.” (Now, how much is that actually true, when the Sue describes her friends in positive, glowing terms, and those she doesn’t like with a passionate venom?)
POSSESSIONS: Caroline has a brother named Sterling. Her mom has a ton of pictures. “Picture 1. Susan Smith & Sirius Black; Picture 2. Susan Smith, Lily & James Potter; Picture 3. Susan Smith, Arthur & Molly Weasley; Picture 4. Susan Smith, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin & James Potter.”
CONNECTION TO CANON: The story starts off with a young lady who supposedly likes her English class, but is bored when the teacher asks for a “3 paper essay on how you relate to the main character”. I’m sure the writer meant three pages. I don’t know about you, but I know a lot of my classmates would have loved to have a three-page essay like this their senior year, particularly with it being so close to graduation. She then whines about her stalker named Edward Moss. (In reality, Edward didn’t come across as a stalker, but more of that poor kid in high school who has a crush on the pretty girl, only to find their attentions snubbed because the girl thinks they’re ugly and smelly.) She proceeds to talk about poor Edward in gym with her best friends Jessica Green and Caroline James. All three laugh at the letter, and Jessica throws a ball at Edward, but it hits the window instead. (Yes, the writer has him randomly show up, and “when we made eye contact he licked his lips and I suddenly felt sick”, but I felt it was forced. The writer is after all, pairing her OC up with Barty because she thinks he’s cute, and yet ugly guy gets painted as a stalker. Then, in gym she runs into her “bully”, Nicole Washington. Nothing happens, but she does get another creepy letter from her “forced” stalker. Sirius randomly shows up and says, “Now that Voldemort is dead, umm, someone has been killing off Death Eaters. WE figured that they would be safe here.” He leaves, and in the second chapter she finds a bunch of pictures and her mother’s diary, the implication being here that Sirius is possibly her father. The story stops there, but it should be noted that Sirius also comes across as a stalker as well. I find myself baffled how Sirius and Barty aren't called out, but Edward is, until I remember Edward is ugly. What a nasty double standard.
ORIGIN: I suspect the writer is sixteen, so I think the idea appeals to her because it is out there, not because it is a good idea.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Sirius is alive, Barty is alive. Only the Sue’s friends are perfect, and the guys who are creepy stalkers, or sluts. Only two chapters, and I’ve got to give the writer a Toxic rating for this one. And no Suethor, you've done nothing to convince me that Riley really likes her English class, or that her blond friend isn't a dumb blond with good grades. They feel like lies.
NOTES: I’m guessing the year 1990 has some kind of significance for the Suethor. This doesn’t seem like the story a thirty-four year old would write, so I doubt this is her high school graduation year. That means 1990 is likely the year the Suethor is born, so I suspect she’s only sixteen, which would explain why the cringe factor goes over the writer’s head. In fact, she has another story for the Avengers called “The Avengers Soul Mate”. The summary reads…
”Soul mates are a rare thing. Being the soulmate of 5 is unheard of. Makayla's family is with a group that is against people who are marked as soul mates. What happens when she meets hers right after the attack in New York? Clint/Natasha/Steve/OC/Tony/BruceSoul mates are a rare thing. Being the soulmate of 5 is unheard of. Makayla's family is with a group that is against people who are marked as soul mates. What happens when she meets hers right after the attack in New York?
Clint/Natasha/Steve/OC/Tony/BruceSoul mates are a rare thing. Being the soulmate of 5 is unheard of. Makayla's family is with a group that is against people who are marked as soul mates. What happens when she meets hers right after the attack in New York? Clint/Natasha/Steve/OC/Tony/Bruce”
Nobody’s heard of a five-way soul mate because that defeats the purpose of a soul mate. I’m not saying people can’t have more than one-soul mate, particularly since I know there are people out there whose first soul mate passes away, or to whom they grow apart. The problem is there is more than one at a time here.
However, if she is sixteen, she’s had the account since 2011, so the writer wasn’t old enough to have an account.
SAMPLE:
"So class, I want you to pick a book, read it and write a 3 paper essay on how you relate to the main character…"
I sighed as I listened to Mr. Curtis drone on and on about our new book report/ essay. I tapped my pen against my notebook and looked up at the clock. Almost time for hell aka gym. At least gym is my last class of the day. I then looked at my notebook and started to doodle on it. I usually love my English class but today it is just boring. As I was drawing another flower a paper note landed on my desk. I picked it up and saw that it was addressed to me. I carefully opened it and started to read.
Dear Riley,
My life is beautiful because of you my love my lady love. You entered into my life as a candlelight in the dark. You showed me the meaning of love with not your words but with your care. I know your shy nature doesn't let you open up to me; but your eyes speak up the love you have for me.
Love,
Edward Moss
What the hell? I looked over to where Edward was sitting at. When I noticed that he was staring at me I could feel the color drain from my face and feel my stomach drop. Why do I attract the creepers? Edward Moss has been stalking me since freshmen year. I have turned him down who knows how many times. One of my best friends, Jessica has threatened him as well. This guy is just not getting the point!
Edward Moss is a short, chubby boy with an acne problem. He has curly black hair and beady blue eyes. His nose looks like it has been punch a few times. He has little tiny yellow teeth that looks weird when he smiles. He smells like he doesn't own a shower and he wears clothes that doesn't fit him. His clothes are always too tight.