3714: Imagine Dragons - Windiseil the Tattooed
- Flashback Sue is yesterday’s Sue, and for a reason.
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
- The Fourteenth Annual Pottersues is also currently running.
TITLE: Imagine Dragons
PERPETRATOR: Windiseil the Tattooed
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: The cover is of someone and a black dragon like creature.
SUMMARY:”AU/Mpreg/occ Dumbles has betrayed them, and is now on the run. FIFTH YEAR! Now they have to deal with Umbridge, creature blood, moody half wolves and pregnant werewolves. Alive!James/Alive!Lilly Evil!Dumbles Lot's of Oc's!”
FULL NAME: Lucrectea Medusa Black-Riddle, Levi Severus Snape-Lupin, and Lucine Eileen Snape-Lupin
SPECIES: Yes, the last one is from yesterdays entry. The writer of this fic borrowed another writer’s Mary Sue.
HAIR: See markings.
EYES: See markings
MARKINGS: “Lucine looked like her parents like most children do, she has her mama's nose and mouth, and Severus's cheek bones and black hair, though hers reaches down to her waist. Deep green eyes with swirls of amber. She is tall, around five' eleven. She is lean, with curves, normally she would walk with grace, but it seemed like she was tripping her own feet all the way to King Crossing Station today. […] Lucrectea was similar but very different, she looks like her parents with Regulus's small stature and his swan neck, and nose, but she has Tom's sharp looks, his red eyes and pale completion. Her inky hair reaches straight to her mid-thigh. She is of average height around five foot five. She was thin, with wrists to small for her hand, and she had no real emotion expressed. Luca looked like an emotionless doll.”
POSSESSIONS: The minds of the canon characters, as they’re all OoC. It is so bad that “Pandy isn’t going to be an annoying little pure-blooded bitch in this story. Luca and Lucine are actually friends with her.”
CONNECTION TO CANON: None. The story is honestly even more convoluted than the previous one. There is also a Roar PinkFlame Drageanus-Black, a Stephan Potter. I guess the best way to put this, the writer decided to write a self-insert for another writer’s already convoluted fanfic. There is no plot, except for some random OCs running around causing havoc in the world of Harry Potter.
ORIGIN: Yes, the writer admits the characters are OoC. That doesn’t make it suddenly okay. Also, “it’s not that I have anything against Cho, It’s just it works out for this story and how I have it mentally planned” isn’t okay either. Also, we’ve got “lots of pairings, lots of m/m pairing and yes there is implied and mentions of mpreg. Creature half bloods and character bashing! Yay, Fun!” I finally got a bit more information regarding Luca in chapter eight in an author’s note. (It’s bad when I get more from the author’s notes than the story. “She is left handed […] Her favorite color is red, she almost and I mean almost wished she was in Gryffindor […] She lived in America for two years […] She was raised by Regulus, her Papa […] She almost doesn't call him Mama anymore […] She used to have a child's crush on her uncle Sirius […] During fourth year she, and Harry were forced to play in the Tri-wizard tournament […] The only reason she's not taking the Quidditch class is because she doesn't want to make it into a 'job' […] She is secretly training under Bill to be a curse breaker […] She made a promise with Regulus before she started school that she wouldn't date until she graduated”. By the way, there is NO Quidditch class. In chapter ten, the writer tells us, “warning this chapter is mostly CRACK and I died as I wrote this, and because I almost died, I almost didn’t finish it.” (First, not really any different than the previous chapters of random plot, and second, CRACK doesn’t mean something that makes you the writer personally fall off your chair laughing at.)
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Making the characters OoC? A ton of OCs piled up in one spot, causing a traffic jam of Mary Sues.
NOTES: I’m guessing the writers of both fics are rather young, due to the level of immaturity in the fics I’ve just reviewed, but also the appalling grammar in both. The lack of effort put into both pieces, and the arbitrary attitude of treating the AU like a game does make me a bit miffed, as I’ve read -as I’m sure many of the minions have - well written AU that actually make some kind of actual sense in regards to the changes made.
SAMPLE:
Luca Tried to share a rare smile withe her best friend Lucine, no they were sisters really. Lucine on the other hand kept her frown. she had bags under her eyes from loss of sleep, and her skin was almost white as snow.
"Luci, what is bothering you?" Luca asked, Lucine sighed letting her head fall into her hands. then she cried, she cried loud and hard. Her body quivered her face and hand damp. "Oh, Luci." Luca said wrapping her arms around her sister like friend into an awkward hug.
several loud and happy shouts and calls from parents and their children. Lucrectea Black or more commonly know as Luca considering it is a mouth full just to say her first name walked lazily next to her cousin Draco, in front was their parents chatting about their fifth year.
"Luca." she was greeted, turning her eyes fell upon Lucine who looked not so as pale but still tires with grief. Next to Lucine with his hand in her was her little brother Levi. Her mama and Papa behind them.
"Wow, Lucine you look loke bloody hell!" Draco practically shouted, earning a hard tap on the head from his mother. Lucine glared, but it didn't last long as tears threatened to spill.
"Lucine." Remus whispered taking the girl in his arms. "Mama's here. she doesn't have to go this year, Severus." he mostly 'told' his husband. Severus was about to reply but Luca did it for him.
"She's going." She said crossing her arms sending Lucine a pointed look. "She is not leaving me there alone." Her red eyes blazed at the Snape-Lupin family(Not Levi though).
"Luca, that's not very-"
"Oh, shut up you toaster!" Lucine cut her 'Mama' Remus off. The two sisterly like friends gazed at each other. The two looked similar, in fact many made the mistake of asking is they were twins, which ended with said persons having to take a trip to the hospital wing and a week detention for Luca and Lucine.
- Don't forget about the Sorting Hat.
- The Fourteenth Annual Pottersues is also currently running.
TITLE: Imagine Dragons
PERPETRATOR: Windiseil the Tattooed
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: The cover is of someone and a black dragon like creature.
SUMMARY:”AU/Mpreg/occ Dumbles has betrayed them, and is now on the run. FIFTH YEAR! Now they have to deal with Umbridge, creature blood, moody half wolves and pregnant werewolves. Alive!James/Alive!Lilly Evil!Dumbles Lot's of Oc's!”
FULL NAME: Lucrectea Medusa Black-Riddle, Levi Severus Snape-Lupin, and Lucine Eileen Snape-Lupin
SPECIES: Yes, the last one is from yesterdays entry. The writer of this fic borrowed another writer’s Mary Sue.
HAIR: See markings.
EYES: See markings
MARKINGS: “Lucine looked like her parents like most children do, she has her mama's nose and mouth, and Severus's cheek bones and black hair, though hers reaches down to her waist. Deep green eyes with swirls of amber. She is tall, around five' eleven. She is lean, with curves, normally she would walk with grace, but it seemed like she was tripping her own feet all the way to King Crossing Station today. […] Lucrectea was similar but very different, she looks like her parents with Regulus's small stature and his swan neck, and nose, but she has Tom's sharp looks, his red eyes and pale completion. Her inky hair reaches straight to her mid-thigh. She is of average height around five foot five. She was thin, with wrists to small for her hand, and she had no real emotion expressed. Luca looked like an emotionless doll.”
POSSESSIONS: The minds of the canon characters, as they’re all OoC. It is so bad that “Pandy isn’t going to be an annoying little pure-blooded bitch in this story. Luca and Lucine are actually friends with her.”
CONNECTION TO CANON: None. The story is honestly even more convoluted than the previous one. There is also a Roar PinkFlame Drageanus-Black, a Stephan Potter. I guess the best way to put this, the writer decided to write a self-insert for another writer’s already convoluted fanfic. There is no plot, except for some random OCs running around causing havoc in the world of Harry Potter.
ORIGIN: Yes, the writer admits the characters are OoC. That doesn’t make it suddenly okay. Also, “it’s not that I have anything against Cho, It’s just it works out for this story and how I have it mentally planned” isn’t okay either. Also, we’ve got “lots of pairings, lots of m/m pairing and yes there is implied and mentions of mpreg. Creature half bloods and character bashing! Yay, Fun!” I finally got a bit more information regarding Luca in chapter eight in an author’s note. (It’s bad when I get more from the author’s notes than the story. “She is left handed […] Her favorite color is red, she almost and I mean almost wished she was in Gryffindor […] She lived in America for two years […] She was raised by Regulus, her Papa […] She almost doesn't call him Mama anymore […] She used to have a child's crush on her uncle Sirius […] During fourth year she, and Harry were forced to play in the Tri-wizard tournament […] The only reason she's not taking the Quidditch class is because she doesn't want to make it into a 'job' […] She is secretly training under Bill to be a curse breaker […] She made a promise with Regulus before she started school that she wouldn't date until she graduated”. By the way, there is NO Quidditch class. In chapter ten, the writer tells us, “warning this chapter is mostly CRACK and I died as I wrote this, and because I almost died, I almost didn’t finish it.” (First, not really any different than the previous chapters of random plot, and second, CRACK doesn’t mean something that makes you the writer personally fall off your chair laughing at.)
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Making the characters OoC? A ton of OCs piled up in one spot, causing a traffic jam of Mary Sues.
NOTES: I’m guessing the writers of both fics are rather young, due to the level of immaturity in the fics I’ve just reviewed, but also the appalling grammar in both. The lack of effort put into both pieces, and the arbitrary attitude of treating the AU like a game does make me a bit miffed, as I’ve read -as I’m sure many of the minions have - well written AU that actually make some kind of actual sense in regards to the changes made.
SAMPLE:
Luca Tried to share a rare smile withe her best friend Lucine, no they were sisters really. Lucine on the other hand kept her frown. she had bags under her eyes from loss of sleep, and her skin was almost white as snow.
"Luci, what is bothering you?" Luca asked, Lucine sighed letting her head fall into her hands. then she cried, she cried loud and hard. Her body quivered her face and hand damp. "Oh, Luci." Luca said wrapping her arms around her sister like friend into an awkward hug.
several loud and happy shouts and calls from parents and their children. Lucrectea Black or more commonly know as Luca considering it is a mouth full just to say her first name walked lazily next to her cousin Draco, in front was their parents chatting about their fifth year.
"Luca." she was greeted, turning her eyes fell upon Lucine who looked not so as pale but still tires with grief. Next to Lucine with his hand in her was her little brother Levi. Her mama and Papa behind them.
"Wow, Lucine you look loke bloody hell!" Draco practically shouted, earning a hard tap on the head from his mother. Lucine glared, but it didn't last long as tears threatened to spill.
"Lucine." Remus whispered taking the girl in his arms. "Mama's here. she doesn't have to go this year, Severus." he mostly 'told' his husband. Severus was about to reply but Luca did it for him.
"She's going." She said crossing her arms sending Lucine a pointed look. "She is not leaving me there alone." Her red eyes blazed at the Snape-Lupin family(Not Levi though).
"Luca, that's not very-"
"Oh, shut up you toaster!" Lucine cut her 'Mama' Remus off. The two sisterly like friends gazed at each other. The two looked similar, in fact many made the mistake of asking is they were twins, which ended with said persons having to take a trip to the hospital wing and a week detention for Luca and Lucine.